Cyborg Rangers

Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rangers, Episode 7

Original Airdate: 3-25-2000

Last Time: Vypra introduced the Vypari, priced at an affordable $14.99, and so the Rangers were forced to counter with a line of Lightspeed Cycles, available for only $9.99 individually, and $39.99 for the set of five.

In another footage-wasting cold opening, the Rangers fight a lightning monster. Credits!

The Rangers get the shit beaten out of them but are saved at the last minute as another team of Rangers arrives to save them. They're robots and the real Rangers are somewhat confused by their appearance. The robot Rangers crush the monster and the Rangers try to celebrate with their robotic brethren, but the robots have no understanding of this human idea of "mirth" and walk away. A scientist shows up and explains that he controls the robot Rangers, which he calls cyborgs. I do not think cyborg means what the writers think it means.

At the aquabase, Captain Mitchell is also confused until an old man named General McKnight shows up to explain the situation. It turns out the new cyborg Rangers are here to replace the flesh and blood Rangers because the general knows all too well the frailties of the human heart. Everyone at aquabase is bummed about their redundancy. General McKnight makes the Rangers give up their morphers. On the plus side, now Joel can try to hit on Ms. Fairweather again!

In the ziggurat o' vileness, Loki still wants to kill Impus. Vypra says something, and I'm beginning to think that the actress doesn't speak English and is just learning her lines phonetically.

Back under the sea, General McKnight is pleased with his automatons, but Ms. Fairweather complains that the machines lack a heart, and are thus inferior to the real Rangers. Suck it, Mack! (That will make sense in about ten seasons.) Meanwhile the Rangers are brooding about being replaced.

The lightning monster attacks, and the robot Rangers show up to beat on him. They're basically unstoppable and trash the monster. Unfortunately, the robots get hit with lightning, and, as per the rules of robotics, are now uncontrollably evil. And, of course, there is no easy way of shutting them down. General McKnight is upset at this turn of events. The Rangers show up to beat their evil counterparts, but the robots can now speak and the Red Cyborg Ranger explains that the humans will all be "terminated." Of course the writers would go there.

Captain Mitchell shows up and gives the Rangers back their morphers. Ranger-on-Ranger violence ensues, and the robot Rangers are destroyed by the power of the human spirit...also by the fact that the robots have giant weakpoints on their chests. The lightning monster is still not dead...but the Rangers call on the Rescue Bird-gun-thing, and that ends that. But then Jinxer shows up and says some shitty poetry and the monster gets big. The Rangers call out their megazord and the monster get killed so badly that no amount of crappy verse can save him.

Later, General McKnight is forced to apologize for the evil robots. He promises he won't interfere again. You know, I'm not really clear on exactly how the Rangers fit into the military command structure, to be honest. Show Over!

Next Time: Vypra's involved and nothing can salvage an episode where that's the case.