Sorceror of the Sands

Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 32

Original Airdate: 11-9-2000

Last Time: The Rangers lost their memories, and so I had to endure a clip show. Jerks.

Kelsey and Joel are racing through an obstacle course. Now, usually, I'd claim that show was by rather patronizing if they showed the girl beating the guy, assuming both are reasonably fit, but, fuck, have you guys seen Kelsey? She should win against Joel in a laugher. Incidentally, should any of you search the internet for pictures of Kelsey, you're likely to find out that, yes, she has appeared nude on screen. Anyway, Kelsey does triumph, but Dana wasn't keeping track of the time because she was thinking about Ryan. Who? Oh, right, her brother with the shitty costume.

Anyway, the poor sod in question is still wandering the desert when he collapses and is found by a mysterious figure with a raven...or a crow. I'm not an ornithologist, so I couldn't say. At the ziggurat o' time-killing, Bansheera threatens to fire Olympius and replace him with Diabolico. Olympius asks Jinxer to the key to some sort of hellish underworld, and Diabolico watches, but does nothing. Credits!

Ryan wakes up in the tent of the mysterious figure that saved him. Ryan has apparently been looking for some sort of Sorceror, and shows off some ancient writings to the mysterious figure, but won't let him look too closely, as he's not the sorceror Ryan's looking for. So the mysterious figure drugs Ryan and takes the writings and shows them to his crow.

Elsewhere, Olympius enters the gates of hell. Diabolico continues to watch and do nothing. Action! Some gatekeeper explains to Olympius that he's now in the place where monsters go when they die. Olympius decides to lure the Rangers there. This involves the gatekeeper coming out into Mariner Bay and blowing up a building to get the Rangers attention, and includes a great exchange between the monster and Carter:

Carter: Just what do you think you're doing?
Monster: You're about to find out!
Carter: Not if we can help it!

Well played, Carter, well played. They still get sent to hell, though. Olympius shows up and locks the gates of hell, trapping the Rangers there. Olympius then gets the gatekeeper to summon the spirits of all of the monsters that the Rangers killed. They blow them all up, but....well, they're already in hell, so the monsters just come back.

Back in the mildly Middle Eastern desert, Ryan wakes up and finally meets the sorceror he was looking for. It was the bird all along, but he transforms into his human form, which is wearing a truly awful outift. I guess they were trying to go for "generic Arabian wizard" but they ended up with some sort of mustard-and-purple colored monstrousity. He explains that Ryan needs to find the key that Olympius was using on the gates of hell in order to defeat Bansheera or something.

Back in hell, the Rangers destroy the gatekeeper's staff, an act that causes the undead monsters to start attacking the gatekeeper and Olympius. Elsewhere, Diabolico has a good chuckle at the situation, and then steals the key to hell, trapping Olympius there as well. The Rangers decide to run away to a nearby cave. Ryan and the sorceror use augury to find out that there in trouble and sends a magical light to guide the Rangers to safety. They find a portal, but some other monsters also escape. The Rangers use the ol' Supertrain and the Lightspeed Solarzord to kill them all.

Meanwhile, Olympius is still getting beaten up in hell, and Bansheera is surprisingly accepting of Diabolico exiling her son to hell. The other demons are somewhat concerned that Bansheera was actually willing to let Diabolico get away with his damning of Olympius, as it does not bode well for them.

Oh, and the Sorceror decides to cast some spell to send all of the demons to hell, so Diabolico casts a counter-spell to turn the old man into dust. Show Over!

Next Time: The endless Diabolico-Olympius rivalry continues and, much like the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry, at this point I hope for mutual destruction.