Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 13
Original Airdate: 4-28-2001
Last Time: Mr. Collins formed his own mercenary company and Wes repeatedly accused him of not getting "him" or "it."
At an archeological site, some scientists make a discovery. Fuck, is it time for the Lightspeed crossover already? No, it isn't. They find a metal box...from THE FUTURE! At Ransik's Shack, Nadira is watching some unbelievably bad television show....that turns out to be Saban's abortive attempt at localizing Masked Rider. A news broadcast interrupts to inform the villains of the mystery box. Ransik recognizes it as being Time Force technology, and decides to steal it. Frax pulls out a monster named Breakneck. Ransik informs him, in as overacted fashion as possible, that the box contains the powers of the Quantum Ranger. Credits!
Back at the dig site, the archeologists put the Quantum thing in a larger box and are immediately attacked by Breakneck, who is immediately attacked by the Silver Guardians. A massive mook versus goon fight breaks out between them and the Cyclobots. Eric tries to steal the box from Breakneck and gets saved by Wes. I think Eric would have preferred death. Jen tries to get the box, and she and the monster discuss the amazing power of the Quantum controller. Eric overhears and thinks to himself, "If I steal this power, I could totally kick Wes' ass and get Mr. Collins to name me as his legal heir." And, wouldn't you know it, the universe agrees with him and the box manages to blown right in front of him during the fight. He decides to steal it, and the fight disperses.
Eric manages to make his way to an industrial plant to hide the Quantum Controller for safekeeping. He tries putting on the box, but an energy surge convinces him to hold off. Back at Mr. Collin's doom bunker, an aide informs him that they need future technology to be more effective. Eric shows up to volunteer to be the new leader of the Silver Guardians, and Mr. Collins blows him off. This leads to another angry inner monologue from Eric.
Back at the clock tower, Circuit explains that Time Force sent the Quantum Controller and the Quantumsaurus Rex (sold separately) back in time so that....well, you see if they did that then....Okay, there is literally no good reason to send advanced technology back to a random time period.
Breakneck has tracked the Quantum Controller to the site where Eric hit it, and his presence tips off the Rangers. They fight again and it's once more inconclusive. Eric shows up and fights his way to the MacGuffin, but gets cornered by some Cyclobots. Wes saves him again and demands the Quantum Controller. Understandably, Eric refuses. They fight some more Cyclobots until Eric puts his hand in the box and gets a morpher. Wes tries to stop him, but well, he's not very persuasive and Eric morphs into the Quantum Ranger.
Meanwhile, the other Rangers got beaten by Breakneck, until Eric shows up with his new powers and ominously starts hitting his blaster against the back of his hand. Eric then butchers about three dozen Cyclobots to introduce himself. He then kills Breakneck in about ten seconds. Then the Rangers wonder how Eric will use his power, and the show ends with a spectacularly dopey shot showing Wes and Eric having a stareoff as their unmasked faces are superimposed on the background. Show Over!
Next Time: Eric thinks to himself, "I stole Ranger powers, why not steal a zord while I'm at it?"
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Worlds Apart
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 12
Original Airdate: 4-21-2001
Last Time: Trip felt bad about himself, and I felt bad about him too.
In the clock tower, Jen is dressing down the Rangers for sucking in their last monster fight. In an odd bit of continuity, it's actually the fight from last episode. Wes, Katie, and Lucas eat some popcorn furtively. Er...seeing as Jen's fiance and their friend got killed fighting a mutant, you'd think that this would be something that the Rangers would want to pay attention to. Trip shows up to announce the team's new job: Garbage collecting!
And lo, the garbage collecting is done. Mr. Collins drives by and shows his uncanny ability to identify Wes at a distance when he sees his son picking up trash. Mr. Collins is not pleased by this turn of events, especially since Wes was the one who cut himself off. He tells Wes how disappointed he is....and in fairness, he's probably right. Four years at Choate, four more at Williams, and this is what he has to show for it?
Elsewhere, Nadira tries to rob another bank but gets surrounded by what appears to be the private army of a Bond villain. They have navy blue jumpsuits and the leader wears a red beret. They open fire on the villains. Credits!
The leader of the mercenaries identifies the team as the Silver Guardians, who have been hired to protect the bank. The Rangers are showed up and are confused at the presence of Silverwater. The Silver Guardians kill all of the Cyclobots and drive Nadira off. One of the Silver Guardians breaks ranks and talks with Wes. It's Eric, the bitterest character in Power Rangers history. He makes fun of Wes for being a rich asshole without a real job and then leaves. Oh, Eric, you're going to make this season a delight. Wes reveals that he went to prep school with Eric.
Later, the Rangers are skittish about the presence of people protecting the town who haven't come from the future on to prevent the genetically impure from gaining power. Circuit shows the Rangers a press conference where it's revealed that Mr. Collins created the Silver Guardians to make loads of cash off of people's fears of monster attacks. Wes is upset that a diehard capitalist is trying to make money and has a little rant about his father and about how money is bad or something, unless it's used to buy official Power Rangers merchandise. Lucas awkwardly segues the conversation into a discussion about Eric.
Wes remembers how Eric used to be driven and then he quit prep school because he didn't want to hang out with rich assholes like Wes all day. The Rangers then discuss the Silver Guardians some more because....why not.
Later, Mr. Collins has set up a large rally for his Silver Guardians, and there's a large eagle symbol on the wall behind the speaker. Mr. Collins informs his army that "nothing can stop you!" Are we sure that Mr. Collins isn't a supervillain? After the speech, Eric introduces himself to Mr. Collins and offers to help find Wes. This leads to Eric having a flashback about hanging out with Wes and not getting invited to an exclusive rich-kid party.
Elsewhere, Frax remembers that he really ought to get a move on in his plans to assert robo-supremacy...which he accomplishes by releasing a mutant on the city. The Silver Guardians get called on to fight the monster, and I suppose it is a change of pace for the heroes to have cannon fodder on their side.
