Power Rangers in Space, Episode 9
Original Airdate: 4-3-1998
Last Time: Shit, what didn't happen last time? Megatank! Phenomenus accidentally creating a nuclear weapon! Of Mice and Men-style blackmail!
At the park, Carlos and Cassie are cleaning up after a youth soccer practice. I thought I was done with these soccer episodes, but apparently they weren't done with me. A kid is bragging about being bitten by a bear, and has the scar to prove. Unfortunately, his mom comes by and wipes the fake scar off of his arm. We follow the kid and his mom home, so we know that he's going to be a guest star in this episode. It's like the producers are daring the viewers at home: Come on assholes, let's see you make fun of a four year-old! Anyway, the kid apparently has a history of crying wolf, so today's lesson is probably going to be to not cry wolf. The kid shows us his chops by telling a police officer walking by that a bank is being robbed. The officer isn't completely hopeless, though, and doesn't bite. Up on high, T.J. and Ashley decide to use the simudeck to summon up some Craterites, who are apparently the mooks from the Japanese footage that the producers didn't want to use. Unfortunately, Andros has decided to fly the Astro Megaship through a lightning storm. Why? Apparently to get some storm data. As for what happens...take a wild fucking guess. Lightning strikes the Megaship and the Craterites come to life. Credits!
On the simudeck, power cuts out, but the Craterites remain. Andros, Cassie and Carlos are on the bridge and notice the Craterites trying to escape, and they go after them. Incidentally, the Craterites look pretty stupid. They wear pink suits, and have these weird face plates that kind of make them look like they're half smiling. You know what, let me put it to you this way. The producers of Power Rangers, who have always been known for putting cost savings first, and allowed the Rangers to be baked into a pizza last season because they didn't want to waste Japanese footage took a look at these guys and said, "You know what, I'd rather film new fight scenes for every episode rather than use the Craterites." The Craterites escape and perform what can only be described as a mass parachute drop over Angel Grove.
Down on Earth, Phenomenus has invented some sort of ear-noculars that will allow himself and Bulk to hear the aliens coming. They see the invading Craterites and freak out. On the plus side, the ear-noculars did seem to work. The little kid from before also sees the Craterites.
The next day, the Rangers decide that it's probably time that they dealt with the Craterites and head down to Earth. Little kid goes next door to get his ride to school, but notices that the house has been taken over by Craterites. He runs away only to realize that everyone in his neighborhood has been replaced with Craterites. The kid runs to a police officer to explain, but then notices that the officer is secretly a Craterite too. I'm not exactly sure how not crying wolf would have prevented this particular turn of events. The kid, apparently being a very slow learner, goes up to his soccer friends to explain the situation that they're in. The other kids don't believe his tales of aliens because of his habitual lying. Although, had they, I don't exactly know that it would've really helped. Little kid is sad.
Elsewhere, Team Phenomenus is preparing to hunt down and capture an alien. Phenomenus has built a new gadget to help them in that endeavor, and, knowing him, it probably runs on smallpox. Carlos and Cassie aren't finding anything, but they see little kid, still moping around. Cassie and Carlos come up and try to cheer him up, and offer to walk him home. They do, and he asks them to come in with him because he doesn't want to be alone. Cassie and Carlos decline, because of the Craterite invasion and all, but encourage the lad to have faith in the Power Rangers.
At a construction site, Ashley, Andros and T.J. are also not finding the Craterites. They're not doing a good job, because everyone at the construction site has already been replaced by Craterites. Ashley hears some noise from a van, and goes to investigate. She sees the real construction workers tied up inside. The Rangers realize that the Craterites can look like people now, and the Craterite-construction workers start heading on over. The Rangers morph into some Japanese footage and fight. It turns out that the creatures who were creating with the sole purpose of getting beaten up by the Power Rangers are easily beaten up by the Power Rangers. Alpha alerts the Rangers to the existence of some Sentai footage showing the Rangers fighting the Craterites at a beach. Another fight happens!
Downtown, a mass of Craterites is having a rally. They're lead by their revolutionary hero, Craterite-with-black-helmet. The Rangers decide to retrieve little kid, and do so, but must have more meaningless confrontations with Craterites on the way. The Rangers realize that there isn't any Sentai footage of them fighting Craterites in a neighborhood, and so retreat into a forest. Cassie, Carlos and T.J. show up in Megatank to save the day. Nothing can stop the mighty Megatank! The revolutionary leader Craterite shows up in the forest and beats up Andros a bit. Carlos, Cassie, and T.J. show up sans Megatank, but with some sort of juiced-up blaster for Andros. Andros: "It's time to send you back to the world of computer simulation....where you belong!" Not exactly the greatest taunt that ever was. He blasts then. The Craterites respond by piling on top of each other, which merges all of the Craterites together to form a giant Craterite. The Astro Megazord is summoned, and punches a hole straight through the giant Craterite, but the monster can regenerate. The Astro Megazord summons a giant blaster, but it too has no effect. The Rangers see the leader on the monster's chest, and shoot him with the giant blaster. That kills the monster dead. The Rangers win!
At the Surf Spot, the Rangers are hanging out with little kid. The officer from earlier shows up and little kid announces that he has learned his lesson. I guess the lesson was to not to cry wolf, although the only people that the little kid tried to tell were either monsters themselves, or five years-old, so even if little kid hadn't ever cried wolf, I fail to see how it would have helped him. Bulk and Skull rush in with Phenomenus' completed invention. Inevitably, Bulk and Skull somehow destroy there own clothing. All present laugh at their misfortune. Show Over!
Next Time: The Rangers learn a lesson in tolerance!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
When Push Comes to Shove
Power Rangers in Space, Episode 8
Original Airdate: 3-27-1998
Last Time: We learned crime doesn't pay, unless you apologize for your crimes, in which case it does.
At the Surf Stop, Adelle comes upon Cassie working on her secret diary in a very public place. Adelle tells Cassie the story of her diary, which she loved until the day that it was found by her brother, who used it against her. But eventually, Adelle grew bigger than her brother and deat him severely. In the middle of a street, Phenomenus is holding an impromptu press conference where he reveals he "has invented the most powerful plutonium fuel ever made." Oh God, that insane old man will finally accomplish what no villain was able to, the complete destruction of Angel Grove. He explains that he has created this incredibly dangerous fuel so that he can send Bulk and Skull into space to meet aliens. A reporter points out that a single crack in the fuel's container will destroy the entire city. Phenomenus is unconcerned, as he will be keeping it in his office on top of skyscraper...in Angel Grove...the city where monsters topple skyscrapers every other day. This plan cannot fail! Phenomenus gesture emphatically to that end and almost immolates the entire city by knocking over the canister. Fortunately, Bulk saves Angel Grove from certain doom. Astronema is at the press conference wearing a black trench coat as a disguise. She fantasizes about knocking over the skyscraper and vaporising the entire town. Credits!
At Angel Grove High, Ashley and Cassie are talking when Cassie realizes that she lost her diary. She realizes that she lost it five seconds after the conversation where Adelle told her about how bad it was when someone else found her diary. Ashley encourages her to calm down, but Cassie explains that there is a picture of her as the Pink Ranger in the diary. They immediately run into two guys. The shorter of the pair, named George has found Cassie's diary and uses it to blackmail Cassie into going on a date with the taller one, whose name in Lenny. Cassie has no choice but to accepts.
On the Megaship, Carlos and T.J. have apparently taken the day off from school and are hanging out with Andros looking at pictures of something called the "Megatank." T.J. asks why they need a new vehicle. Andros explains that their search for Zordon will never be a success if they don't sell enough merchandise, and that's why they need the tank.
At the park, Cassie has met with Lenny and George for the mandatory date. The short guy is talking up Lenny...a lot. Cassie asks why Lenny can't talk for himself, and George explains that Lenny always says something stupid, like asking people to tell him "about the rabbits." Cassie manages to distract George and takes Lenny and runs. Cassie manipulates the man-child into giving the diary back once the date's over. Lenny and Cassie get a balloon, and then Lenny suggests that they head to a restaurant on top of a nearby skyscraper. As you might guess, it's the skyscraper containing the deadly, deadly plutonium fuel who's very existence is likely a war crime. They head up into the tower and look out a window. Suddenly, an elephant monster attacks and starts pushing the tower off of its base. Cassie tries to get Lenny to leave so she can morph and fight, but Lenny won't go. Fortunately, he gets hit in the head with some falling debris and is knocked unconscious.
At the Surf Stop, the rest of the Rangers get called in. They arrive at the skyscraper and start heading towards the elephant monster. Astronema sees them from atop a nearby building and shoots a laser out of her scepter to slow the Rangers down. And yes, Astronema is watching the progress of her plan in person, despite the fact that her plan ends with a huge explosion that will wipe out the entire city. She realizes that she needs to leave the blast area, and teleports out.
