Up to the Challenge

Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 8

Original Airdate: 4-1-2000

Last Time: Robots!

On the aquabase, Chad gets out of the water and tells Kelsey to meet him in the galley. She meets him there, and Chad explains that he made friends with "this huge school of fish." God damn it, show! Kelsey thinks Chad's nuts, but Chad drags her off to "teach her something new." I don't like where this is headed.

At the ziggurat o' shadows, Diabolico still wants to destroy Mariner Bay. Vypra introduces the monster of the week that I could care less about. Credits!

In Mariner Bay's sequestered pagoda district, Chad is trying to teach Kelsey some Tai Chi. Kelsey cares not for such things, and Chad tries to gently point out that it would help her calm down, and this leads to some playful fighting. Just then, some douche drives up on a motorcycle, complete with biker babe accessory. For some unknowable reason, the douche immediately challenges Chad to a fight in the spazziest way possible. Chad, realizing that it's wrong to pummel the mentally unfit, declines, and so the douche calls Chad a chicken complete with bawking sounds and arm flapping. Kelsey, however, demands the Chad fight the douche to preserve his Ranger honor, because she's also a bit nuts. The douche is relentless and Chad accidentally knocks him to the ground in the process of putting his towel away. Thus, they must now fight, but the struggle is cut short when the douche realizes that he has no chance in hell of beating up Chad and the two Rangers get called away by Captain Mitchell.

The monster is attacking the city and Carter orders the team to rescue the civilians. They do and the team celebrates as Carter gives Kelsey a noogie. The monster, confused by this as I am, decides to attack. The douche is nearby and sees the Rangers fight the monster who flees into an enclosed space. Kelsey wants to burst in with guns blazing, but Chad isn't so sure. Kelsey goes in regardless and manages to somehow get both Rangers blown up. The douche, seeing all of this, has a plan and follows the monster.

The monster rendezvouses with Vypra and the villainess demands that the monster, "use your explosive gas....to blow up ALL..of Mariner Bay!" The douche is there and is captured. He decides that he wants to be part of the winning team and asks Vypra to teach him to beat Chad. Vypra agrees and blows some magical dust on his face.

In the hospital, Kelsey is still injured and Chad blames himself. The Rangers get called in to fight the monster again, and Chad splits off when a Batling gives him a challenge issued by the douche. The rest of the Rangers fight the monster again.

Meanwhile, the douche is breaking some wooden boards to show off that he's now proficient in martial arts or something. Chad shows up to try to save the douche, but well, they've come too far not to fight, I suppose.

Back on the aquabase, Kelsey is trying to get to the Ranger fight, and this inspires Ms. Fairweather to give her a new Lightspeed Cycle with a sidecar.

The fight between the demon douche and Chad continues, and the other Rangers are losing against this week's monster until Kelsey shows up with the new toy and saves the day. Also, Chad beats up the douche, but is pinned by some Batlings. Vypra orders the douche to finish him off, but the douche can take no more of Vypra and frees Chad instead. They fight off Vypra and the Batlings and reconcile.

Chad then comes to the rescue of the other Rangers, and the episode goes into hurry-up mode as Carter kills him with the Lightspeed Sidecar. No megazord fight, as there is no time!

Later, Kelsey comes to appreciate Tai Chi, and the douche decides to form his own martial arts class, even though the douche was never shown to actually win a fight. God help those kids if they ever have to use the douche's moves in self-defence. Anyway, Chad runs into some tennis girl and is too nervous to talk to her, so Kelsey resolves to teach Chad how to talk to women, because she knows how to pick up chicks. Show Over!

Next Time: My jokes about Kelsey's sexuality become even less subtle!