The Rangers show up first and fight off some Cyclobots. The Silver Guardians show up to cite the mutant for trespassing. You know, it just occurred to me that the Silver Guardian's activities have got to be super-illegal. The Silver Guardians kill about a hundred Cyclobots, and Mr. Collins shows up to observe the fight. Unfortunately, he shows up just time to see his soldiers get thoroughly blasted by the monster, who also trashes Wes. This breaks part of Wes' helmet, and Eric is immediately able to recognize Wes, as does Mr. Collins. The plutocrat reacts with a line that could never, ever have been well acted:
Mr. Collin: Wes, what's the meaning of this? You're a Time Force Ranger!
Anyway, Wes takes that opportunity to discuss how mercenary armies are wrong and such, but his helmet is only half-broken, and his mouth is still covered, which kind of makes everything he says sound muffled. And it's doubly unfortunate, because this is Wes' big speech on making your own destiny and not hiring bands of murderous men in order to profiteer off of the suffering of others. Mr. Collins tries to explain that Wes' plan is even dumber, as does Eric.
Wes helps the other Rangers kill the monster, and I don't suppose that could be it for today? Yes...it can, no megazord fight! Take that, stock footage!
Later, Frax is still going on about controlling the X-Vault and Ransik berates him for a bit. They leave and Frax does his best Richard III impression, which isn't very good. At the park, Mr. Collins tries to talk to his son again, and explains that Wes should join the Silver Guardians if he wants to protect the city, rather than hanging around people with unfortunate ideas about genetic purity. Wes accuses his dad of "not getting it," for roughly the seventeenth time this episode. Mr. Collins walks away, defeated by Wes' overwhelming self-righteousness. Show Over!
Next Time: Eric steals some Ranger powers because that's just how he rolls.
Original Airdate: 4-21-2001
Last Time: Trip felt bad about himself, and I felt bad about him too.
In the clock tower, Jen is dressing down the Rangers for sucking in their last monster fight. In an odd bit of continuity, it's actually the fight from last episode. Wes, Katie, and Lucas eat some popcorn furtively. Er...seeing as Jen's fiance and their friend got killed fighting a mutant, you'd think that this would be something that the Rangers would want to pay attention to. Trip shows up to announce the team's new job: Garbage collecting!
And lo, the garbage collecting is done. Mr. Collins drives by and shows his uncanny ability to identify Wes at a distance when he sees his son picking up trash. Mr. Collins is not pleased by this turn of events, especially since Wes was the one who cut himself off. He tells Wes how disappointed he is....and in fairness, he's probably right. Four years at Choate, four more at Williams, and this is what he has to show for it?
Elsewhere, Nadira tries to rob another bank but gets surrounded by what appears to be the private army of a Bond villain. They have navy blue jumpsuits and the leader wears a red beret. They open fire on the villains. Credits!
The leader of the mercenaries identifies the team as the Silver Guardians, who have been hired to protect the bank. The Rangers are showed up and are confused at the presence of Silverwater. The Silver Guardians kill all of the Cyclobots and drive Nadira off. One of the Silver Guardians breaks ranks and talks with Wes. It's Eric, the bitterest character in Power Rangers history. He makes fun of Wes for being a rich asshole without a real job and then leaves. Oh, Eric, you're going to make this season a delight. Wes reveals that he went to prep school with Eric.
Later, the Rangers are skittish about the presence of people protecting the town who haven't come from the future on to prevent the genetically impure from gaining power. Circuit shows the Rangers a press conference where it's revealed that Mr. Collins created the Silver Guardians to make loads of cash off of people's fears of monster attacks. Wes is upset that a diehard capitalist is trying to make money and has a little rant about his father and about how money is bad or something, unless it's used to buy official Power Rangers merchandise. Lucas awkwardly segues the conversation into a discussion about Eric.
Wes remembers how Eric used to be driven and then he quit prep school because he didn't want to hang out with rich assholes like Wes all day. The Rangers then discuss the Silver Guardians some more because....why not.
Later, Mr. Collins has set up a large rally for his Silver Guardians, and there's a large eagle symbol on the wall behind the speaker. Mr. Collins informs his army that "nothing can stop you!" Are we sure that Mr. Collins isn't a supervillain? After the speech, Eric introduces himself to Mr. Collins and offers to help find Wes. This leads to Eric having a flashback about hanging out with Wes and not getting invited to an exclusive rich-kid party.
Elsewhere, Frax remembers that he really ought to get a move on in his plans to assert robo-supremacy...which he accomplishes by releasing a mutant on the city. The Silver Guardians get called on to fight the monster, and I suppose it is a change of pace for the heroes to have cannon fodder on their side.
The Rangers show up first and fight off some Cyclobots. The Silver Guardians show up to cite the mutant for trespassing. You know, it just occurred to me that the Silver Guardian's activities have got to be super-illegal. The Silver Guardians kill about a hundred Cyclobots, and Mr. Collins shows up to observe the fight. Unfortunately, he shows up just time to see his soldiers get thoroughly blasted by the monster, who also trashes Wes. This breaks part of Wes' helmet, and Eric is immediately able to recognize Wes, as does Mr. Collins. The plutocrat reacts with a line that could never, ever have been well acted:
Mr. Collin: Wes, what's the meaning of this? You're a Time Force Ranger!
Anyway, Wes takes that opportunity to discuss how mercenary armies are wrong and such, but his helmet is only half-broken, and his mouth is still covered, which kind of makes everything he says sound muffled. And it's doubly unfortunate, because this is Wes' big speech on making your own destiny and not hiring bands of murderous men in order to profiteer off of the suffering of others. Mr. Collins tries to explain that Wes' plan is even dumber, as does Eric.
Wes helps the other Rangers kill the monster, and I don't suppose that could be it for today? Yes...it can, no megazord fight! Take that, stock footage!
