Orion Rising

Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy, Episode 12

Original Airdate: 5-1-1999

Last Time: People searched for the Lights of Orion and failed and I hate this go-nowhere story arc.

In the Galactic Apartment, Leo and Kendrix are getting ready for Damon's surprise birthday party. Leo, still wearing his leather jacket of douchery +1, looks longingly at Damon's frosted cake before Kendrix slaps his hand away. It's the only way Leo will learn. They leave, and Maya walks in and I realize this is going to be one of those "Maya no understand Earth custom!" type things. Sure enough, Maya decides she's hungry, and uses her nature powers to smell the cake that's under a metal serving tray inside a cabinet. Holy fuck is this stupid, even by the standards of this show, and this is a show that featured a horse with Power Ranger barding last episode. Credits!

Later, Maya has eaten the entire cake, of course she has. Kendrix walks in and is understandably distressed. Kendrix takes a surprisingly logical tack and questions why Maya took something that clearly did not belong to her. Maya, of course, doesn't understand the concept of a cake that is forbidden because her people were too primitive for property rights. And now they're made of stone. So, remember, a strong sense of individual property rights is the only things protecting our nation from pertrification, and for that reason we must push for stronger restrictions on eminent domain. Leo decides to eavesdrop because it's a slightly scummy thing to do, and thus perfect for him.

Kendrix and Maya argue about the cake and the proper distribution of wealth. Kai notices Leo listening in and joins in, for he is easily led. This somehow leads to Maya angrily deciding to go to the grocery market and Leo getting splattered with the remains of the cake. And somewhere, Bulk smiles for reasons he does not know.

Elsewhere, a samurai monster sets up a forcefield to allow him to search for the Lights of Orion without interference. Kendrix and Maya come out of the supermarket, by the way, on a space colony, where the amount of food has to be pretty limited, would there really be a supermarket? They both run into the forcefield, and then find the monster. The girls morph and fight the monster and some Sting Wingers. The samurai monster, being a man, easily defeats Maya and Kendrix. The other Rangers show up on their motorcycles, but can't get through the forcefield. Inside, the air's running out, and Maya and Kendrix can't breathe.

Kendrix thinks that they should retreat and figure out how to save all of the other people trapped in the forcefield who can't breathe. Maya, however, is once again being contrary and decides to charge the monster. It predictably goes poorly, and Kendrix decides to grab Maya and run.

Elsewhere, Maya and Kendrix continuing arguing. Maya decides to attack the monster alone despite the fact that such an attack failed thirty seconds ago. Meanwhile, the other Rangers have been trying to access the sealed off portion of the colony through underground tunnels and realize that they can't do it.

Kendrix is also trying to figure a way out and comes across what I can only describe as miniature versions of herself and Maya. L'il Maya asks Kendrix if she "can make more air," just like regular Maya would. But the two little girls are okay, "because they have each other." The moral of today's episode is that the power of friendship can defeat asphyxiation. You don't need an oxygen tank to go SCUBA diving, you just need your best chum!

But wait, this episode gets even dumber. Maya, who's been tracking the monster, comes upon a gift shop and finally understands the Earth concept of "birth day." Maya is overcome with guilt. Some Sting Wingers attack, but Kendrix shows up and the two girls fight them off. They then have a heart-to-heart talk and forgive each other. They resolve to make an even better cake...right after they get rid of this forcefield.

Later, Kendrix and Maya find the forcefield emitter and have to fight the monster. Elsewhere, the Magna Defender is hanging out when the other Rangers come up and bug him. The Magna Defender has a much more exciting way to solve the problem: order the Torozord to crash into it and full speed and hope for the best. Leo explains that such a solution will certainly kill all of those trapped in the forcefield for some reason, but, as you might guess, the Magna Defender doesn't really give a shit. He decides to up the ante by growing super-sized and merging with the Torozord. The male Rangers morph and call on their zords to stop him.

This gives Kendrix and Maya one last chance to shut down the forcefield before it's too late, and they attack the samurai monster. Outside, the Magna Defender is kicking his usual amount of ass when he appears to have a heart attack and has to shrink down to normal size. The other Rangers try to help him, but the Magna Defender decides to run for it. Kendrix and Maya defeat the monster with the power of friendship of some such nonsense and break the forcefield. The other Rangers show up and blow him up some more, but the monster still survives.

Suddenly, however, the sky grows dark as the Lights of Orion finally, finally, finally show up....and promptly fly away from Terra Venture. The monster teleports out and that's about it, really.

Later, Damon has his surprise party. Incidentally, do you know how much it sucks to be Damon? He doesn't even get his own episode for his birthday. Everyone ponders the Lights of Orion. Show Over!

Next Time: The hunt for the Lights of Orion enters its....I don't know, tenth episode?