At the top of the tower, Cassie is still dealing with the now semi-conscious Lenny. She tries to morph but he wakes up halfway through. She decides to drag him out of the building unmorphed. Outside, the Rangers advance on the elephant monster again, but Ecliptor shows up in the sky and taunts them about the plutonium. Ashley uses this factoid to track down the fuel as well as Cassie and Lenny. The elephant monster attacks the building again and it is listing and seemingly about to collapse. Inside, Cassie and Lenny are trying to escape before the skyscraper falls apart. I'm going to guess that this episode involving nuclear fuel and a building being systematically destroyed would not have been made today. Cassie and Lenny seek shelter in a room labeled "Plutonium Room." Cassie finds a plutonium reactor and is quite alarmed. Then Lenny notices that the reactor is overheating, and he is quite alarmed. Then they notice that the door is locked and they can't get out and....well, it's a plutonium reactor, it's not like you can really outrun a nuclear explosion.
Outside, Andros realizes that only the newly on sale Megatank could possibly allow them access to the higher stories of a skyscraper. Wait...that doesn't sound right. There are many situations where tanks are useful, but climbing up a tower isn't really one of them. Andros and Ashley deploy on the Megatank while T.J. and Carlos stay behind to deal with the monster. Now, you're probably wondering, "How the fuck does a tank get to the top of a skyscraper?" Well, first, despite there being a concern about breaking the very delicate vial of plutonium fuel, the Megatank crashes through a wall. In the plutonium room, Cassie is still unwiling to morph in front of Lenny, and then the reactor starts sparking and leaking gas. You know, that gas is probably lethal on its own. T.J. and Carlos fight the monster unsuccessfully, and Phenomenus shows up, for he has sown the wind, and now must reap the whirlwind. On the lower levels, the Megatank shows off its ability to drive up flights of stairs, which, given the scale of the Megatank, must be huge. Lenny is freaking out about the about-to-explode plutonium reactor when Cassie finally decides that revealing her secret identity is slightly less important than not condemning a man to die in nuclear hellfire. Andros shows up in the Megatank in time to get Cassie out of her dilemma, though, even though driving a tank right next to a dangerously unstable nuclear reactor seems slightly unwise.
However, they still need to stop the reactor from exploding. Fortunately, Megatank is there to save the day. With the giant claw mounted on the front of Megatank, Andros begins to disarm the reactor. Now, you might be thinking, "Wait, using a tank to fix a nuclear reactor? That's just insane." Well, you have a disturbing lack of faith in Megatank! Andros manages to grab the fuel and neutralize it, saving the day, and destroying everyone's preconceived notions of how nuclear physics actually work. Astronema decides to fire the satellilasers regardless. Andros manages to get Megatank clear just before the tower falls. The Astro Megazord happens, and the Rangers destroy the monster. It occurs to me that this entire episode featured an evil mastermind directing the destruction of a skyscraper in an American metropolis. This episode probably doesn't get played a lot in syndication.
At the Surf Spot, the Rangers are playing a game of pool when Lenny and George stop by. Lenny can now speak for himself, and gives back Cassie's diary. They talk for a bit, and I can't help but think that this will end with Lenny running from the locals after he accidentally kills a girl, and then George puts him out of his misery with a shot to the head. Lenny asks Cassie out, and Cassie somehow manages to force Ashley into a double-date scenario involving George. The moral of today's episode is that blackmail, though some view it as underhanded, is a highly effective dating tool and is the foundation of many successful relationships. Show Over!
Next Time: The holodeck malfunctions. I assume this means that the Rangers must face a suddenly corporeal version of Moriarity.
Original Airdate: 3-27-1998
Last Time: We learned crime doesn't pay, unless you apologize for your crimes, in which case it does.
At the Surf Stop, Adelle comes upon Cassie working on her secret diary in a very public place. Adelle tells Cassie the story of her diary, which she loved until the day that it was found by her brother, who used it against her. But eventually, Adelle grew bigger than her brother and deat him severely. In the middle of a street, Phenomenus is holding an impromptu press conference where he reveals he "has invented the most powerful plutonium fuel ever made." Oh God, that insane old man will finally accomplish what no villain was able to, the complete destruction of Angel Grove. He explains that he has created this incredibly dangerous fuel so that he can send Bulk and Skull into space to meet aliens. A reporter points out that a single crack in the fuel's container will destroy the entire city. Phenomenus is unconcerned, as he will be keeping it in his office on top of skyscraper...in Angel Grove...the city where monsters topple skyscrapers every other day. This plan cannot fail! Phenomenus gesture emphatically to that end and almost immolates the entire city by knocking over the canister. Fortunately, Bulk saves Angel Grove from certain doom. Astronema is at the press conference wearing a black trench coat as a disguise. She fantasizes about knocking over the skyscraper and vaporising the entire town. Credits!
At Angel Grove High, Ashley and Cassie are talking when Cassie realizes that she lost her diary. She realizes that she lost it five seconds after the conversation where Adelle told her about how bad it was when someone else found her diary. Ashley encourages her to calm down, but Cassie explains that there is a picture of her as the Pink Ranger in the diary. They immediately run into two guys. The shorter of the pair, named George has found Cassie's diary and uses it to blackmail Cassie into going on a date with the taller one, whose name in Lenny. Cassie has no choice but to accepts.
On the Megaship, Carlos and T.J. have apparently taken the day off from school and are hanging out with Andros looking at pictures of something called the "Megatank." T.J. asks why they need a new vehicle. Andros explains that their search for Zordon will never be a success if they don't sell enough merchandise, and that's why they need the tank.
At the park, Cassie has met with Lenny and George for the mandatory date. The short guy is talking up Lenny...a lot. Cassie asks why Lenny can't talk for himself, and George explains that Lenny always says something stupid, like asking people to tell him "about the rabbits." Cassie manages to distract George and takes Lenny and runs. Cassie manipulates the man-child into giving the diary back once the date's over. Lenny and Cassie get a balloon, and then Lenny suggests that they head to a restaurant on top of a nearby skyscraper. As you might guess, it's the skyscraper containing the deadly, deadly plutonium fuel who's very existence is likely a war crime. They head up into the tower and look out a window. Suddenly, an elephant monster attacks and starts pushing the tower off of its base. Cassie tries to get Lenny to leave so she can morph and fight, but Lenny won't go. Fortunately, he gets hit in the head with some falling debris and is knocked unconscious.
At the Surf Stop, the rest of the Rangers get called in. They arrive at the skyscraper and start heading towards the elephant monster. Astronema sees them from atop a nearby building and shoots a laser out of her scepter to slow the Rangers down. And yes, Astronema is watching the progress of her plan in person, despite the fact that her plan ends with a huge explosion that will wipe out the entire city. She realizes that she needs to leave the blast area, and teleports out.
At the top of the tower, Cassie is still dealing with the now semi-conscious Lenny. She tries to morph but he wakes up halfway through. She decides to drag him out of the building unmorphed. Outside, the Rangers advance on the elephant monster again, but Ecliptor shows up in the sky and taunts them about the plutonium. Ashley uses this factoid to track down the fuel as well as Cassie and Lenny. The elephant monster attacks the building again and it is listing and seemingly about to collapse. Inside, Cassie and Lenny are trying to escape before the skyscraper falls apart. I'm going to guess that this episode involving nuclear fuel and a building being systematically destroyed would not have been made today. Cassie and Lenny seek shelter in a room labeled "Plutonium Room." Cassie finds a plutonium reactor and is quite alarmed. Then Lenny notices that the reactor is overheating, and he is quite alarmed. Then they notice that the door is locked and they can't get out and....well, it's a plutonium reactor, it's not like you can really outrun a nuclear explosion.
Outside, Andros realizes that only the newly on sale Megatank could possibly allow them access to the higher stories of a skyscraper. Wait...that doesn't sound right. There are many situations where tanks are useful, but climbing up a tower isn't really one of them. Andros and Ashley deploy on the Megatank while T.J. and Carlos stay behind to deal with the monster. Now, you're probably wondering, "How the fuck does a tank get to the top of a skyscraper?" Well, first, despite there being a concern about breaking the very delicate vial of plutonium fuel, the Megatank crashes through a wall. In the plutonium room, Cassie is still unwiling to morph in front of Lenny, and then the reactor starts sparking and leaking gas. You know, that gas is probably lethal on its own. T.J. and Carlos fight the monster unsuccessfully, and Phenomenus shows up, for he has sown the wind, and now must reap the whirlwind. On the lower levels, the Megatank shows off its ability to drive up flights of stairs, which, given the scale of the Megatank, must be huge. Lenny is freaking out about the about-to-explode plutonium reactor when Cassie finally decides that revealing her secret identity is slightly less important than not condemning a man to die in nuclear hellfire. Andros shows up in the Megatank in time to get Cassie out of her dilemma, though, even though driving a tank right next to a dangerously unstable nuclear reactor seems slightly unwise.
However, they still need to stop the reactor from exploding. Fortunately, Megatank is there to save the day. With the giant claw mounted on the front of Megatank, Andros begins to disarm the reactor. Now, you might be thinking, "Wait, using a tank to fix a nuclear reactor? That's just insane." Well, you have a disturbing lack of faith in Megatank! Andros manages to grab the fuel and neutralize it, saving the day, and destroying everyone's preconceived notions of how nuclear physics actually work. Astronema decides to fire the satellilasers regardless. Andros manages to get Megatank clear just before the tower falls. The Astro Megazord happens, and the Rangers destroy the monster. It occurs to me that this entire episode featured an evil mastermind directing the destruction of a skyscraper in an American metropolis. This episode probably doesn't get played a lot in syndication.