Later, Frax is still going on about controlling the X-Vault and Ransik berates him for a bit. They leave and Frax does his best Richard III impression, which isn't very good. At the park, Mr. Collins tries to talk to his son again, and explains that Wes should join the Silver Guardians if he wants to protect the city, rather than hanging around people with unfortunate ideas about genetic purity. Wes accuses his dad of "not getting it," for roughly the seventeenth time this episode. Mr. Collins walks away, defeated by Wes' overwhelming self-righteousness. Show Over!
Next Time: Eric steals some Ranger powers because that's just how he rolls.
Uniquely Trip
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 11
Original Airdate: 4-14-2001
Last Time: Katie angsted. End of summary.
In the clock tower, Trip is explaining a new weapon, and Wes is bored because he's not quite smart enough to realize that he's going to have to use the damn thing at the end of the episode. They're interrupted by a monster attack. The Rangers show up to confront the monster and Credits? Here? Okay....
Back to the fight, Trip notices that the other Rangers are actually good at fighting, and gets discouraged by his own suckitude. The monster gets killed, but Trip still feels bad. Wait, wait, wait, Trip is having a crisis of confidence because there's the possibility that somewhere down the line his crappiness at fighting might lead to the Rangers getting killed? I don't know, what else you got?
Trip heads to the park and sees four children playing Power Rangers, and guess which color isn't picked. First of all, as a young kid who grew up during the peak of the Rangers' popularity, you weren't going to, nor would you want to, have two girls in that group. Also, no one wanted to be Billy. Now, by the time that Time Force came out, I was a bit old for that, but yeah, I can't imagine anyone wanting to play as Trip. Where was I going with this?
Anyway, these slights have forced Trip to perform a training montage. Great. At Ransik's House of Villainy, Frax releases some monster that can drain electricity. Ransik orders him to drain the power from Silver Hills. I'm not exactly sure what Ransik's plan in the past is, but I guess this somehow furthers it.
Back at the clock tower, the Rangers find Trip pinned under some weights. I really wish this episode were only ten minutes long. Trip tries to explain to Lucas his problems, but Lucas decides to flirt with a random woman instead of listening. This somehow leads Trip to purchase the same sort of douchey clothes that Lucas usually wears and try to pick up some women. It goes horribly, horribly wrong, and he ends up pushing a girl into a fountain and getting stung by a bee.
Meanwhile, in a plot that matters, the monster attacks the city's power plant. The monster drains the power from the Rangers' weapons, and Trip manages to lose his blaster when he tries to spin it and thus show his sense of style.
Later, the Rangers are discussing that their blasters don't work and Jen won't let Trip come because he's mildly injured and she's not good at reading her teammates emotions. This leaves Trip to slowly come to grips with his status as the comic relief Ranger. The other Rangers fight the monster again but make no headway.
Back at the clock tower, Trip builds a new gun that will be so powerful as to overload the monster. The Rangers keep fighting the monster, and those stupid kids are still playing Power Rangers and end up at the very power plant where the monster fight is occurring. They managed to get trapped behind some fallen machinery giving off sparks next to a leaking drum of gasoline. I think the moral of today's episode is that you probably shouldn't be storing large containers of highly flammable liquid in places where sparks are a common occurrence.
Trip shows up with the Electro Booster, but can't be trusted to fire it correctly, and so it's given to Wes to defeat the monster. But, well, you know, megazord fight. The Rangers win by electrocuting the monster with some power lines they rip off a transformer, and stock footage.
Then the writers realize that they put those kids in danger in the last act, but the Rangers have no way of knowing that. So Trip's power magically tell him of the kids' predicament and he rescues them.
Later, at the park, the Rangers show their affection for Trip by putting on fake green hair. Er....since green hair seems to be a racial thing for Trip, wouldn't that be like putting on blackface to make a person of African descent feel more welcome? Oh, and the kids that Trip rescued are now all dressed up as the Green Ranger. Show Over!
Next Time: Mr. Collins sets up a PMC!
Original Airdate: 4-14-2001
Last Time: Katie angsted. End of summary.
In the clock tower, Trip is explaining a new weapon, and Wes is bored because he's not quite smart enough to realize that he's going to have to use the damn thing at the end of the episode. They're interrupted by a monster attack. The Rangers show up to confront the monster and Credits? Here? Okay....
Back to the fight, Trip notices that the other Rangers are actually good at fighting, and gets discouraged by his own suckitude. The monster gets killed, but Trip still feels bad. Wait, wait, wait, Trip is having a crisis of confidence because there's the possibility that somewhere down the line his crappiness at fighting might lead to the Rangers getting killed? I don't know, what else you got?
Trip heads to the park and sees four children playing Power Rangers, and guess which color isn't picked. First of all, as a young kid who grew up during the peak of the Rangers' popularity, you weren't going to, nor would you want to, have two girls in that group. Also, no one wanted to be Billy. Now, by the time that Time Force came out, I was a bit old for that, but yeah, I can't imagine anyone wanting to play as Trip. Where was I going with this?
Anyway, these slights have forced Trip to perform a training montage. Great. At Ransik's House of Villainy, Frax releases some monster that can drain electricity. Ransik orders him to drain the power from Silver Hills. I'm not exactly sure what Ransik's plan in the past is, but I guess this somehow furthers it.
Back at the clock tower, the Rangers find Trip pinned under some weights. I really wish this episode were only ten minutes long. Trip tries to explain to Lucas his problems, but Lucas decides to flirt with a random woman instead of listening. This somehow leads Trip to purchase the same sort of douchey clothes that Lucas usually wears and try to pick up some women. It goes horribly, horribly wrong, and he ends up pushing a girl into a fountain and getting stung by a bee.
Meanwhile, in a plot that matters, the monster attacks the city's power plant. The monster drains the power from the Rangers' weapons, and Trip manages to lose his blaster when he tries to spin it and thus show his sense of style.
Later, the Rangers are discussing that their blasters don't work and Jen won't let Trip come because he's mildly injured and she's not good at reading her teammates emotions. This leaves Trip to slowly come to grips with his status as the comic relief Ranger. The other Rangers fight the monster again but make no headway.
