Tuesday, July 6, 2010

True Blue to the Rescue

Power Rangers in Space, Episode 18

Original Airdate: 9-19-1998

Last Time: The Rangers, realizing that their fans have already purchased the Astro and Delta Megazord action figures, decide to take it to the limit by introducing a third megazord.

Incidentally, September 19th is my birthday....I'd imagine that there was a good chance that my birthday in 1998 was made significantly worse by this episode.

On some desert planet, some Piranhatrons are making Lightning Cruiser and Storm Blaster haul heavy rocks, presumably as punishment for running over so many Piranhatrons last season. Lightning Cruiser get stuck and the Piranhatrons, in freeing the car, accidently expose the car's laser cannon. Lightning Cruiser immediately blasts one of the Piranhatrons and manages to free Storm Blaster before getting recaptured. Storm Blaster takes off and head to Earth. Credits!

On the Dark Fortress, Astronema gets a message from Divatox and the credits read "Special Appearance by Blake Foster." Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck. Fuck. Divatox asks Astronema to look out for her wayward automobile and to give Divatox a call if it shows up. Astronema refuses to play ball and loudly declares her intention to steal the car for herself. Astronema sends some space fighters after Storm Blaster.

The Rangers are hanging on the bridge of the Megaship when Alpha tells them about the space high-speed chase. Andros asks, in so many words, what the fuck a Storm Blaster is, and why what appears to be a modified Jeep Wrangler is flying through space. T.J. explains that Andros is about to be introduced. Andros is going to be introduced to a lot of unpleasant things in this episode.

Storm Blaster makes it to Earth, but is immediately surrounded by Quantrons. The Rangers show up and save Storm Blaster. Come on guys, Justin doesn't have to get involved! Astronema, however, decides to crush my dreams by introducing this episode's monster, which appears to be a man with a lion's head and a bazooka. T.J. showing a disregard for all that is good and decent, orders Storm Blaster to run, likely knowing exactly where, or more accurately whom, the car will run to. The Rangers get captured, and I know where this is heading, but that doesn't make it any better.

Elsewhere, I see an ominously-familiar head of hair. It's Justin and he's thinking about the other Rangers. He then has a lengthy flashback to his Turbo salad days, although to avoid confusing younger viewers, they only show highlights with the current Rangers. Justin goes back inside and goes to sleep. Justin's dad proves he can be a deadbeat no matter where he lives by cancelling plans to spend time with his son so he can get caught up on his work. Justin whines at this news. Justin hears Storm Blaster in his yard, and looks out his window to confirm that yes, the stupid car decided to go to Justin for help. Justin goes out to see what's up and the car beckons him inside. He climbs inside and they head off to save the Rangers. Awesome. The producers decide to taunt fans by recreating the iconic E.T. moon image with Justin and the car. I truly, truly, truly hate them.

Elsewhere, the Rangers have been chained up, and the villains are trying to get them to lower the Megaship's shields. Hey, here's a thought, just kill them! Who cares about their damn ship, it's not like it's much of a threat with no Power Rangers! Storm Blaster arrives at the scene, and Justin takes a look at the situation. Quantrons find him in all of ten seconds and I am forced to contend with yet another wholly unbelievable scene of Blake Foster beating up...well, anyone, really. Justin escapes and heads back to Storm Blaster, who helpfully supplies him with a new Turbo Morpher. I was promised that those powers were destroyed!

Justin shows up already morphed. The lion monster orders him destroyed. I concur. Justin frees the other Rangers and they all beat up some Quantrons. Justin gets helped and T.J. and learns that his former leader has been demoted to Blue Ranger, a job so menial that a twelve year-old could do it. They manage to take the lion monster down, and Astronema decides to recoup her investment by firing the satellilasers. The Rangers call out the Mega Voyager. It's worth noting that the transformation sequence includes a shot where the rocket goes through a circle formed by one of the other vehicles....it's not exactly "vaguely" erotic. The Rangers blow up the monster with their missile. Well, at least it's over. Wait, it's not?

The Rangers realize that they still have to rescue Lightning Cruiser. They head off to the desert planet. The Rangers show up and beat up some Piranhatrons. Some Piranhatrons go down, as is their nature. Later, the Rangers reconnect, and Andros realizes that the Rangers apparently used to use child soldiers in their war against evil. He seems mildly disturbed by this revelation. Justin gets in Storm Blaster and heads back to Earth. Meanwhile, Justin's dad finally see the error of his workaholic ways by witnessing a neighbor's father-son moment. Now, wait a minute, Justin's dad, the key there is that that man's son is not Justin, which makes a big difference in setting your parently priorities. He decides to take Justin fishing. It's over! My long nightmare is over, and I still have three seasons before I have to deal with the Wild Force Rangers...who will make me long for Justin. Oh God, this blog was a terrible idea. Show over.

Next Time: Astronema learns to to live as the humans, to love as the humans!

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