At the Surf Spot, the Rangers are playing a game of pool when Lenny and George stop by. Lenny can now speak for himself, and gives back Cassie's diary. They talk for a bit, and I can't help but think that this will end with Lenny running from the locals after he accidentally kills a girl, and then George puts him out of his misery with a shot to the head. Lenny asks Cassie out, and Cassie somehow manages to force Ashley into a double-date scenario involving George. The moral of today's episode is that blackmail, though some view it as underhanded, is a highly effective dating tool and is the foundation of many successful relationships. Show Over!
Next Time: The holodeck malfunctions. I assume this means that the Rangers must face a suddenly corporeal version of Moriarity.
A Ranger Among Thieves
Power Rangers in Space, Episode 7
Original Airdate: 3-20-1997
Last Time: Not a whole lot happened!
In the simudeck, the Rangers are burning through some otherwise unusable Japanese footage. They beat the unnamed virtual monster, but now have to go back to Earth to take math midterms. Oh, yes, they're still in high school. You'd think the high school would be suspicious that the Rangers keep disappearing for days on end, but apparently not. Anyway, Andros isn't actually in high school, so he goes off to hang out in Angel Grove.
Up in the Dark Fortress, there is a new monster, Voltagehog. Astronema sends him out to destroy the Rangers. Credits!
At the Surf Shop, Adelle, the owner, is explaining that someone stole her van. Who did it? Well, the show wants to dispel that mystery right quick and introduces us to a group of three teenage thieves. Andros is nearby, and the girl-thief notices him trying to bite into a banana without peeling it. Because he's an alien and all. She suggests he peel it and he does. He gives the girl-thief some advice about pool. This leads the leader of the thieves to challenge Andros that he can't make a shot. Andros succeeds. The leader-thief is unimpressed.
Elsewhere, Bulk, Skull, and Phenomenus are trying to capture a rabbit that Phenomeus thinks is an alien. They're hiding in trash cans while they wait. People throw trash in the trash cans. Bulk and Skull have clearly lost all faith in the old man, and seem to be just hanging around because of their devotion to helping the elderly. Outside the Surf Shop, Andros finds the team of thieves breaking into a car...in broad daylight....in front of a reasonably croweded restaurant. They aren't very good thieves. Andros assumes that they've locked themselves out of their car. Andros uses his telekinesis to get them into the car. Andros is a fucking moron. The leader of thieves immediately sees the potential in having a member of the group that can move things with his mind and is easily manipulated and offers to hang out with Andros. Andros agrees because he is a naive about this sort of thing for reasons that aren't exactly clear. I guess there are no thieves in space.
The thieves and Andros are driving in the stolen car, and the leader offers Andros some gum. He swallows it. The other thieves correct him and teach the otherworlder to blow bubbles. Meanwhile, Zordon is having his life-energy drained. It's not a scene in the episode or anything, but it is happening. Andros, being a cosmic rube of the highest order, blows a bubble to big and it pops. The leader-thied stops the car, and they see another thief take an old lady's purse. Andros doesn't go for that and takes back the purse for the old woman. Andros heads back to car and announces, "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a thief." The leader-thief realizes that he may have made an error in judgment in bringing Andros along.
Back at the bunny stakeout, a rabbit finally shows up and Phenomenus slowly goes up to him, but then turns around to shush Bulk and Skull. In the interval, Voltagehog shows up and shoos off the rabbit. Phenomenus turns around and feels vindicated. Man, the worst thing that Astronema did this episode was to put into motion a chain of events that fed the old man's delirium. Votagehog starts draining power from some nearby transformers as the comic trio leaves.
In the stolen car, Andros sees the power being drained and gets out of the vehicle to investigate. He finds the monster, morphs, and drives Voltagehog off. Andros de-morphs and catches up with the thieves. He notices that they are unloading things out of Adelle's stolen van. Andros also notices that the lot he is in is full of stolen vehicles. He finally puts it together and realizes that they're thieves. Andros decides to return all of the cars to their owners, but the leader-thief will have none of that. Voltagehog also shows up, because I guess there are some power lines nearby. The monster sees leader-thief and starts chasing him. The other thieves notice and manage to put themselves in the line of fire. Andros shows up and starts fighting the monster. Leader-thief runs away, but the other two stay and decide to help Andros. They knock the monster and then help Andros run away. Andros immediately ditches them so he can morph, and fights the monster some more. Ecliptor also shows up, just because. Andros' fight with Ecliptor goes about as well as last time, which is to say that Ecliptor evilly laughs a lot and kicks Andros' ass, culminating in Ecliptor breaking Andros' drill-sword and backhand-slapping him into a muddy pit. Eclpitor walks over and pushes Andros' head into the muddy water with his foot. You don't fuck with Ecliptor.
The other Rangers show up to try to help their leader, and Ecliptor uses his eye-blasts to knock them all down. Fortunately, the spirit of merchandising appears to the Rangers and informs them to combine four of their power weapons (everyone's except Andros) and blast Ecliptor with the resulting rifle-type thing. Ecliptor gets nailed and has to retreat. The Rangers wi-oh, wait, the other monster. They manage to kill him with the new toy, too. Astronema, however, realizes that sales of the Astro Megazord aren't all they could be, and orders the satellilaser fired to grow the monster, and, with any luck, the brand. The Rangers call on the Astro Megazord and continue their new, overly brutal methods of killing monsters by throwing their sword at Voltagehog, and then igniting it from a distance. Voltagehog dies in incredible pain.
Later, leader-thief is trying to steal a Jeep Wrangler. The cops catch him, because he must learn the wages of sin. At the Surf Stop, or Shop, or Spot, or whatever the name of the not-juice bar is, Andros wants to tell Adelle about her stolen van, but is pre-empted by the confession of the other two thieves. Adelle lauds them for their courage, and hires them as deliverymen. Um..., so I guess the moral of today's episode is that if you need a job, commit a crime that is similar to the job you want, and then confess to the person you wronged. I mean, it's one thing to let the repentant off scot-free, but to actively reward them? That seems a bit much.
On the Dark Fortress, Astronema is watching the mildly depressing antics of Bulk, Skull and Phenomenus. The old man is showing off a vial of a highly potent explosive that he made. I think Phenomenus needs to be put in an assisted-living facility before he destroys all mankind. Astronema schemes to steal the explosive....next episode! To Be Continued!
Next Time: Blackmail for fun and profit!
Original Airdate: 3-20-1997
Last Time: Not a whole lot happened!
In the simudeck, the Rangers are burning through some otherwise unusable Japanese footage. They beat the unnamed virtual monster, but now have to go back to Earth to take math midterms. Oh, yes, they're still in high school. You'd think the high school would be suspicious that the Rangers keep disappearing for days on end, but apparently not. Anyway, Andros isn't actually in high school, so he goes off to hang out in Angel Grove.
Up in the Dark Fortress, there is a new monster, Voltagehog. Astronema sends him out to destroy the Rangers. Credits!
At the Surf Shop, Adelle, the owner, is explaining that someone stole her van. Who did it? Well, the show wants to dispel that mystery right quick and introduces us to a group of three teenage thieves. Andros is nearby, and the girl-thief notices him trying to bite into a banana without peeling it. Because he's an alien and all. She suggests he peel it and he does. He gives the girl-thief some advice about pool. This leads the leader of the thieves to challenge Andros that he can't make a shot. Andros succeeds. The leader-thief is unimpressed.
Elsewhere, Bulk, Skull, and Phenomenus are trying to capture a rabbit that Phenomeus thinks is an alien. They're hiding in trash cans while they wait. People throw trash in the trash cans. Bulk and Skull have clearly lost all faith in the old man, and seem to be just hanging around because of their devotion to helping the elderly. Outside the Surf Shop, Andros finds the team of thieves breaking into a car...in broad daylight....in front of a reasonably croweded restaurant. They aren't very good thieves. Andros assumes that they've locked themselves out of their car. Andros uses his telekinesis to get them into the car. Andros is a fucking moron. The leader of thieves immediately sees the potential in having a member of the group that can move things with his mind and is easily manipulated and offers to hang out with Andros. Andros agrees because he is a naive about this sort of thing for reasons that aren't exactly clear. I guess there are no thieves in space.
The thieves and Andros are driving in the stolen car, and the leader offers Andros some gum. He swallows it. The other thieves correct him and teach the otherworlder to blow bubbles. Meanwhile, Zordon is having his life-energy drained. It's not a scene in the episode or anything, but it is happening. Andros, being a cosmic rube of the highest order, blows a bubble to big and it pops. The leader-thied stops the car, and they see another thief take an old lady's purse. Andros doesn't go for that and takes back the purse for the old woman. Andros heads back to car and announces, "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a thief." The leader-thief realizes that he may have made an error in judgment in bringing Andros along.