Back at the clock tower, Trip builds a new gun that will be so powerful as to overload the monster. The Rangers keep fighting the monster, and those stupid kids are still playing Power Rangers and end up at the very power plant where the monster fight is occurring. They managed to get trapped behind some fallen machinery giving off sparks next to a leaking drum of gasoline. I think the moral of today's episode is that you probably shouldn't be storing large containers of highly flammable liquid in places where sparks are a common occurrence.
Trip shows up with the Electro Booster, but can't be trusted to fire it correctly, and so it's given to Wes to defeat the monster. But, well, you know, megazord fight. The Rangers win by electrocuting the monster with some power lines they rip off a transformer, and stock footage.
Then the writers realize that they put those kids in danger in the last act, but the Rangers have no way of knowing that. So Trip's power magically tell him of the kids' predicament and he rescues them.
Later, at the park, the Rangers show their affection for Trip by putting on fake green hair. Er....since green hair seems to be a racial thing for Trip, wouldn't that be like putting on blackface to make a person of African descent feel more welcome? Oh, and the kids that Trip rescued are now all dressed up as the Green Ranger. Show Over!
Next Time: Mr. Collins sets up a PMC!
Future Unknown
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 10
Original Airdate: 4-7-2001
Last Time: The Rangers got a new megazord and Mr. Collins plans for world domination hit a big set back.
At Ransik's Playhouse, Ransik is dismissive of the ability of robots to do anything useful, and smacks Frax around a bit. Frax ends up landing right in front of the key to the X-Vault, which he later tracks down. What is the X-Vault, you might ask? It's apparently the maximum security wing of the cryo-prison, not that the monsters contained therein will be markedly different in any way, though. Credits!
In the clock tower, Katie is looking at pictures of her family. In a thousand years, people will have lost the ability to take digital photographs and will be forced once again to develop their prints on film. Trip shows up to talk about Katie's family. Meanwhile, the other Rangers recall that the super-drill was reasonably effective last fight, so Jen orders a search for other useful weapons of the time period. Circuit informs the team that according to his records, the super-drill never existed. It turns out that the Rangers have already fucked up history good. Katie does not take the news well. Wes, misapprehending the situation as only he could, argues that it might not be so bad that the future has been irrevocably altered. Katie continues to be bummed, so Wes continues on his increasingly disastrous plan of raising Katie's spirits by accusing her of having something against the year 2001.
Back in the lair, Frax releases another monster, and then proceeds with his plan. It involves bombing the fuck out of a park. The Rangers get called in, and Katie only agrees to go reluctantly.
The Rangers fight the monster, but since it's a first-half monster fight, they are precluded from winning, and so get blown up for a while before the monster escapes. The Rangers regroup and it's time for Katie to have a poorly-timed freakout. She wants to quit the team because she's reasonably sure that her actions are erasing all she knows and cares about from existence, and she isn't particularly enamored of the idea of dying for that. Katie then relents and agrees to fight so long as someone promises that her future won't be destroyed. The conversation doesn't go well, and the other Rangers decide to run off to stop the monster instead.
It's up to Wes to convince Katie to fight, and he, not particularly understanding temporal mechanics or the origins of Katie's worry, explains that Katie should fight because of the people in her photograph. Wait, no, that makes no sense, the issue is that Rangers' actions, no matter how well-intentioned are changing the future and thus may be retroactively preventing Katie's family from having existed, so it's not really something that you can fight to protect, as any action that Katie takes, whether to fight or not, has an unpredictable ripple effect that may change history. Now, if you want to take the position that given that Ransik is already in the past, and therefore history will change regardless of one's actions, and therefore the only thing you can do is protect the people of the past and hope for the best, that's fine, but that doesn't seem to be the moral here.
Katie, however, got a "C-" in Intro to Temporal Mechanics, and proclaims that she has "More Reason to Fight Than Anyone," and then starts shouting towards the heavens over her unwillingness to fight. She decides violence is the only option if she is to protect her family from a world were mutants are free to intermarry. The reassembled Rangers kill the monster.
Megazord fight time, and this much time left in the episode means something's going to happen. The Rangers call out the Time Force Megazord, and Alex launches the Time Shadow, which promptly gets clobbered. Time for the Time Shadow to go obsolete: One episode. The Rangers' weapons aren't powerful enough, so the Rangers combine their two zords to form the Shadow Force Megazord. The Rangers then kill the monster in an extravagantly flashy manner.
Later, Ransik is pleased with the quality of the latest monster, and Frax goes down into the X-Vault to plot against Ransik.
In the clock tower, the Rangers have dinner, and Katie claims that she's okay with being trapped in the past and that her every action may erase her family from reality. Hooray! Show Over!
Next Time: Trip realizes that he's a terrible, terrible Ranger.
Original Airdate: 4-7-2001
Last Time: The Rangers got a new megazord and Mr. Collins plans for world domination hit a big set back.
At Ransik's Playhouse, Ransik is dismissive of the ability of robots to do anything useful, and smacks Frax around a bit. Frax ends up landing right in front of the key to the X-Vault, which he later tracks down. What is the X-Vault, you might ask? It's apparently the maximum security wing of the cryo-prison, not that the monsters contained therein will be markedly different in any way, though. Credits!
In the clock tower, Katie is looking at pictures of her family. In a thousand years, people will have lost the ability to take digital photographs and will be forced once again to develop their prints on film. Trip shows up to talk about Katie's family. Meanwhile, the other Rangers recall that the super-drill was reasonably effective last fight, so Jen orders a search for other useful weapons of the time period. Circuit informs the team that according to his records, the super-drill never existed. It turns out that the Rangers have already fucked up history good. Katie does not take the news well. Wes, misapprehending the situation as only he could, argues that it might not be so bad that the future has been irrevocably altered. Katie continues to be bummed, so Wes continues on his increasingly disastrous plan of raising Katie's spirits by accusing her of having something against the year 2001.
Back in the lair, Frax releases another monster, and then proceeds with his plan. It involves bombing the fuck out of a park. The Rangers get called in, and Katie only agrees to go reluctantly.
