Power Rangers Lost Galaxy 101

You know, I don't know that I could do a good job of explaining the origin of this season. Fortunately, I was able to find a transcript of a planning meeting held between Haim Saban and head writer Judd Lynn:

Saban: Ah, Judd, good to see you. Good thing that renewal came through, eh?

Lynn: Yes sir, now I've been going over-

Saban: Do you know what made last season such a success?

Lynn: Um....good character development?

Saban: Fuck no. It was space!

Lynn: Space?

Saban: Yeah, all that outer space shooting and firing and the rockets and whatnot.

Lynn: You never actually watch the show, do you?

Saban: Bits and pieces. Anyway, I've already sold the network on the title "Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy"

Lynn: Yeah, that could be a problem. I've been going over the footage we got from Japan, and I don't think that an outer space show is workable.

Saban: Fuck Japan, we'll make the footage do what we want.

Lynn: I don't know sir, for starters, the zords are all clearly animals.

Saban: Hmmm....that's a tough one. (snaps fingers) I know, we'll call them Galactabeasts!

Lynn: And the Rangers are mainly armed with swords.

Saban: You mean Quasar Sabers? Anyway, that's the problem with you Lynn, you're always afraid to grab the situation by the balls. I've thinking, this season, no Earth, the Rangers are part of some sort of space colony.

Lynn: But all the zord fights take place on Earth, I can't even imagine-

Saban: Bah! The space colony will be like a whole city in space.

Lynn: So, this takes place in the future?

Saban: Nah, we still got one of the Bulk and Skull's under contract, so it'll have to be present day.

Lynn: Oh, okay, so we are bringing back the old Rangers. That's good, I think kids are finally starting to warm to-

Saban: (sternly) No. We need new Rangers.

Lynn: But why?

Saban: I....don't want to talk about it.

Lynn: Okay, well, so for the new Red Ranger, I was thinking that it would progressive to have a woman lead the-

Saban: Oh, no. No, no, no, no. We tried the whole diversity shit back in Turbo, I ain't getting burned twice. I demand the whitest guy you can find.

Lynn: Well, there is this one guy....


Saban: Good, I like it, white, male, muscular, the perfect Red Ranger. Can he act?

Lynn: Well, by our standards....

Saban: Works for me. Now who is this guy?

Lynn: Okay, well, he's introduced as being the rebel younger brother of one of the officers on the space colony crew, but the brother dies, and so Leo has to step up.

Saban: A rebel? I don't know....

Lynn: Not a real rebel, you know, a rebel by Power Rangers standards, like how Tommy used to be kind of renegade despite never actually of the sort.

Saban: Excellent. Can his brother die in a magical earthquake?

Lynn: (confused) That's an oddly specific request, but I can't see the harm. Okay, so the Blue Ranger is-

Saban: You know what we haven't had? An Asian guy. Oh, we've had a bunch of Asian women but no Asian guy. Make the Blue Ranger an Asian guy.

Lynn: We did have an Asian guy, remember Adam? He was on the show for several seasons and came back last year to-you know what fine, we'll make the straight-laced nerd an Asian, I don't even care anymore.
Saban: Okay, I like where this is heading. Now, we need an alien on the team.

Lynn: An alien?

Saban: Well, someone not from Earth. You know, like on how Star Trek the people always looked basically human no matter where they were from? Like that. Except I don't want to have to pay for make-up.

Lynn: Okay, the Yellow Ranger slot is open, I mean, we usually just use it to fill out the roster but-

Saban: "Fill out" that reminds me of this head shot I got recently, I want you to make her the Yellow Ranger.

Lynn: Uh...is that some sort of loin cloth bikini?

Saban: Yeah, and her character is always wearing that as her costume.

Lynn: But I don't....(to himself) okay, Judd, it's okay, just breathe. (to Saban) Okay, she's from a less advanced culture than our own and she's also the "mystical one."

Saban: See, that's the kind of producing I'm looking for.

Lynn: Right, now for the Green Rang-

Saban: I think the Green Ranger should be a wise-talking black mechanic.

Lynn: (pause) Some people may not like it that the only guy who has a lower-class job is an African-American.

Saban: Hey, I'm meeting them half-way by having a Black Ranger at all after that T.J. debacle.

Lynn: Okay...I guess....

Lynn: Okay, that's four slots filled, now, for the last one, I'm thinking outside the box, if we really want to make a splash we should make the Pink Ranger a le-

Saban: No, we're not doing that. Get me the most librarian-looking hottie you can find.

Lynn: Why would there be a librarian in space? Can she be a scientist instead?

Saban: Sure, I suppose so. But her name has to be something science-y like Kimbrant or Kendrix or something, I don't know, you're the writer, come with something better than that.

Lynn: I'll....get right on that.

Saban: Alright, good, now, let's talk villains. Now I'm thinking that we should get away from all of this foam-suit shit.

Lynn: But we use those suits because they're in the footage that half the show is composed of.

Saban: Now I know I've told you about grabbing the balls already. I'm thinking a puppet or a muppet or whatever. I like the name Scorpius, what do you think about that?

Lynn: I think that that name might be taken by this show in pre-production in Australia.

Saban: Fuck Australia, we're going with Scorpius and he's a puppet.

Saban: Beautiful, now, you're the writer, why is he after the Rangers?

Lynn: He...uh...wants to steal the Quasar Sabers...or something.

Saban: Eh...you'll figure it out later. Now, one last thing, I want the villain to have a sexy young daughter who wears tight clothes.

Lynn: Wait, the daughter of the puppet? Wouldn't she be a puppet?

Saban: No, she's basically human....and hot.

Lynn: But her father's a puppet, I don't know how that could possibly-

Saban: Just make it happen.

Saban: Okay, Lynn, we're about done here, now get to work on the scripts. Hey, you know what'd be good, a team-up between last season's Rangers and this seasons.

Lynn: But you just fired them all.

Saban: Yeah, but God knows they're all very available.

(transcript ends)