Back at the bunny stakeout, a rabbit finally shows up and Phenomenus slowly goes up to him, but then turns around to shush Bulk and Skull. In the interval, Voltagehog shows up and shoos off the rabbit. Phenomenus turns around and feels vindicated. Man, the worst thing that Astronema did this episode was to put into motion a chain of events that fed the old man's delirium. Votagehog starts draining power from some nearby transformers as the comic trio leaves.
In the stolen car, Andros sees the power being drained and gets out of the vehicle to investigate. He finds the monster, morphs, and drives Voltagehog off. Andros de-morphs and catches up with the thieves. He notices that they are unloading things out of Adelle's stolen van. Andros also notices that the lot he is in is full of stolen vehicles. He finally puts it together and realizes that they're thieves. Andros decides to return all of the cars to their owners, but the leader-thief will have none of that. Voltagehog also shows up, because I guess there are some power lines nearby. The monster sees leader-thief and starts chasing him. The other thieves notice and manage to put themselves in the line of fire. Andros shows up and starts fighting the monster. Leader-thief runs away, but the other two stay and decide to help Andros. They knock the monster and then help Andros run away. Andros immediately ditches them so he can morph, and fights the monster some more. Ecliptor also shows up, just because. Andros' fight with Ecliptor goes about as well as last time, which is to say that Ecliptor evilly laughs a lot and kicks Andros' ass, culminating in Ecliptor breaking Andros' drill-sword and backhand-slapping him into a muddy pit. Eclpitor walks over and pushes Andros' head into the muddy water with his foot. You don't fuck with Ecliptor.
The other Rangers show up to try to help their leader, and Ecliptor uses his eye-blasts to knock them all down. Fortunately, the spirit of merchandising appears to the Rangers and informs them to combine four of their power weapons (everyone's except Andros) and blast Ecliptor with the resulting rifle-type thing. Ecliptor gets nailed and has to retreat. The Rangers wi-oh, wait, the other monster. They manage to kill him with the new toy, too. Astronema, however, realizes that sales of the Astro Megazord aren't all they could be, and orders the satellilaser fired to grow the monster, and, with any luck, the brand. The Rangers call on the Astro Megazord and continue their new, overly brutal methods of killing monsters by throwing their sword at Voltagehog, and then igniting it from a distance. Voltagehog dies in incredible pain.
Later, leader-thief is trying to steal a Jeep Wrangler. The cops catch him, because he must learn the wages of sin. At the Surf Stop, or Shop, or Spot, or whatever the name of the not-juice bar is, Andros wants to tell Adelle about her stolen van, but is pre-empted by the confession of the other two thieves. Adelle lauds them for their courage, and hires them as deliverymen. Um..., so I guess the moral of today's episode is that if you need a job, commit a crime that is similar to the job you want, and then confess to the person you wronged. I mean, it's one thing to let the repentant off scot-free, but to actively reward them? That seems a bit much.
On the Dark Fortress, Astronema is watching the mildly depressing antics of Bulk, Skull and Phenomenus. The old man is showing off a vial of a highly potent explosive that he made. I think Phenomenus needs to be put in an assisted-living facility before he destroys all mankind. Astronema schemes to steal the explosive....next episode! To Be Continued!
Next Time: Blackmail for fun and profit!
Satellite Search
Power Rangers in Space, Episode 6
Original Airdate: 3-13-1998
Last Time: Andros learned a lesson about teamwork. Meanwhile, I waited for the Bulls to sign someone in free agency.
In space, Elgar shoots down a satellite. It heads towards a planet that looks exactly like Jupiter, but, which will learn later, is not Jupiter. Elgar calls into Astronema to tell her the good news. She responds by demanding that he make sure because, "the satellite knows too much." On the Megaship, the commander of NASADA calls into to get the Rangers help. Seeing as they took a space shuttle and got a launch facility blown up, to say nothing of the NASADA engineers who were in that shuttle, the Rangers kind of owe him. Credits!
Back from the credits, the commander explains that a NASADA probe, the one that Elgar shot down, crashed on a planet called Kalderon. Wait, NASADA has the resources and technology to fly interstellar probes now? I'm kind of confused, because I'd always assumed that the world of the Power Rangers was basically like our world, but NASADA seems a bit ahead of the game. Anyway, he asks the Rangers to retrieve the information because NASADA has no spacecraft to make the trip...because, you know, the Rangers to NASADA's shuttle. Carlos, tapping into his inner clairvoyant, intuits that Astronema shot down the satellite because it saw something she didn't want exposed. They set a course for Kalderon.
It turns out that Kalderon is kind of an odd place, because it has clear skies, yet a volcano is also seen exploding...also, some suspiciously Earth-like shrubs. Elgar is laying back and letting the Quantrons find the satellite. Astronema calls into to threaten Elgar a bit and inform him that the Rangers are coming. She also sends some fighters after the Megaship. This leads to a scene where the age-old question, "What if the Rangers and Star Trek were, like, the same thing," is answered. It's not a pleasant answer...rather depressing and underwhelming, in actuality. Eventually the Rangers are able to blow the fighters and make it to Kalderon, planet of love.
In the scrublands surrounding Los Angeles, I mean, the totally alien planet Kalderon, the Rangers find out that their equipment doesn't work because of the heat. Alpha calls in to warn them about the volcano. An earthquake happens to drive the point home. Elgar and the Quantrons show up and there is a perfunctory first act fight scene. After a good beating, Elgar retreats, and a loud growl is heard. Elgar bumps into Astronema, and she threatens to feed him to Klawhammer, the monster of the week. The Rangers keep searching, and Ashley finds an animal skeleton and a piece of the satellite. Progress! The team soon finds the rest of the satellite and are able to retrieve the information that is apparently stored of four CD-ROMs. Astronema immediately shows up with some Quantrons and demands the discs. The Rangers morph and fight some more Quantrons. The Quantrons get beaten up, but the important thing here is that Astronema momentarily loses her locket, as is oddly possessive of it. Oh, won't you try and guess what twist is only about twenty episodes away? Astronema blasts the Rangers with her staff and manages to capture everyone except Andros....and then she blasts him too and takes the discs.
Then, Astronema taps into her inner Bond villain, and orders them chained up and left for Klawhammer to eat. Andros is able to telekinetically take the discs from Elgar before the villains leave, though. And Astronema teleports out, confident that nothing could possibly save the Rangers now. Klawhammer comes out, and he's a giant lobster-man, which is about what you'd expect from a guy named Klawhammer. On the Megaship, Alpha and DECA decide to do a visual search for the Rangers. They find the Rangers about to eaten by Klawhammer, but there's nothing they can do...or can they? Alpha and DECA manage to form the Astro Megazord by themselves, making the Rangers just one more example of blue-collar jobs lost to automation. The Astro Megazord shows up to fight Klawhammer, and Andros is very confused. The machines, however, prove to be shitty megazord pilots, and end up dangling on the edge of the caldera of the volcano. Andros uses his telekinesis some more to summon his blaster and break the chains. Andros grabs the discs, and the Rangers finally get to the Astro Megazord. The Rangers successfully fight back the only way they know how, dirtily, they kick Klawhammer in the crotch, grab his antennae and head-butt him. They eventually just toss him into the volcano. The Rangers aren't fucking around today.
Up on the Dark Fortress, Astronema and Elgar realize that they lost the discs. She sends Elgar to play with something called "Scrudley," something so awful that it chills the surronding Quantrons to their mechanical bones. On the Megaship, the Rangers have managed to save NASADA's scientific data, but found nothing else. The Rangers are bummed until T.J. suggests that they head to simudeck. Show Over! So, nothing happened and nothing was learned....awesome.
Next Time: The Rangers decide to go back to high school!
Original Airdate: 3-13-1998
Last Time: Andros learned a lesson about teamwork. Meanwhile, I waited for the Bulls to sign someone in free agency.
In space, Elgar shoots down a satellite. It heads towards a planet that looks exactly like Jupiter, but, which will learn later, is not Jupiter. Elgar calls into Astronema to tell her the good news. She responds by demanding that he make sure because, "the satellite knows too much." On the Megaship, the commander of NASADA calls into to get the Rangers help. Seeing as they took a space shuttle and got a launch facility blown up, to say nothing of the NASADA engineers who were in that shuttle, the Rangers kind of owe him. Credits!
Back from the credits, the commander explains that a NASADA probe, the one that Elgar shot down, crashed on a planet called Kalderon. Wait, NASADA has the resources and technology to fly interstellar probes now? I'm kind of confused, because I'd always assumed that the world of the Power Rangers was basically like our world, but NASADA seems a bit ahead of the game. Anyway, he asks the Rangers to retrieve the information because NASADA has no spacecraft to make the trip...because, you know, the Rangers to NASADA's shuttle. Carlos, tapping into his inner clairvoyant, intuits that Astronema shot down the satellite because it saw something she didn't want exposed. They set a course for Kalderon.