The Rangers fight the monster, but since it's a first-half monster fight, they are precluded from winning, and so get blown up for a while before the monster escapes. The Rangers regroup and it's time for Katie to have a poorly-timed freakout. She wants to quit the team because she's reasonably sure that her actions are erasing all she knows and cares about from existence, and she isn't particularly enamored of the idea of dying for that. Katie then relents and agrees to fight so long as someone promises that her future won't be destroyed. The conversation doesn't go well, and the other Rangers decide to run off to stop the monster instead.
It's up to Wes to convince Katie to fight, and he, not particularly understanding temporal mechanics or the origins of Katie's worry, explains that Katie should fight because of the people in her photograph. Wait, no, that makes no sense, the issue is that Rangers' actions, no matter how well-intentioned are changing the future and thus may be retroactively preventing Katie's family from having existed, so it's not really something that you can fight to protect, as any action that Katie takes, whether to fight or not, has an unpredictable ripple effect that may change history. Now, if you want to take the position that given that Ransik is already in the past, and therefore history will change regardless of one's actions, and therefore the only thing you can do is protect the people of the past and hope for the best, that's fine, but that doesn't seem to be the moral here.
Katie, however, got a "C-" in Intro to Temporal Mechanics, and proclaims that she has "More Reason to Fight Than Anyone," and then starts shouting towards the heavens over her unwillingness to fight. She decides violence is the only option if she is to protect her family from a world were mutants are free to intermarry. The reassembled Rangers kill the monster.
Megazord fight time, and this much time left in the episode means something's going to happen. The Rangers call out the Time Force Megazord, and Alex launches the Time Shadow, which promptly gets clobbered. Time for the Time Shadow to go obsolete: One episode. The Rangers' weapons aren't powerful enough, so the Rangers combine their two zords to form the Shadow Force Megazord. The Rangers then kill the monster in an extravagantly flashy manner.
Later, Ransik is pleased with the quality of the latest monster, and Frax goes down into the X-Vault to plot against Ransik.
In the clock tower, the Rangers have dinner, and Katie claims that she's okay with being trapped in the past and that her every action may erase her family from reality. Hooray! Show Over!
Next Time: Trip realizes that he's a terrible, terrible Ranger.
The Time Shadow
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 9
Original Airdate: 3-31-2001
Last Time: It was a Jen episode....I already had to write about it once, and that's enough.
At Mr. Collins corporate headquarters, Mr. Collins is showing off his company's latest invention....a giant drill armed with lasers. Is Mr. Collins secretly a Bond villain? Mr. Collins proclaims that his new weapon will make the world "a safer place." As long as the world cedes control to him by midnight! The scientists describe its features to the press as the camera pans over to a beaker ominously filling full of sand.
Outside the building, the monsters decide more rock, less talk and attack. They first hit the special Japanese-only lobby on the way to the labs. Listen, I know that the writers want to get the most out of their expensive Sentai footage as possibly....but unless these monsters have a special sense that allows them to track and attack concentrations of Japanese people, I don't think that these scenes blend well.
Anyway, the monster makes his way to lab and steals the special sand from before. He then leaves. Credits!
The Rangers attack the monster, but can't stop the monster from handing the super-sand off to Frax. Wes rescues the scientists and recognizes his dad, but since they have a secret identity this season, he can't say anything. The Rangers kill the monster, who appears to be a hammerhead shark armed with a shotgun, who then grows. This proves costly, as the monster has somehow littered the battlefield with giant grenades. No, I don't know when he did it either. The Time Force Megazord gets badly damaged, but the monster still gets killed by the Time Jet.
Meanwhile, in the year 3001, the leader of Time Force orders the megazord repaired at all due time. Now, you might ask yourself, "Wait a minute, it's the future, who the fuck cares exactly when the damn thing is fixed, so long as it eventually is, you can just send it then." But time travel doesn't work that way because then there'd be no opportunity to introduce a new toy.
This conversation is monitored by a shadowy figure in a shadowy room, who starts testing a mysterious giant robot that will save the Rangers in roughly fifteen minutes. This guy will reappear, so I might as well give him a name...Let's see how about the Anonymous Learned Eavesdropping eXchanger, or Alex for short. The new robot is tested, and it looks like a giant robot ninja. Great.
Back in the past, Mr. Collins and the scientist discuss why the villains stole the super-sand. Conclusion: They don't know exactly. In Ransik's Playhouse, Ransik apparently didn't learn the lesson last time his trusted a Cyclobot to give him a massage, and ends up destroying a couple of them in a rage. Frax looks on and it appears that serious cracks have developed in the robot/mutant alliance. Frax turns the sand into a magic crystal. At the clock tower, the Rangers chime into explain to the auidence that the crystal is a powerful energy source that shouldn't be discovered yet, and may change the course of history. It seems like wrecking downtown with giant monster fights every day may also fuck up the timeline a bit.
Anyway, Frax refines the crystal further, and plugs it into his warbot to finally prove that robots are the superior form of life. Using his mighty robo-logic, Frax then cancels the normal-size fight and immediately makes his robot giant. The Rangers call for the Time Force Megazord, but the future men tell them that it's too badly damaged at the moment.
In Mr. Collins office, a scientist bursts in to tell him that the city's under attack. Mr. Collins orders his super-drill launched to give the world a...demonstration of its power. The super-drill engages the giant robot and has some initial success before the robot's shield go up. The robot then destroys the super-drill. Now how will Mr. Collins hold up the American Government for money?
Meanwhile, Alex sees the trouble the Rangers are in, or maybe he's just found a thousand year-old recording and launches the Time Shadow Megazord to help the Rangers. Back in the present, the robot's about to kill the Rangers when the Time Shadow causes a solar eclipse and then emerges to kick the robot's ass. The Rangers catch up to Frax who sends in some Cyclobots to cover his escape.
