Wednesday, June 30, 2010

From Out of Nowhere, Part II

Power Rangers in Space, Episode 2

Original Airdate: 2-13-1998

Last Time: The Rangers went to space....that's about it, honestly.

The Rangers all fight the Quantrons. The ex-Turbo Rangers, having no powers, get their asses kicked. The Red Ranger, however, is easily able to dispatch the Quantrons, and notices the other Rangers struggling. The Quantrons retreat! Credits!

The Red Ranger powers down to reveal himself...as a dude with the most ridiculous hairstyle I can imagine. Ashley begins her season-long arc by circling around the Red Ranger and looking at him like a piece of meat. She pokes him in the shoulder, and, for some reason, this makes her realize that the guy's human. The Red Ranger confirms, and announces that "Earth isn't the only place where humans live." Wait, what? No, that's not right! Couldn't they have just made him a human-like alien? Do they have to half-ass an explanation like this? Anyway, he explains that he's from a space colony called KO-35. Were the colonists from Earth? The other Rangers introduce themselves. T.J. offers his hand in friendship, but the Red Ranger is wary of catching the stink of failure. He ultimately decides to shake T.J.'s hand and introduces himself as Andros, scourge of the Star Fox team! Cassie mocks Ashley for her actions earlier in the scene, as well she should.

Later, DECA is helping Carlos repair Alpha. He doesn't do a great job. On the planet, T.J. suggest setting a course for the place where all of the evil guys were meeting. Andros informs him that they've already moved on. Ashley asks about Zordon, and Andros explains that the ol' head only has about 40 episodes of life left in him. Andros makes it clear he wants no part of the ex-Turbo Rangers. T.J. tries to convince him otherwise, but does a very T.J.-esque job, and fails. Andros does, however, manage to fix Alpha. She gets new voice, and loses her odd streetwise mannerisms. All present are pleased. Andros decides to send the Rangers back to Earth on their shuttle.

Ashley interrupts Andros' effort to contain the ex-Turbo Rangers on Earth. She talks to him about going home, but doesn't get anywhere. Andros sends the other Rangers back to Earth. T.J. accepts it, because, well, he has many good qualities, but tenacity is not one of them. The Astro Megaship takes off, leaving the Rangers on the planet with their shuttle. The Rangers realize that Alpha is missing. Christ, can't they do anything right? The Quantrons show up. The Rangers get beaten up again. In space, Andros orders DECA to go to "Hyper Rush 3." Hyper Rush 3? Seriously? Why not just call it Fast Speed 7, or Go Quick 9! Alpha turns up to urge Andros to take on the other Rangers as his teammates. DECA agrees with Alpha. Andros, however, is no mood to be ordering around by machines, and refuses. Alpha points out that Andros needs all the help he can get to save Zordon. Yeah, but Alpha saw how helpful the Rangers were last season right? Any more of that kind of help and the universe is boned.

Andros flashes back to his encounters with the Rangers, and, more importantly, Ashley's boobs, and decides, yes, he would like to tap that, and turns his ship around. Back on the quarry planet, the Rangers have managed to get captured. Astronema shows up in all of her tight leather glory, and T.J. is confused...and aroused....and defiant! Astronema uses her deadly powers of overacting to crush the Rangers' spirits. She orders them destroyed and leaves. The Astro Megaship reappears and saves the day. Andros comes running and gives them new morphers and they're new morphing catchphrase "Let's Rocket!" It's not good, but there will be worse....much worse. They morph. T.J. is now the Blue Ranger, and Carlos is now the Black Ranger. Unfortunately, this does mean that they will have to get new wardrobes. The Rangers beat up some Quantrons to celebrate. They call out their power weapons which....don't look so good this season. Carlos has a stick with a crescent moon on top. Cassie has a satellite dish with a handle. Ashley has some sort of space-slingshot. T.J. gets an axe, though...an astro axe. Because when I think high-tech and space-age, I think an axe! The Quantrons escape. Some space fighters show up and the team heads back to the Astro Megaship.

On the bridge, DECA detects an incoming ship. It's the same evil ship from last episode. The ships trade laser fire. Alpha remembers that they've got that black box from last season. Alpha explains that she's finally broken the code for the Astro Megazord. Alpha explains that the Astro Megaship can be merged with the shuttle to form the Astro Megazord. Okay, so, I guess the guys at NASADA were designed a shuttle and said to themselves: "You know what Frank, wouldn't it be boss if the shuttle could turn into the head of a giant robot?" "Sure, Phil, so, should we build some other shuttles to form the other body parts?" "Nah, given enough time, our shuttle will run into a space ship that can turn into the other parts...you know, just like the Drake equation says, there are billions of planets with life out there, I figure at least one of them has to have a couple of scientist like us." "Yeah, and when our two spaceships meet, they'll be real glad that we were here to help." I mean, come on, man! Alpha counters that it's all part of Zordon's masterplan. Oh, good a masterplan from the guy whose life is currently be drained from him by his enemies, and who endorsed the idea of T.J. as the leader of the Rangers. Yeah, he's the guy I want making my masterplans.

Anyway, the Rangers go through with the Astro Megazord formation, which takes forever, even though only two pieces are involved. Astronema is unimpressed and orders them destroyed. The Astro Megazord destroys the enemy ship. Back in the Astro Megaship, the Rangers are now all wearing the same uniform as Andros. I guess he instituted school uniforms in order to cut down on discipline problems. Andros explains some stuff about the Megaship, and also informs the other Rangers that his ship needs repairs. Cassie suggests they repair it on Earth, the planet with a no interstellar travel. Apparently NASADA can help. Was Zordon using some sort of shadow government to control NASADA or something? Andros has learned the importance of accepting help and so agrees and sets a course for Earth. Astronema follows them. On the one hand, the actress playing Astronema can't seem to stop overacting to the extreme. On the other, she's hot and wears leather. I must find a way to reconcile these thoughts. Show Over!

Next Time: Earth! Bulk and Skull! Andros begins grating on my nerves!

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