It turns out that Kalderon is kind of an odd place, because it has clear skies, yet a volcano is also seen exploding...also, some suspiciously Earth-like shrubs. Elgar is laying back and letting the Quantrons find the satellite. Astronema calls into to threaten Elgar a bit and inform him that the Rangers are coming. She also sends some fighters after the Megaship. This leads to a scene where the age-old question, "What if the Rangers and Star Trek were, like, the same thing," is answered. It's not a pleasant answer...rather depressing and underwhelming, in actuality. Eventually the Rangers are able to blow the fighters and make it to Kalderon, planet of love.
In the scrublands surrounding Los Angeles, I mean, the totally alien planet Kalderon, the Rangers find out that their equipment doesn't work because of the heat. Alpha calls in to warn them about the volcano. An earthquake happens to drive the point home. Elgar and the Quantrons show up and there is a perfunctory first act fight scene. After a good beating, Elgar retreats, and a loud growl is heard. Elgar bumps into Astronema, and she threatens to feed him to Klawhammer, the monster of the week. The Rangers keep searching, and Ashley finds an animal skeleton and a piece of the satellite. Progress! The team soon finds the rest of the satellite and are able to retrieve the information that is apparently stored of four CD-ROMs. Astronema immediately shows up with some Quantrons and demands the discs. The Rangers morph and fight some more Quantrons. The Quantrons get beaten up, but the important thing here is that Astronema momentarily loses her locket, as is oddly possessive of it. Oh, won't you try and guess what twist is only about twenty episodes away? Astronema blasts the Rangers with her staff and manages to capture everyone except Andros....and then she blasts him too and takes the discs.
Then, Astronema taps into her inner Bond villain, and orders them chained up and left for Klawhammer to eat. Andros is able to telekinetically take the discs from Elgar before the villains leave, though. And Astronema teleports out, confident that nothing could possibly save the Rangers now. Klawhammer comes out, and he's a giant lobster-man, which is about what you'd expect from a guy named Klawhammer. On the Megaship, Alpha and DECA decide to do a visual search for the Rangers. They find the Rangers about to eaten by Klawhammer, but there's nothing they can do...or can they? Alpha and DECA manage to form the Astro Megazord by themselves, making the Rangers just one more example of blue-collar jobs lost to automation. The Astro Megazord shows up to fight Klawhammer, and Andros is very confused. The machines, however, prove to be shitty megazord pilots, and end up dangling on the edge of the caldera of the volcano. Andros uses his telekinesis some more to summon his blaster and break the chains. Andros grabs the discs, and the Rangers finally get to the Astro Megazord. The Rangers successfully fight back the only way they know how, dirtily, they kick Klawhammer in the crotch, grab his antennae and head-butt him. They eventually just toss him into the volcano. The Rangers aren't fucking around today.
Up on the Dark Fortress, Astronema and Elgar realize that they lost the discs. She sends Elgar to play with something called "Scrudley," something so awful that it chills the surronding Quantrons to their mechanical bones. On the Megaship, the Rangers have managed to save NASADA's scientific data, but found nothing else. The Rangers are bummed until T.J. suggests that they head to simudeck. Show Over! So, nothing happened and nothing was learned....awesome.
Next Time: The Rangers decide to go back to high school!
Never Stop Searching
Power Rangers in Space, Episode 5
Original Airdate: 3-6-1998
Last Time: Nothing happened! Do you hear me? Nothing! In fact, I deny that there was an episode last time, it was just a blank screen for twenty-two minutes.
Up on the Megaship, Carlos is fixing a Galaxy Glider when the rest of the team comes in, they bid him a good night. On the bridge, Andros is scanning for life. Apparently they've found an entire galaxy devoid of all life. Oh, come on, the show has giant robots fighting at the end of every episode, you can't actually expect them to understand scales of distance in outer space! Andros takes a look at his locket of plot significance, and plays some sort of video crystal he keeps inside. It shows a little Andros playing with a girl, both of whom apparently have telekinesis. Carlos happens by and sees the scene. Anyway, as the scene continues, lil' Andros gets separated from the other girl, who promptly gets kidnapped. Oddly enough, for that bit, the camera appears to take on the POV of the kidnapper, so there's no video evidence of who did. We learn the girl's name is Karone, and the video ends. Andros figures that if he can figure out who kidnapped his sister, Karone, then he can find her. Andros vows to never stop searching, and we have the titular line. Credits!
Later, Carlos is sleeping on the Megaship. Hey, didn't the Rangers have normal lives before they went up into space? Are their parents concerned that their kids have been missing for the past several weeks? Anyway, Carlos is thinking about what he saw on the bridge. Andros is about to go to bed when DECA tells him that a lifeform has been detected on KO-35, Andros' own home planet. Andros' assumes it's Karone, who wouldn't know that no one lives on KO-35 anymore.
On Earth, the producers remember that they're still paying the actors who play Bulk and Skull. Phenomenus is driving his van and explaining that there are alien on Earth, aliens who come as seedlings that grow ever larger....until the day they attack! This information freaks Bulk the hell out. Phenomenus has found a alien and stops the van. The alien is a watermelon. I think this storyline is about coming to grips with a elderly loved one who has dementia. Phenomenus shakes the watermelon to try to get the aliens to come out. Christ, he's just kind of a depressing character. I mean, Bulk and Skull are comic bumblers, but Phenomenus? The old guy's just kind of weird and mildly off-putting and completely fucking nuts. Inevitably, Bulk gets covered with watermelon. No one laughs because Bulk and Skull realize that they're traveling around with a man who has completely lost his mind.
Back in space, the Megaship arrives at KO-35. Everyone else is sleeping, and Andros decides to go in alone. KO-35 turns out to be some abandoned industrial park that looks suspiciously Japanese. Andros starts calling out for Karone. In the Dark Fortress, Astronema is sleeping. Incidentally, those with half a brain will have already figured out the shocking twist that will come about a dozen or so episodes from now. Ecliptor watches her while she sleeps. It's also mildly off-puting. Ecliptor then sees Andros on KO-35 and reveals the he was involved in the planet's destruction...or desertion...or the loss of jobs that led to depopulation or whatever happened to KO-35. Up on the Megaship, the other Rangers have breakfast! Excitement! Carlos wonders where Andros is. He also notices that Andros' Galaxy Glider is missing. DECA explains that he's on KO-35. Ashley wonders why he'd go there. Carlos, being the insensitive prick that he is, tells everyone about Andros' sister being kidnapped. Carlos decides to go check on him, but doesn't want the other Rangers to go, because he wants to give Andros "some space." Probably should have thought of that before telling his secrets to everybody, eh, Carlos?
On KO-35, Andros is still wandering around, and Ecliptor shows up. They trade insults and then decide to fight. Ecliptor beats Andros up for a bit, and uses some truly terrible puns. This climaxes when Ecliptor separates his head from his body and asks, "Look who's ahead of the game now!" Carlos shows up just in time to prevent Andros from getting stabbed to death, although he appears by sort of emerging from out nowhere in a weird visual effect that probably made a lot more sense in the Japanese version, where the show took place in virtual reality, I think. Ecliptor blasts Carlos with a giant wire-frame Ecliptor head, and Carlos goes down. Andros gets Carlos out of there, but promises to return to fight Ecliptor some more....because it had been going so well.
Up in the Megaship sickbay, Andros is angsting about getting Carlos beaten into a coma. The other Rangers give some speech about teamwork or helping or something. Andros leaves and angst some more, flashing back to Carlos getting knocked out by Ecliptor's blast. That memory compels him to try and fight Ecliptor alone again. He goes back to KO-35 and calls out Ecliptor. Ecliptor's giant foot almost crushes him. Yeah, he's boned. Andros, being the sport he is, tries to beat Giant Ecliptor with his drill-sword. It doesn't go so well. On the Megaship, the other Rangers are trying to figure out where Andros is. They quickly realize that he went off to fight Ecliptor alone, completely ignoring their speech about whatever the lesson of today's episode was. T.J., Cassie and Ashley show up to save Andros, and the three carry him to safety. Carlos also staggers in. The assembled time tries to shoot Ecliptor with their blasters. It fails. Carlos, looking at the clock and realizing that they don't have time for the Astro Megazord formation sequence, orders the Megaship to fire its lasers from orbit. That manages to stop Ecliptor, but Andros angsts some more about the whole thing being a trap.
In space, Andros apologizes to Carlos for getting him blasted. Carlos explains that he knows about Andros' sister,,,as do the other Rangers, thanks to Carlos. He explains that the other Rangers can help Andros find his sister, because that's "What being a Ranger is all about." What? No, it's not! Anyway, something about teamwork and....Show Over!
Next Time: The Rangers learn the true meaning of the word "failure."
Original Airdate: 3-6-1998
Last Time: Nothing happened! Do you hear me? Nothing! In fact, I deny that there was an episode last time, it was just a blank screen for twenty-two minutes.
Up on the Megaship, Carlos is fixing a Galaxy Glider when the rest of the team comes in, they bid him a good night. On the bridge, Andros is scanning for life. Apparently they've found an entire galaxy devoid of all life. Oh, come on, the show has giant robots fighting at the end of every episode, you can't actually expect them to understand scales of distance in outer space! Andros takes a look at his locket of plot significance, and plays some sort of video crystal he keeps inside. It shows a little Andros playing with a girl, both of whom apparently have telekinesis. Carlos happens by and sees the scene. Anyway, as the scene continues, lil' Andros gets separated from the other girl, who promptly gets kidnapped. Oddly enough, for that bit, the camera appears to take on the POV of the kidnapper, so there's no video evidence of who did. We learn the girl's name is Karone, and the video ends. Andros figures that if he can figure out who kidnapped his sister, Karone, then he can find her. Andros vows to never stop searching, and we have the titular line. Credits!