Later, the Rangers discuss the Time Shadow with Time Force HQ, who apparently know nothing about any new megazord. Elsewhere, Alex contemplates the Time Shadow. Show Over!
Next Time: Katie gets her own episode! Not a good episode, though...
Original Airdate: 3-31-2001
Last Time: It was a Jen episode....I already had to write about it once, and that's enough.
At Mr. Collins corporate headquarters, Mr. Collins is showing off his company's latest invention....a giant drill armed with lasers. Is Mr. Collins secretly a Bond villain? Mr. Collins proclaims that his new weapon will make the world "a safer place." As long as the world cedes control to him by midnight! The scientists describe its features to the press as the camera pans over to a beaker ominously filling full of sand.
Outside the building, the monsters decide more rock, less talk and attack. They first hit the special Japanese-only lobby on the way to the labs. Listen, I know that the writers want to get the most out of their expensive Sentai footage as possibly....but unless these monsters have a special sense that allows them to track and attack concentrations of Japanese people, I don't think that these scenes blend well.
Anyway, the monster makes his way to lab and steals the special sand from before. He then leaves. Credits!
The Rangers attack the monster, but can't stop the monster from handing the super-sand off to Frax. Wes rescues the scientists and recognizes his dad, but since they have a secret identity this season, he can't say anything. The Rangers kill the monster, who appears to be a hammerhead shark armed with a shotgun, who then grows. This proves costly, as the monster has somehow littered the battlefield with giant grenades. No, I don't know when he did it either. The Time Force Megazord gets badly damaged, but the monster still gets killed by the Time Jet.
Meanwhile, in the year 3001, the leader of Time Force orders the megazord repaired at all due time. Now, you might ask yourself, "Wait a minute, it's the future, who the fuck cares exactly when the damn thing is fixed, so long as it eventually is, you can just send it then." But time travel doesn't work that way because then there'd be no opportunity to introduce a new toy.
This conversation is monitored by a shadowy figure in a shadowy room, who starts testing a mysterious giant robot that will save the Rangers in roughly fifteen minutes. This guy will reappear, so I might as well give him a name...Let's see how about the Anonymous Learned Eavesdropping eXchanger, or Alex for short. The new robot is tested, and it looks like a giant robot ninja. Great.
Back in the past, Mr. Collins and the scientist discuss why the villains stole the super-sand. Conclusion: They don't know exactly. In Ransik's Playhouse, Ransik apparently didn't learn the lesson last time his trusted a Cyclobot to give him a massage, and ends up destroying a couple of them in a rage. Frax looks on and it appears that serious cracks have developed in the robot/mutant alliance. Frax turns the sand into a magic crystal. At the clock tower, the Rangers chime into explain to the auidence that the crystal is a powerful energy source that shouldn't be discovered yet, and may change the course of history. It seems like wrecking downtown with giant monster fights every day may also fuck up the timeline a bit.
Anyway, Frax refines the crystal further, and plugs it into his warbot to finally prove that robots are the superior form of life. Using his mighty robo-logic, Frax then cancels the normal-size fight and immediately makes his robot giant. The Rangers call for the Time Force Megazord, but the future men tell them that it's too badly damaged at the moment.
In Mr. Collins office, a scientist bursts in to tell him that the city's under attack. Mr. Collins orders his super-drill launched to give the world a...demonstration of its power. The super-drill engages the giant robot and has some initial success before the robot's shield go up. The robot then destroys the super-drill. Now how will Mr. Collins hold up the American Government for money?
Meanwhile, Alex sees the trouble the Rangers are in, or maybe he's just found a thousand year-old recording and launches the Time Shadow Megazord to help the Rangers. Back in the present, the robot's about to kill the Rangers when the Time Shadow causes a solar eclipse and then emerges to kick the robot's ass. The Rangers catch up to Frax who sends in some Cyclobots to cover his escape.
Later, the Rangers discuss the Time Shadow with Time Force HQ, who apparently know nothing about any new megazord. Elsewhere, Alex contemplates the Time Shadow. Show Over!
Next Time: Katie gets her own episode! Not a good episode, though...
Friday, July 30, 2010
Jen's Revenge
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 8
Original Airdate: 3-24-2001
Last Time: Trip showed us how very, very special he was.
At the clock tower, Trip and Circuit check on the mutants they've captured and Wes reveals that he sleeps in silk pajamas. Elsewhere, Jen is having her usual breakdown about Ransik killing Alex while hitting a tree for "training." Wes shows up and Jen hurts him a bit, also in the guise of "training." Credits!
At Ransik's Playhouse, Ransik revives a catfish monster and has to pay him in order to kill the Rangers. Is that what he's stealing the money for? I mean, he hold the mutants in prison, seems like he'd only need to promise them their freedom in order to get them to do his dirty work. The catfish kills some Cyclobots, which distresses Frax, because he's not exactly thrilled with the casual destruction of robots. Oh, and the monster's name is Fatcatfish.
Anyway, Nadira takes Fatcatfish shopping with the money that Ransik gave them and....you know, I don't even know what the hell the villains are doing with their money anymore. They run out of money, and Nadira abandons him, so Fatcatish decides to destroy Silver Hills. The Rangers show up almost immediately and fight him. Fatcatfish has apparently fought Jen before, and they flash back to the time that Fatcatfish was shot about a billion times by Alex. Fatcatfish decides to taunt Jen about Alex being murdered, which seemingly destroys the last bit of sanity remaining in the Pink Ranger and she decides to kill Fatcatfish in cold blood. Now, in any other season, that'd be fine, this season the Rangers have been capturing the monsters, so the other Rangers stop Jen from killing him. Fatcatfish runs away, and Jen swears that she's going to kill the monster.
Elsewhere, Frax catches up to Fatcatfish, and uses some gadget to copy his appearance and voice. At the park, Jen takes a moment to have another angst-filled flashback about Alex, and then Frax uses the gadget from before to lure Jen into a trap using the image of Fatcatfish.
