Stolen Beauty

Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy, Episode 17

Original Airdate: 10-2-1999

Last Time: Leo found a way to brood about his brother coming back to life. Shit, even Andros couldn't pull that off.

On the command carrier, Trakeena beholds her visage in a mirror and does that whole Snow White thing about who's the fairest of them all. A monster shows up in the mirror and explains that Trakeena is pretty hot, but then again, so are a bunch of women on Terra Venture. It's nice to know that monsters from outer space have exactly the same beauty standards as us, despite generally being grotesque. Trakeena's solution? She knocks the monster out of the mirror and demands that he steal all of their beauty. The monster heads down to Terra Venture and starts stealing some beauty. It becomes apparent that losing your beauty causes your face to break out in purple and yellow splotches, which, I suppose, is final proof of the ultimate ugliness of Minnesota Vikings fans. The monster then turns the beauty into sand, which seems odd, but hell, let's just go with it. Credits!

Later, the monster is still stealing the hotness of the women of Terra Venture. Obviously, the Rangers cannot allow that to happen and attack. That can't stop the monster from escaping, though. The monster heads back to Trakeena to report that he's totally made all of Terra Venture's women less attractive than Trakeena, but the villainess decides to head down to the colony to confirm. She teleports in and disguises herself as a normal woman. Her exact level of hotness is up for debate, but she's apparently attractive enough to cause construction worker mishaps, and to have a crappy rock song play in the background as she walks around in slow motion. Lots of people end up in the sorts of messes that in past seasons would have befallen Bulk and Skull. Anyway, Trakeena sees Mike and decides to pounce.

Speaking of Bulk, he's back! For the first time since the pilot, ol' Bulk is around. And now he's a bartender because...apparently Phenomenus fucked up so badly that they were both reassigned to the bar. Trakeena walks in and cause Bulk and Phenomenus to engage in a pale imitation of Bulk and Skull for season's past. Let's face it, Phenomenus isn't even the Shemp to Bulk and Skull, he's one of those guys they brought in to replace Shemp. Trakeena poisons Mike's burger, and introduces herself as Tracy and claims she's new to Terra Venture. Mike realizes that such a thing would be impossible on an isolated space colony. If it were Leo, he'd probably have already eaten half of the poison burger and let Trakeena try on his morpher. Mike realizes he's late and asks Trakeena to meet his friends. She agrees.

On the command carrier, Scorpius is making a coccoon to transform Trakeena into something else. I hope it's less whiny. Back on Terra Venture, Mike has led Trakeena to the Galactic Apartment. Everyone decides to play to offensive gender stereotypes as the guys are completely absorbed in lusting after her and the girls are shrewish over the intruder. They all leave to go do something. The monster almost kills the Rangers by dropping some steel girders, but misses. He steals Kendrix and Maya's beauty, and since Maya still has a d-cup, I think he's somewhat missed the point. This also incapacitates the ladies, as we all know that ugly girls are useless. The monster escapes and Mike decides to take Tracy home.

Trakeena and Mike stop off to get something to drink, and Trakeena tries to poison Mike again. This time it appears to work and Mike collapses. Turns out, however, that Mike is way smarter than any other Ranger we will ever see as he'd figured out who Trakeena was several minutes ago and faked being poisoned so he could retrieve the beauty. He releases the beauty sand which fixes everyone.

The other Rangers show up and it devolves into your standard monster fight, with some Sting Wingers there to slow things down a bit. Mike and Kendrix finish off the monster, and we go to the giant-sized lightning round. It ends with the Galaxy Megazord using its final attack where it pertrifies and shatters an enemy.

Later, Mike is showing off a magic trick where he makes a drop cloth disappear. The male Rangers pick up Maya and Kendrix who are doing some sort of facial thing and thus mildly resemble the "ugly" people from before. Damon freaks the hell out for a bit. On the command carrier, the coccoon is ready and Scorpius presses his daughter to enter it and transform into something useful. She doesn't want to do it, however, because it'd make her ugly. She decides to run away from home in protest. Kids today! Show Over!

Next Time: An Aliens homage....for no real good reason.