Later, Carlos is sleeping on the Megaship. Hey, didn't the Rangers have normal lives before they went up into space? Are their parents concerned that their kids have been missing for the past several weeks? Anyway, Carlos is thinking about what he saw on the bridge. Andros is about to go to bed when DECA tells him that a lifeform has been detected on KO-35, Andros' own home planet. Andros' assumes it's Karone, who wouldn't know that no one lives on KO-35 anymore.
On Earth, the producers remember that they're still paying the actors who play Bulk and Skull. Phenomenus is driving his van and explaining that there are alien on Earth, aliens who come as seedlings that grow ever larger....until the day they attack! This information freaks Bulk the hell out. Phenomenus has found a alien and stops the van. The alien is a watermelon. I think this storyline is about coming to grips with a elderly loved one who has dementia. Phenomenus shakes the watermelon to try to get the aliens to come out. Christ, he's just kind of a depressing character. I mean, Bulk and Skull are comic bumblers, but Phenomenus? The old guy's just kind of weird and mildly off-putting and completely fucking nuts. Inevitably, Bulk gets covered with watermelon. No one laughs because Bulk and Skull realize that they're traveling around with a man who has completely lost his mind.
Back in space, the Megaship arrives at KO-35. Everyone else is sleeping, and Andros decides to go in alone. KO-35 turns out to be some abandoned industrial park that looks suspiciously Japanese. Andros starts calling out for Karone. In the Dark Fortress, Astronema is sleeping. Incidentally, those with half a brain will have already figured out the shocking twist that will come about a dozen or so episodes from now. Ecliptor watches her while she sleeps. It's also mildly off-puting. Ecliptor then sees Andros on KO-35 and reveals the he was involved in the planet's destruction...or desertion...or the loss of jobs that led to depopulation or whatever happened to KO-35. Up on the Megaship, the other Rangers have breakfast! Excitement! Carlos wonders where Andros is. He also notices that Andros' Galaxy Glider is missing. DECA explains that he's on KO-35. Ashley wonders why he'd go there. Carlos, being the insensitive prick that he is, tells everyone about Andros' sister being kidnapped. Carlos decides to go check on him, but doesn't want the other Rangers to go, because he wants to give Andros "some space." Probably should have thought of that before telling his secrets to everybody, eh, Carlos?
On KO-35, Andros is still wandering around, and Ecliptor shows up. They trade insults and then decide to fight. Ecliptor beats Andros up for a bit, and uses some truly terrible puns. This climaxes when Ecliptor separates his head from his body and asks, "Look who's ahead of the game now!" Carlos shows up just in time to prevent Andros from getting stabbed to death, although he appears by sort of emerging from out nowhere in a weird visual effect that probably made a lot more sense in the Japanese version, where the show took place in virtual reality, I think. Ecliptor blasts Carlos with a giant wire-frame Ecliptor head, and Carlos goes down. Andros gets Carlos out of there, but promises to return to fight Ecliptor some more....because it had been going so well.
Up in the Megaship sickbay, Andros is angsting about getting Carlos beaten into a coma. The other Rangers give some speech about teamwork or helping or something. Andros leaves and angst some more, flashing back to Carlos getting knocked out by Ecliptor's blast. That memory compels him to try and fight Ecliptor alone again. He goes back to KO-35 and calls out Ecliptor. Ecliptor's giant foot almost crushes him. Yeah, he's boned. Andros, being the sport he is, tries to beat Giant Ecliptor with his drill-sword. It doesn't go so well. On the Megaship, the other Rangers are trying to figure out where Andros is. They quickly realize that he went off to fight Ecliptor alone, completely ignoring their speech about whatever the lesson of today's episode was. T.J., Cassie and Ashley show up to save Andros, and the three carry him to safety. Carlos also staggers in. The assembled time tries to shoot Ecliptor with their blasters. It fails. Carlos, looking at the clock and realizing that they don't have time for the Astro Megazord formation sequence, orders the Megaship to fire its lasers from orbit. That manages to stop Ecliptor, but Andros angsts some more about the whole thing being a trap.
In space, Andros apologizes to Carlos for getting him blasted. Carlos explains that he knows about Andros' sister,,,as do the other Rangers, thanks to Carlos. He explains that the other Rangers can help Andros find his sister, because that's "What being a Ranger is all about." What? No, it's not! Anyway, something about teamwork and....Show Over!
Next Time: The Rangers learn the true meaning of the word "failure."
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Shell Shocked
Power Rangers in Space, Episode 4
Original Airdate: 2-27-1998
Last Time: The Rangers headed back to Earth and...well, didn't really accomplish that much, actually.
Okay, this one is going to take a bit of explaining. The late-90s were ebb tide for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Their cartoon had been cancelled and their toys weren't selling. At the time, the television rights to the Turtles could be had for cheap. Unsurprisingly, they were purchased by Saban, who used the rights to produce a live-action TMNT series that got mercifully killed after one season. It had all of the hallmarks of a typical Saban adaptation, cheap production values and rather distant relationship to its source material. Of course, on most Saban shows, the footage was from Japan, and there weren't too many American fans around to complain. In this case....well, let's just say the introduction of a fifth, female Ninja Turtle did not go well. Anyway, Saban being the craven opportunist that he is, decided to have the TMNT and the Power Rangers crossover, and that brings us to today's episode.
In New York, Astronema introduces herself to the Turtles. Venus De Milo, the female Ninja Turtle whose very existence rankles Turtles fans to this day, recognizes her. (Note: To give you an idea of how lazy the live-action Turtles series was, the Turtles are named after Italian Renaissance painters. Venus De Milo was the name of the statue, not the artist. Also, it wasn't made during the Renaissance, nor was it from Italy.) Anyway, Astronema informs the Rangers that they'll be destroying the Power Rangers. In a bizarrely metatextual twist, Raphael complains that the Rangers are just pretend. This crossover sucks too much already, why add that sort of continuity snarl to it? Astronema turns them evil. Credits!
Up in the Megaship, Andros is explaining how the Galaxy Gliders work. They'll be using them to get to and from Earth. Suddenly, a monster attacks Angel Grove, and the Rangers get to it. Unfortunately, the rules of Power Rangers clearly state the Rangers are required to lose any fight between them and a monster in the first half of a one-part episode. And so the Rangers, being the rule-followers that they are, lose. Fortunately, the Turtles teleport in to save the day. The Rangers recognize them. Venus is there, and she is awful. She even speaks in this vaguely Asian accent that makes her sound kind of offensive, really. The Turtles beat the monster. The two teams introduce themselves to each other, and learn that the othe team does, in fact, exist in the same reality. Andros is suspicious. These are not the Turtles he grew up watching in the cartoon series! Also, he points out the suspiciously good timing the Turtles had. The Turtles ask to use the Rangers' spaceship to get back to New York. Andros wants no part of these Faux-Turtles, but the other Rangers disagree and T.J. agrees to give them a lift. You know T.J., decision-making like this is why you're no longer leader of the Power Rangers.
On the ship, Ashley and Carlos are busy telling the Rangers as many technical details and secrets as they possibly can. Andros still doesn't think this is a good idea, and watches as Cassie gives the Turtles a tour of the engine room. DECA informs Andros that someone is messing with the central computer control. Andros rushes off, feeling a satisfying sense of vindication. The Turtles cut DECA's power and Andros demands to know what the hell is going on. The Turtles have turned DECA evil. The jig is up, and Andros fights off the Turtles. Raphael and Venus take control of the bridge, as well. Astronema and some Quantrons beam aboard. The Rangers flee from the advancing Quantrons, and Astronema takes command of the Megaship.
Later, Astronema reports to Dark Specter that she's captured the Rangers and taken their ship. Leonardo butts in to inform Dark Specter that they've only captured four of the Rangers. Down in the engine room, the Rangers sans Andros have been tied up and are being taunted by the Quantrons. Apparently, Quantrons can talk. Andros frees them with his telekinesis. On the bridge, Astronema learns of the Rangers' escape and order the Turtles to stop them. The Turtles fail, and the Rangers escape in the shuttle. Astronema turns the Megaship around and order the shuttle destroyed. The shuttle manages to fly into one of those convenient spacial anomalies that blocks sensors. The anomaly, deciding to go from convenient to deus ex machina, also somehow frees the Turtles from their mind control. Astronema quickly realizes this, and is for some reason unable to try again with the mind control and decides to set the Megaship's self-destruct and retreat. The Turtles celebrate having their own space ship. Unfortunately, the ship is going to explode in one minute.