Later, Frax's trap has brought Fatcatfish, Ransik and Jen all to the same location. Jen fights some Cyclobots and Fatcatfish escapes. Back at the clock tower, the Rangers notice that Jen's missing. Back at the fight, Ransik demolishes Jen, but can't kill her because of an attack of his bubbling flesh illness. The Rangers use this opportunity to rescue Jen and escape.
The next day, Fatcatfish is trying to confront Frax when Jen decides to try and kill the monster again. Once again, the Rangers realize that Jen is missing. The Rangers arrive just in time to see Jen preparing to blow Fatcatfish's brain out. Wes asks Jen what would Alex do. Er...I don't know that you want to aspire to ape the decisionmaking of a guy who was brutally murdered by the very same villain that you're trying to capture. Anyway, there's still a regular and megazord battle and Fatcatfish is refrozen. I guess that's marginally more humane than killing him.
Anyway, everyone's happy that Jen didn't commit murder. Jen declares that she's happy that Wes isn't like Alex....yeah, seeing as Alex is dead, I'd agree. The other Rangers mock their emotional moment, as well they should. Show Over!
Next Time: It's never too early for more toys!
Original Airdate: 3-24-2001
Last Time: Trip showed us how very, very special he was.
At the clock tower, Trip and Circuit check on the mutants they've captured and Wes reveals that he sleeps in silk pajamas. Elsewhere, Jen is having her usual breakdown about Ransik killing Alex while hitting a tree for "training." Wes shows up and Jen hurts him a bit, also in the guise of "training." Credits!
At Ransik's Playhouse, Ransik revives a catfish monster and has to pay him in order to kill the Rangers. Is that what he's stealing the money for? I mean, he hold the mutants in prison, seems like he'd only need to promise them their freedom in order to get them to do his dirty work. The catfish kills some Cyclobots, which distresses Frax, because he's not exactly thrilled with the casual destruction of robots. Oh, and the monster's name is Fatcatfish.
Anyway, Nadira takes Fatcatfish shopping with the money that Ransik gave them and....you know, I don't even know what the hell the villains are doing with their money anymore. They run out of money, and Nadira abandons him, so Fatcatish decides to destroy Silver Hills. The Rangers show up almost immediately and fight him. Fatcatfish has apparently fought Jen before, and they flash back to the time that Fatcatfish was shot about a billion times by Alex. Fatcatfish decides to taunt Jen about Alex being murdered, which seemingly destroys the last bit of sanity remaining in the Pink Ranger and she decides to kill Fatcatfish in cold blood. Now, in any other season, that'd be fine, this season the Rangers have been capturing the monsters, so the other Rangers stop Jen from killing him. Fatcatfish runs away, and Jen swears that she's going to kill the monster.
Elsewhere, Frax catches up to Fatcatfish, and uses some gadget to copy his appearance and voice. At the park, Jen takes a moment to have another angst-filled flashback about Alex, and then Frax uses the gadget from before to lure Jen into a trap using the image of Fatcatfish.
Later, Frax's trap has brought Fatcatfish, Ransik and Jen all to the same location. Jen fights some Cyclobots and Fatcatfish escapes. Back at the clock tower, the Rangers notice that Jen's missing. Back at the fight, Ransik demolishes Jen, but can't kill her because of an attack of his bubbling flesh illness. The Rangers use this opportunity to rescue Jen and escape.
The next day, Fatcatfish is trying to confront Frax when Jen decides to try and kill the monster again. Once again, the Rangers realize that Jen is missing. The Rangers arrive just in time to see Jen preparing to blow Fatcatfish's brain out. Wes asks Jen what would Alex do. Er...I don't know that you want to aspire to ape the decisionmaking of a guy who was brutally murdered by the very same villain that you're trying to capture. Anyway, there's still a regular and megazord battle and Fatcatfish is refrozen. I guess that's marginally more humane than killing him.
Anyway, everyone's happy that Jen didn't commit murder. Jen declares that she's happy that Wes isn't like Alex....yeah, seeing as Alex is dead, I'd agree. The other Rangers mock their emotional moment, as well they should. Show Over!
Next Time: It's never too early for more toys!
Short Circuited
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 7
Original Airdate: 3-17-2001
Last Time: Wes stole ten million dollars....because he's a hero!
In a cold opening that proudly declares, "We paid for the fucking Sentai footage, we're going to use the fucking Sentai footate, no matter what," the Rangers kill him both in regular and family size. In a vain attempt to pretend that this sequence has something to do with the rest of the story, Nadira shows up to claim that Circuit, the mechanical owl is somehow important to the team's success. Is it? Seriously? It's like a more annoying version of Alpha...I mean, I can tolerate a few scenes of the owl each episode, but any more than that....Credits!
In the clock tower, Trip is performing maintenance on Circuit and accidentally ruins Lucas and Wes' game of poker with his telepathy. Lucas covers up Trip's forehead gem with a piece of tape, and that somehow turns off Trip's telepathy completely. Wow....that's....the worst superpower in history. "I can read minds, but not always, and usually not when it would be helpful to the plot...and if anything covers up my garish forehead gem in any way, my powers don't work."
At Ransik's Playhouse, Nadira calls upon Medicon, the monster of today's episode. Ten doctor-related puns occur in the next thirty seconds. Also, while Ransik is here, he doesn't say anything. I guess they were paying Vernon Wells by the line.
In town, Trip goes for a walk with Circuit. Suddenly, Nadira in a disguise starts running from some Cyclobots. Trip being the mensch that he is, decides to help her. Nadira reveals herself to Trip, but then decides to run another con on Trip and pretends that she wants to defect. Oh, Trip could take the tape off of his gem and read her mind to verify, but that would require basic logic. Instead, Trip trusts Nadira implicitly. Wait a minute, I can understand why Trip would be so stupid as to not use his powers, but wouldn't Nadira stop and think, "I probably shouldn't try to baldly lie to a guy who can read minds." Anyway, the writers apparently think that Trip hasn't been quite stupid enough in this episode, so Nadira tricks him yet again into leaving Circuit behind when he gets her a hot dog....even though he already got her a hot dog and she's holding it as she asks for another one. I mean, there's an idiot plot and then there's....this. Nadira kidnaps Circuit and teleports away.
