Forever Red

Power Rangers: Wild Force, Episode 34

Original Airdate: 10-5-2002

Last Time: Animus took away all of the zords....then changed his mind ten minutes later and pretended that it was all a test.

Okay, guys, this one is going to be a doozy, if only because trying to work in ten Red Rangers in twenty-two minutes, while also setting up why they and only they can stop a new threat is basically impossible. If there ever were a Power Rangers story that needed two parts, it's this one. Then again, the primary purpose of Power Rangers is to sell toys, and those toys get cycled out of the toy stores in a matter of months, so I can understand, from a purely economical standpoint, why they'd want to limit this to one part. Think about it this way, there are an infinite number of alternate realities, and that means that there are countless universes where this was a two-parter. Hell, there are countless universes where it's a three-parter. Actually, come to think of it, since there are an innumerable number of universes where any event has happened, that means that there are billions of universes were Forever Red was the only television program ever made. Wait, where was I going with this?

On the Moon, some Beetleborg rejects are ordering some Cogs (the mooks from Zeo) to excavate something that Lord Zedd left behind when he fled the Solar System. A guy in a cloak who happens to be Andros, watches and realizes that this might be a problem. Andros tries to run but get spotted by two of the villains, who choose to chase him....on horseback....on the moon....On the plus side, having lunar-based robots utilize light calvalry is something that's never been done before. Andros calls for his Galaxy Glider and gets out of there.

Somewhere on Earth, Bulk and Skull have returned! They're now working as bartenders at some sort of resort. Wait a minute, for the entire Lost Galaxy season, it was pounded into the audience's head that no one could get back to Earth from Terra Venture, and Bulk was on Terra Venture the whole time. It was stupid at the time, but the writers held fast to it. Now I'm not a continuity nerd or anything, but this episode is basically continuity masturbation, so you'd think you wouldn't want to fuck something like that up.

Anyway, the phone rings, and Bulk accidentally knocks Skull into a nearby swimming pool. Ah, those were the days. But, the episode then elects to depress me in a profound way, as it turns out that Bulk and Skull now work for Tommy at his resort. That's.....kind of soul-crushing, I mean, they deserve better than to work for someone like Tommy. Also, wasn't Tommy a race car driver last time we saw him?

Carter then shows up in Turtle Cove to retrieve Cole for a secret mission. Carter takes Cole to a secret NASADA base, where the space agency has only now recovered from losing all of those shuttles in the In Space season. Cole meets up with Eric and Wes, and Carter introduces them to....I'm not exactly sure who, as it's clear that Cole knows them, and Carter knows them, and Eric and Wes probably don't need to be told who they are. It's some rather poorly written exposition, although I understand why they did it. Then again, maybe Carter accurately pegged Cole as someone who needed extra assistance in keeping up with all of the Red Rangers. He also introduces T.J.....oh, fuck, everyone's going to die. Andros also shows up and explains that the leader of the Rangers for this mission will be....Tommy. Bummer. Couldn't have been Jason, eh?

Tommy explains that the remnants of the Machine Empire have come together on the Moon in order to invade Earth. Andros then shows off a new Astro Megaship to take them to the Moon. It's a volunteer mission, but, well, the other Rangers are just happy to be there. Andros asks where the hell Jason is, and a motorcycle pulls up in the distance. It's Jason, and he gives the team a look-over. The assembled Red Rangers move off to...wait, aren't we one short? Where's Leo, my second-least favorite Red Ranger? (Note: Apparently the guy who played Leo was still pissed about the....pacing issues in the teamup episide with Lost Galaxy and only showed up for a few reshoots. Not the world's biggest loss.)

On the moon, the head Machine guy shows off his new superweapon and vows revenge. On Mirinoi, Leo decides he probably should head out. On the Megaship, Tommy finally tells the team exactly what they'll be doing once they reach the moon with the help of some version of Alpha. Tommy explains that he and the other Zeo Rangers, who couldn't be here today, but send their regards, destroyed most of the Machine Empire, but that turned out to not quite be enough, as they've regrouped under General Venjix and are excavating Serpenterra. What's Serpenterra, you ask? Well, it was Lord Zedd's awesome gigantic zord that dwarfed any megazord ever built. Oh, it always ran out of power before it could do anything, but presumably this time will be different. Cole immediately leaps to the bold conclusion that the assembled strike force of Rangers should stop the evil robots from destroying the Earth. You know, watching Cole's actor going up against all of the other Red Rangers, who weren't exactly played by legends of the screen, makes me realize just how shitty the acting this season has been. On the plus side, the guy playing T.J. seems a lot better than the last time I saw him.

Anyway, the evil Beetleborgs are about to turn on Serpenterra when the Rangers manage to sneak up right behind him undetected. That's some piss-poor security, there, Venjix. It's time for the unmorphed melee. T.J. is still forgettable! Tommy still has his trademark battlecry! Jason is getting too old for this shit! Eric is still competent! Andros is still playing by a guy who doesn't do his own stunts! Carter still just shoots people in lieu of punching them! Eric should stop wearing that red beret! No one watched this episode to see Cole fight!

The generals decide to just go ahead and board Serpenterra while the Rangers are fighting the Cogs, and Cole tries to stop them. He fails, of course, but gets saved by Leo and Aurico (the Red Aquitar Ranger from the end of season 3, when they ran out of Sentai footage with the original suits but still had about ten episodes to go until Zeo). The Rangers reassemble and Leo unmorphs....and Aurico doesn't because they couldn't get the original actor.

The general pursue the Rangers and realize that they've inadvertently stumbled into the Red Ranger reunion. "It's Morphin' Time!" "It's Morphin' Time!" "Shift Into Turbo" "Let's Rocket" "Go Galactic" "Lightspeed Rescue" "Time For Time Force" "Quantum Power" "Wild Access" And Aurico is already morphed and Rocky....wasn't invited.

The Rangers work in pairs to defeat the Robot Generals, who have got to be gobsmacked by all of the Red Rangers in history showing up. Cole and Jason team up and Cole tries to be endearing by saying "Morphonomenal" his attempt fails. Wes and Tommy fight against the green robot, which ends when Tommy kicks the robot in the chest so hard that it explodes.

Meanwhile, Aurico and Eric team up in the "Do whatever the hell you have to, but we must have ten Red Rangers" fight. Leo and T.J. fight another general in a fight I will know as "the fight of the damned." Finally, that leaves Andros and Carter to eschew close combat altogether and just shoot their enemy until it dies.

Everyone's dead except for the guy Cole and Jason were fighting because Cole's final attack just wasn't good enough. Serpenterra takes off and Carter announces that there's no time to chase it in the Astro Megaship. Time for an epic megazord battle? Yeah, you wish. No, instead Cole calls on the new motorcycle that was awkwardly introduced at the end of last week's episode. He then starts driving it in space, which appears to have the same properties as an asphalt road in terms of manuevering the motorcycle, and then blows up the mightiest zord of them all by flying right into its mouth and firing some lasers. Man, you could not have scripted a more disappointing ending if you tried.

The Rangers then shoot the breeze about there old adventures and whose the best Ranger. Eric declares that the Q-Rex can kick the Dragonzord's ass. Wes claims that he changed the course of history...although it was never made clear that it was for the better. Andros claims to have saved two worlds. And T.J., in his very last T.J. moment, remembers the time he got his team cooked into a pizza. I will miss him most of all. Show Over!

Next Time: Hey, remember how when Master Org was killed, he didn't really die? Well, he's decided that to finally get back in the game by use of a ridiculously circuitous plot to defeat the Rangers.