Down at the quarry planet, Rockonius 5, the Rangers and Astronema both show up and fight. In the ship, Donatello is desperately trying to re-reprogram DECA so she won't blow up the ship. It comes down to a choice of wires. Venus relaxes him through some sort of mystical bullshit that tended to make her character all the more insufferable in the Turtles' own series. Donatello saves the day with one second remaining. Down on the planet, Astronema manages to defeat the Rangers with some sort of space-boomerang. The Turtles show up just then though, to complete the second leg of the "fight, then team-up" protocol for crossovers. Astronema orders them all destroyed. Unfortunately, all she has are Quantrons at her disposal. It's a looooooooong fight scene that suffers from the fact that the Turtle costumes aren't nearly as manueverable as the Rangers' costumes, or the Quantrons for that matter. Anyway, the combined teams when and Astronema retreats. The Turtles reach out their hands in friendship and Andros tells them....that he hopes they enjoy spending the rest of their freakish lives on this barren alien world! No, actually he forgives them for their unintended treachery. T.J. and Venus walk arm-in-arm towards the Megaship, cementing T.J.'s reputation as the worst leader of the Power Rangers that ever was. Back on the Megaship, there's some more banter and DECA shocks Donatello for nearly getting everyone killed, as well she should. The Turtles borrow the Galaxy Gliders and surf in space. My brain starts shutting down, as it can take no more! Show Over! And we will never speak of it again!
Next Time: We see Andros' home world. It may be the least impressive space colony in human history.
Original Airdate: 2-27-1998
Last Time: The Rangers headed back to Earth and...well, didn't really accomplish that much, actually.
Okay, this one is going to take a bit of explaining. The late-90s were ebb tide for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Their cartoon had been cancelled and their toys weren't selling. At the time, the television rights to the Turtles could be had for cheap. Unsurprisingly, they were purchased by Saban, who used the rights to produce a live-action TMNT series that got mercifully killed after one season. It had all of the hallmarks of a typical Saban adaptation, cheap production values and rather distant relationship to its source material. Of course, on most Saban shows, the footage was from Japan, and there weren't too many American fans around to complain. In this case....well, let's just say the introduction of a fifth, female Ninja Turtle did not go well. Anyway, Saban being the craven opportunist that he is, decided to have the TMNT and the Power Rangers crossover, and that brings us to today's episode.
In New York, Astronema introduces herself to the Turtles. Venus De Milo, the female Ninja Turtle whose very existence rankles Turtles fans to this day, recognizes her. (Note: To give you an idea of how lazy the live-action Turtles series was, the Turtles are named after Italian Renaissance painters. Venus De Milo was the name of the statue, not the artist. Also, it wasn't made during the Renaissance, nor was it from Italy.) Anyway, Astronema informs the Rangers that they'll be destroying the Power Rangers. In a bizarrely metatextual twist, Raphael complains that the Rangers are just pretend. This crossover sucks too much already, why add that sort of continuity snarl to it? Astronema turns them evil. Credits!
Up in the Megaship, Andros is explaining how the Galaxy Gliders work. They'll be using them to get to and from Earth. Suddenly, a monster attacks Angel Grove, and the Rangers get to it. Unfortunately, the rules of Power Rangers clearly state the Rangers are required to lose any fight between them and a monster in the first half of a one-part episode. And so the Rangers, being the rule-followers that they are, lose. Fortunately, the Turtles teleport in to save the day. The Rangers recognize them. Venus is there, and she is awful. She even speaks in this vaguely Asian accent that makes her sound kind of offensive, really. The Turtles beat the monster. The two teams introduce themselves to each other, and learn that the othe team does, in fact, exist in the same reality. Andros is suspicious. These are not the Turtles he grew up watching in the cartoon series! Also, he points out the suspiciously good timing the Turtles had. The Turtles ask to use the Rangers' spaceship to get back to New York. Andros wants no part of these Faux-Turtles, but the other Rangers disagree and T.J. agrees to give them a lift. You know T.J., decision-making like this is why you're no longer leader of the Power Rangers.
On the ship, Ashley and Carlos are busy telling the Rangers as many technical details and secrets as they possibly can. Andros still doesn't think this is a good idea, and watches as Cassie gives the Turtles a tour of the engine room. DECA informs Andros that someone is messing with the central computer control. Andros rushes off, feeling a satisfying sense of vindication. The Turtles cut DECA's power and Andros demands to know what the hell is going on. The Turtles have turned DECA evil. The jig is up, and Andros fights off the Turtles. Raphael and Venus take control of the bridge, as well. Astronema and some Quantrons beam aboard. The Rangers flee from the advancing Quantrons, and Astronema takes command of the Megaship.
Later, Astronema reports to Dark Specter that she's captured the Rangers and taken their ship. Leonardo butts in to inform Dark Specter that they've only captured four of the Rangers. Down in the engine room, the Rangers sans Andros have been tied up and are being taunted by the Quantrons. Apparently, Quantrons can talk. Andros frees them with his telekinesis. On the bridge, Astronema learns of the Rangers' escape and order the Turtles to stop them. The Turtles fail, and the Rangers escape in the shuttle. Astronema turns the Megaship around and order the shuttle destroyed. The shuttle manages to fly into one of those convenient spacial anomalies that blocks sensors. The anomaly, deciding to go from convenient to deus ex machina, also somehow frees the Turtles from their mind control. Astronema quickly realizes this, and is for some reason unable to try again with the mind control and decides to set the Megaship's self-destruct and retreat. The Turtles celebrate having their own space ship. Unfortunately, the ship is going to explode in one minute.
Down at the quarry planet, Rockonius 5, the Rangers and Astronema both show up and fight. In the ship, Donatello is desperately trying to re-reprogram DECA so she won't blow up the ship. It comes down to a choice of wires. Venus relaxes him through some sort of mystical bullshit that tended to make her character all the more insufferable in the Turtles' own series. Donatello saves the day with one second remaining. Down on the planet, Astronema manages to defeat the Rangers with some sort of space-boomerang. The Turtles show up just then though, to complete the second leg of the "fight, then team-up" protocol for crossovers. Astronema orders them all destroyed. Unfortunately, all she has are Quantrons at her disposal. It's a looooooooong fight scene that suffers from the fact that the Turtle costumes aren't nearly as manueverable as the Rangers' costumes, or the Quantrons for that matter. Anyway, the combined teams when and Astronema retreats. The Turtles reach out their hands in friendship and Andros tells them....that he hopes they enjoy spending the rest of their freakish lives on this barren alien world! No, actually he forgives them for their unintended treachery. T.J. and Venus walk arm-in-arm towards the Megaship, cementing T.J.'s reputation as the worst leader of the Power Rangers that ever was. Back on the Megaship, there's some more banter and DECA shocks Donatello for nearly getting everyone killed, as well she should. The Turtles borrow the Galaxy Gliders and surf in space. My brain starts shutting down, as it can take no more! Show Over! And we will never speak of it again!
Next Time: We see Andros' home world. It may be the least impressive space colony in human history.
Save Our Ship
Power Rangers in Space, Episode 3
Original Airdate: 2-20-1998
Last Time: The Rangers got new powers, and new leader. Neither seemed particularly promising.
The Astro Megaship heads back towards Earth as the Rangers check out the holodeck, I mean, Simudeck. T.J. and Ashley are inside fighting some monsters. Acutally, I'm pretty sure that the entire point of the Simudeck was to find a way to use the Japanese footage that they couldn't quite fit into the whole "in Space" theme of the season. The Rangers are impressed. Alpha 6 informs them that the ship has made it back to Earth. Andros is apprehensive about going to Earth, but Ashley is there to cheer him up...or get in his pants...or both. Down on Earth, Bulk and Skull have new jobs: trying to discover a comet in order to make money. Well, I suppose it could work if-no, scratch that, that plan makes absolutely no sense. They manage to discover an ominous space station that's half wire-frame instead. They faint at the sight. Credits!
The Rangers undock the shuttle, and head down to Earth. From the space station seen by Bulk and Skull earlier, better known as the Dark Fortress, Astronema plots their destruction. Elgar shows up. Astronema decides to throw him off her ship, but Elgar has apparently been sent by Dark Specter himself. I guess Dark Specter appreciates the necessity of keeping the atmosphere on his Dark Fortresses loose and relaxed, so his minions will be more productive. Down on Earth, the Rangers head to some place called the Surf Spot. Apparently the old juice bar and Lt. Stone are gone. Since they never explain what happened, I'll assume that Lt. Stone and the juice bar were burned to the ground by the Russian mob. Andros is confused by the notion of a "restaurant." Bulk and Skull are also there. Andros accidentally knocks down a surfboard that was hung on the wall and is introduced to the Surf Spot's owner, Adelle, who is played by the woman who played Laverne on Scrubs. I'm pretty sure that makes her the most successful actress who has ever been on Power Rangers. She serves the Rangers fries without them ordering any. She pushes her product hard. Anyway, Bulk and Skull are doing their typical Bulk and Skull antics, which Andros responds to by using his telekinesis to taint Bulk's milkshake with hot sauce. Ashley notices but says nothing, making her an accessory to Andros' crimes. Bulk and Skull find their new mentor, a guy named Professor Phenomenus, and Bulk drinks the hot sauced-milkshake. He staggers around in pain as Andros laughs. Andros is an asshole. Anyway, Bulk and Skull talk some about the space ship they saw, and then leave. The other Rangers realize that it must be the Dark Fortress....which none of them have ever seen or heard of. They decide to get their supplies and get back up to the ship. Ashley confronts Andros about the use of telekinesis for asshole pranks, and he's evasive.
