Trouble By the Slice

Power Rangers Turbo, Episode 22

Original Airdate: 9-16-1997

Last time: My ten year-old self still missed the old Turbo Rangers, and the new Rangers found the mightiest vehicles ever built. It was a huge disappointment.

At the beach, Porto is showing off a new teleporting device. Divatox test fires it and manages to accidentally teleport Porto ten feet away. She's unimpressed, and decides to turn up the power. You know what was still big in 1997? Home Improvement. Just saying. Elgar pisses her off, and this somehow leads to her using her eyebeams to turn a Piranhatron into a monkey. Huh. Porto is concerned that Divatox is going break the gun by screwing around with it. Divatox manages to teleport herself away thanks to a richoceting teleport ray. Her goons are concerned.

Somewhere in Angel Grove, Divatox wakes up and is confused. She immediately grabs a passerby and asks, "Who am I?" Amnesia plot? Amnesia plot! Credits!

Elsewhere, Carlos is talking to Justin about his girl problems. Justin offers some off-hand advice, and Carlos decides to heed it, because if there's one thing that twelve year-old's know, it's how to talk to girls. Meanwhile a bunch of kids are playing soccer. Justin is mesmerised by the world's most popular sport. Carlos asks if he'd like to play. Justin doesn't like soccer. Carlos cannot believe such a thing is true. A little Latino boy asks if Carlos and Justin would like to play. Carlos badgers Justin into playing. Didn't we just do an episode with soccer? And isn't one episode per season one too many?

Divatox is still wandering around Angel Grove with no memory. In a pizza store, Bulk and Skull have a new job, pizza delivery men. Oh, no. Please. I'm begging you, I can't bear to see where this is headed. There new boss is a guy wearing a fake mustache. They manage to get laughed at from their uniforms alone. Divatox wanders into the pizzeria, and eats a slice of pizza. The fake-mustachioed manager realizes she has no money, and, being the cariacture of the asshole that he is, pressgangs Divatox into service at his pizza store.

In the space-sub, the goons are still trying to find Divatox. Elgar is hungry and so they decide to get pizza. At this point, the villains of this season seem so utterly harmless that the Rangers kind of seem like jerks to be whaling on them every episode. At the soccer field, Justin manages to get an assist by passing Carlos the ball for a goal. It's worth noting that everyone else playing is about six years younger than Carlos. Carlos apparently has forgotten Adam's lesson on teamwork. They all celebrate.

Bulk and Skull are attempting to deliver pizzas, but it's going as well as you'd expect. They get lost in the desert. They give up. I can't say I blame them. Divatox is working as a pizza chef. She decides that some people like pizza raw. The manager is hearing complaints about Bulk and Skull's lack of deliveries. He is unconcerned, and still has a profoundly fake mustache. It's mesmerizing. Porto shows up in disguise as a woman in order to get his pizzas. As he's leaving, he finds Divatox. She doesn't recognize him. Just then, Carlos and the kids from the soccer game arrive. Porto has to get away.

One of the kids, who I will call mini-Carlos for his soccer skills and Latin flavor, asks Justin why he's in high school. Apparently he's supposed to be smart. Another kid calls him a nerd. That shuts Justin down right quick, and I am pleased. Mini-Carlos leaps to Justin's defense just like his regular-sized counterpart would. They go off to play a crane game. Divatox then walks in, but Carlos turns away just in time to miss her. Oh, so it's going to be like that, eh? Carlos walks up to the counter to order, and turns away just as Divatox comes up next to him. Then he has to bend down to pick up some money he dropped just as Divatox comes by him again. So, the writers ran out of plot, didn't they?

Down in the space-sub, the goons eat pizza and discuss the Divatox situation. They need a diversion so they can grab her without the Rangers knowing. Rygog orders Porto to make a monster, but Porto comes down with performance anxiety. He eventually decides just to bring the pizzeria's mascot, Mad Mike to life instead. Back at the pizzeria, more people are calling in to report that Bulk and Skull haven't delivered their pizzas. Carlos comes back up to the counter because someone took a bite out his pizza before it was served. The manager confronts Divatox. It does not go well.

Mad Mike shows up and starts attacking people with explosive pizzas. I'm guessing that this is one of those episode where the writers say the Japanese footage and just hung their heads in despair. Alpha 6 calls in the Rangers. Elgar tries to abduct Divatox. Divatox responds by blasting him with her eyebeams, but they get reflected back at her and restore her memory. The moral of today's episode is that we must always beware beams and their capricious, and often boomeranging nature. They all go home.

At the Power Chamber, Carlos and Justin arrive and are informed of the situation. Before they head out, Dimitria gives them something called the Turbine Laser, and the Rangers contemplate the escalating violence that always accompanies war with evil. They morph and head out. The Rangers confront Mad Mike and get blown up with his exploding pizzas. In the war of Rangers against pizza, there are not victors, only survivors. Lightning Cruiser and Storm Blaster show up to help the Rangers out, but Mad Mike manages to take control of them with his special mind-control pizzas. Wait....what?

The pizza-controlled cars blast the Rangers good. The Rangers somehow get forced back into a warehouse in a scene that isn't edited well. Divatox decides to hurry things along by summoning a giant pizza oven. Things have gotten quite strange indeed. The Rangers somehow get forced into the oven. Mad Mike taunts him with his mildly racist Italian accent. The Rangers can't escape as Mad Mike tosses in some green peppers, mushroom and pepperoni. Oh, well, at least the Rangers have the dignity of dying in a Supreme pizza. Mad Mike bakes the Rangers into a pizza.

Just then, as if things couldn't get more trippy, the Blue Senturion walks in. He is able to deduce that the giant pizza oven is the source of the Rangers' problems. The Blue Senturion is on the case! He notes that the Rangers have been cooked into a pizza. You know, you guys aren't going to believe this, but they almost cancelled Power Rangers after this season.

Blue Senturion tries to rescued the Rangers but gets explosive-pizzaed for his trouble and then run down by a still pizza-controlled Lightning Cruiser and then run down by a pizza-controlled Storm Blaster. Blue Senturion is not having a very good day. Mad Mike is getting ready to finish the Rangers off with a giant knife and fork. Damn it, Mad Mike, pizza is a finger food, keep it together! The Blue Senturion is about to get run down again when he turns on the red light on his chest in last-ditch attempt to stop Lightning Cruiser and Storm Blaster. It inexplicably works and removes the pizzas controlling them. As Blue Senturion puts it, "The evil pizzas were no match for a simple stop light." Truer words, Blue Senturion, truer words.

The Blue Senturion then frees the Rangers by repeatedly shooting at the giant pizza they're trapped in. This also somehow works. The Rangers call for the Turbine Laser, which is priced to sell! Divatox fires da torpedoes. Blue Senturion continues to give sage advice by noting, "For a giant-sized pizza, you need a giant-sized pizza cutter." The Robo Racer comes forth. Mad Mike beats up the Robo Racer until the Turbo Megazord shows up and sends him off this vale of tears.

Back at the space-sub, Divatox is still messing around with the teleporter ray. Elgar walks in with some pizzas. He gets teleported out of the sub and next to a shark. Show Over!

Next time: The Phantom Ranger shows up, and I wish he'd go away.