Bulk and Skull have made it to Phenomenus' mailbox, which is in the middle of an empty field. They turn to leave, but hear a voice from the mailbox. Bulk and Skull explain about the aliens, and Phenomenus shows up in his van to meet with the pair in person. A new crack comic relief team is formed. The Rangers get their supplies, but Andros realizes that they're being followed. Some Quantrons attack, and well, you can probably guess how it goes. Andros posits that Astronema intend to destroy the shuttle. The Rangers morph and run back to the NASADA base where they are keeping the shuttle. The shuttle gets prepped for launch, as apparently the NASADA Commander, in addition to giving the Rangers a free shuttle, has apparently given the infinite launch supplies for that shuttle. You know, Commander, it's guys like you inspire those Tea Party activists.
Phenomenus has driven his van to the NASADA launch site as well. Bulk and Skull are excited because they believe that their mentor may be less bumbling than them. Their hopes are immediately dashed as Phenomenus reveals that they've stopped because of a flat tire. Phenomenus claims that there are aliens by the NASADA sign. Bulk and Skull realize they may be teamed up with someone who's completely out of his mind. Some Quantrons show up, though, and restore Bulk and Skull's faith in Phenomenus' fragile link to reality. Ecliptor also shows up and Andros' explains that the monster is Astronema's chief lieutenant. Also, the producers must have told the voice actor playing Ecliptor, "You know Clint Eastwood, kind of like that, but gravelier." He beats the Rangers up a bit. Astronema fires a laser at the launch facility, and a bunch of it gets destroyed, but not the shuttle. Ecliptor decides to leave. Astronema fires the laser again, but misses. The shuttle takes off. The rest of the launch facility blows up. Man, NASADA's going to have some explaining to do about that one: "Well, Senator, according to our sources, the destruction of our Angel Grove launch site was the result of poorly-targeted fire by a young woman in leather firing a laser from her space fortress." Anyway, Astronema claims to be more clever than the Power Rangers, and proves it by using her satellilaser to make Ecliptor grow to giant-size. Nothing says cleverness like doing what has been done several hundred time before. The Rangers form the Astro Megazord. The fight commences. After a bit, Ecliptor uses kaleidoscope vision to disorient the Rangers. Ashley is able to use some sort of vaguely defined camera power to find the real Ecliptor, and the Rangers finish him off.
Back in the Astro Megaship, the ship checks out and the supplies are loaded. Ashley challenges Andros to a game of pool, and they head to the Simudeck. Andros shows off by grabbing his pool cue with his telekinesis, confirming Ashley's suspicions. He offers to trade lessons in pool for lesson in telekinesis. You know, if you have telekinesis, you don't really need to learn the finer points of pool. Up in the Dark Fortress, Astronema has the most painful plan ever devised to beat the Rangers. She looks at a turtle, and my insides instinctively spasm. I know where this is heading. She ominously tells Elgar to lock onto the sewers of New York City. The lasers drag a live-action version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles out of the sewers. There are five of them. Something has gone terribly, terribly wrong. Show Over! Pain...Beginning!
Next Time: Haim Saban destroys a generation's childhood in twenty-two minutes!
Original Airdate: 2-20-1998
Last Time: The Rangers got new powers, and new leader. Neither seemed particularly promising.
The Astro Megaship heads back towards Earth as the Rangers check out the holodeck, I mean, Simudeck. T.J. and Ashley are inside fighting some monsters. Acutally, I'm pretty sure that the entire point of the Simudeck was to find a way to use the Japanese footage that they couldn't quite fit into the whole "in Space" theme of the season. The Rangers are impressed. Alpha 6 informs them that the ship has made it back to Earth. Andros is apprehensive about going to Earth, but Ashley is there to cheer him up...or get in his pants...or both. Down on Earth, Bulk and Skull have new jobs: trying to discover a comet in order to make money. Well, I suppose it could work if-no, scratch that, that plan makes absolutely no sense. They manage to discover an ominous space station that's half wire-frame instead. They faint at the sight. Credits!
The Rangers undock the shuttle, and head down to Earth. From the space station seen by Bulk and Skull earlier, better known as the Dark Fortress, Astronema plots their destruction. Elgar shows up. Astronema decides to throw him off her ship, but Elgar has apparently been sent by Dark Specter himself. I guess Dark Specter appreciates the necessity of keeping the atmosphere on his Dark Fortresses loose and relaxed, so his minions will be more productive. Down on Earth, the Rangers head to some place called the Surf Spot. Apparently the old juice bar and Lt. Stone are gone. Since they never explain what happened, I'll assume that Lt. Stone and the juice bar were burned to the ground by the Russian mob. Andros is confused by the notion of a "restaurant." Bulk and Skull are also there. Andros accidentally knocks down a surfboard that was hung on the wall and is introduced to the Surf Spot's owner, Adelle, who is played by the woman who played Laverne on Scrubs. I'm pretty sure that makes her the most successful actress who has ever been on Power Rangers. She serves the Rangers fries without them ordering any. She pushes her product hard. Anyway, Bulk and Skull are doing their typical Bulk and Skull antics, which Andros responds to by using his telekinesis to taint Bulk's milkshake with hot sauce. Ashley notices but says nothing, making her an accessory to Andros' crimes. Bulk and Skull find their new mentor, a guy named Professor Phenomenus, and Bulk drinks the hot sauced-milkshake. He staggers around in pain as Andros laughs. Andros is an asshole. Anyway, Bulk and Skull talk some about the space ship they saw, and then leave. The other Rangers realize that it must be the Dark Fortress....which none of them have ever seen or heard of. They decide to get their supplies and get back up to the ship. Ashley confronts Andros about the use of telekinesis for asshole pranks, and he's evasive.
Bulk and Skull have made it to Phenomenus' mailbox, which is in the middle of an empty field. They turn to leave, but hear a voice from the mailbox. Bulk and Skull explain about the aliens, and Phenomenus shows up in his van to meet with the pair in person. A new crack comic relief team is formed. The Rangers get their supplies, but Andros realizes that they're being followed. Some Quantrons attack, and well, you can probably guess how it goes. Andros posits that Astronema intend to destroy the shuttle. The Rangers morph and run back to the NASADA base where they are keeping the shuttle. The shuttle gets prepped for launch, as apparently the NASADA Commander, in addition to giving the Rangers a free shuttle, has apparently given the infinite launch supplies for that shuttle. You know, Commander, it's guys like you inspire those Tea Party activists.
Phenomenus has driven his van to the NASADA launch site as well. Bulk and Skull are excited because they believe that their mentor may be less bumbling than them. Their hopes are immediately dashed as Phenomenus reveals that they've stopped because of a flat tire. Phenomenus claims that there are aliens by the NASADA sign. Bulk and Skull realize they may be teamed up with someone who's completely out of his mind. Some Quantrons show up, though, and restore Bulk and Skull's faith in Phenomenus' fragile link to reality. Ecliptor also shows up and Andros' explains that the monster is Astronema's chief lieutenant. Also, the producers must have told the voice actor playing Ecliptor, "You know Clint Eastwood, kind of like that, but gravelier." He beats the Rangers up a bit. Astronema fires a laser at the launch facility, and a bunch of it gets destroyed, but not the shuttle. Ecliptor decides to leave. Astronema fires the laser again, but misses. The shuttle takes off. The rest of the launch facility blows up. Man, NASADA's going to have some explaining to do about that one: "Well, Senator, according to our sources, the destruction of our Angel Grove launch site was the result of poorly-targeted fire by a young woman in leather firing a laser from her space fortress." Anyway, Astronema claims to be more clever than the Power Rangers, and proves it by using her satellilaser to make Ecliptor grow to giant-size. Nothing says cleverness like doing what has been done several hundred time before. The Rangers form the Astro Megazord. The fight commences. After a bit, Ecliptor uses kaleidoscope vision to disorient the Rangers. Ashley is able to use some sort of vaguely defined camera power to find the real Ecliptor, and the Rangers finish him off.
Back in the Astro Megaship, the ship checks out and the supplies are loaded. Ashley challenges Andros to a game of pool, and they head to the Simudeck. Andros shows off by grabbing his pool cue with his telekinesis, confirming Ashley's suspicions. He offers to trade lessons in pool for lesson in telekinesis. You know, if you have telekinesis, you don't really need to learn the finer points of pool. Up in the Dark Fortress, Astronema has the most painful plan ever devised to beat the Rangers. She looks at a turtle, and my insides instinctively spasm. I know where this is heading. She ominously tells Elgar to lock onto the sewers of New York City. The lasers drag a live-action version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles out of the sewers. There are five of them. Something has gone terribly, terribly wrong. Show Over! Pain...Beginning!
Next Time: Haim Saban destroys a generation's childhood in twenty-two minutes!
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