Back at some base, Medicon gives Circuit the equivalent of brain damage, leading the robot bird to declare, "Five times five is green." Shit, I don't the Rangers can handle Circuit's retardation and Trip at the same time. Medicon also starts his attack on the city, and the other Rangers wonder where Trip is. Jen calls him and he decides against informing the team that he lost Circuit. The monster this week is especially immobile, and fights accordingly. Anyway, the Rangers blast him into giant mode, and since the Rangers need Circuit to call on the Time Force Megazord....it's kind of a problem. Lucas rips the tape off Trip's head because he now realizes that Trip's grasp on reality is such that he can't afford to fuck around with Trip's head.
Trip then uses his powers to locate Circuit....no, I don't know how a telepath was able to read the thoughts of a mechanical owl. Trip shows up to rescue Circuit and succeeds, mainly because the only things standing in his way were a couple of Cyclobots and Nadira. Even then, though, he still has a tough time of it. Trip fixes Circuit, and that means we can finally hurry this episode the hell along. The merge the zords into a giant plane and summon a tornado to hurt Medicon before they finish him off. Awesome, more stock footage to pad out fight scenes!
Later, the Rangers talk with Circuit about the events of the episode, and the Rangers forgive Trip because they don't have a replacement on hand. Trip then chooses not to use his powers to warn Lucas that he's about to step in dog shit. Thankfully, Show Over!
Next Time: Jen decides that she really needs to get started getting revenge for Alex's death. It only took her eight episodes.
Original Airdate: 3-17-2001
Last Time: Wes stole ten million dollars....because he's a hero!
In a cold opening that proudly declares, "We paid for the fucking Sentai footage, we're going to use the fucking Sentai footate, no matter what," the Rangers kill him both in regular and family size. In a vain attempt to pretend that this sequence has something to do with the rest of the story, Nadira shows up to claim that Circuit, the mechanical owl is somehow important to the team's success. Is it? Seriously? It's like a more annoying version of Alpha...I mean, I can tolerate a few scenes of the owl each episode, but any more than that....Credits!
In the clock tower, Trip is performing maintenance on Circuit and accidentally ruins Lucas and Wes' game of poker with his telepathy. Lucas covers up Trip's forehead gem with a piece of tape, and that somehow turns off Trip's telepathy completely. Wow....that's....the worst superpower in history. "I can read minds, but not always, and usually not when it would be helpful to the plot...and if anything covers up my garish forehead gem in any way, my powers don't work."
At Ransik's Playhouse, Nadira calls upon Medicon, the monster of today's episode. Ten doctor-related puns occur in the next thirty seconds. Also, while Ransik is here, he doesn't say anything. I guess they were paying Vernon Wells by the line.
In town, Trip goes for a walk with Circuit. Suddenly, Nadira in a disguise starts running from some Cyclobots. Trip being the mensch that he is, decides to help her. Nadira reveals herself to Trip, but then decides to run another con on Trip and pretends that she wants to defect. Oh, Trip could take the tape off of his gem and read her mind to verify, but that would require basic logic. Instead, Trip trusts Nadira implicitly. Wait a minute, I can understand why Trip would be so stupid as to not use his powers, but wouldn't Nadira stop and think, "I probably shouldn't try to baldly lie to a guy who can read minds." Anyway, the writers apparently think that Trip hasn't been quite stupid enough in this episode, so Nadira tricks him yet again into leaving Circuit behind when he gets her a hot dog....even though he already got her a hot dog and she's holding it as she asks for another one. I mean, there's an idiot plot and then there's....this. Nadira kidnaps Circuit and teleports away.
Back at some base, Medicon gives Circuit the equivalent of brain damage, leading the robot bird to declare, "Five times five is green." Shit, I don't the Rangers can handle Circuit's retardation and Trip at the same time. Medicon also starts his attack on the city, and the other Rangers wonder where Trip is. Jen calls him and he decides against informing the team that he lost Circuit. The monster this week is especially immobile, and fights accordingly. Anyway, the Rangers blast him into giant mode, and since the Rangers need Circuit to call on the Time Force Megazord....it's kind of a problem. Lucas rips the tape off Trip's head because he now realizes that Trip's grasp on reality is such that he can't afford to fuck around with Trip's head.
Trip then uses his powers to locate Circuit....no, I don't know how a telepath was able to read the thoughts of a mechanical owl. Trip shows up to rescue Circuit and succeeds, mainly because the only things standing in his way were a couple of Cyclobots and Nadira. Even then, though, he still has a tough time of it. Trip fixes Circuit, and that means we can finally hurry this episode the hell along. The merge the zords into a giant plane and summon a tornado to hurt Medicon before they finish him off. Awesome, more stock footage to pad out fight scenes!
Later, the Rangers talk with Circuit about the events of the episode, and the Rangers forgive Trip because they don't have a replacement on hand. Trip then chooses not to use his powers to warn Lucas that he's about to step in dog shit. Thankfully, Show Over!
Next Time: Jen decides that she really needs to get started getting revenge for Alex's death. It only took her eight episodes.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A Parting of the Ways
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 6
Original Airdate: 3-10-2001
Last Time: Lucas badly injured a man in a car accident, but he did for all of the right reasons...to save precious, precious money.
The Rangers are fighting a monster, who swiftly grows. Wes calls for the Time Force Megazord and shrinks him back into action figure mode. Show Ov-wait....Credits! Here? But the monster...
Wes is hanging out in the clock tower musing about the unpredictability of fate. Jen shows up and they do a little flirting. Er....are we absolutely sure the show isn't over? Later, Wes and Mr. Collins have a talk about Wes eventually taking over the family megacorporation. Some kids are playing baseball and accidentally ding Mr. Collins' limo. The plutocrat takes the ball as recompense. Wes protests, but Mr. Collins stands firm...and then gives the ball to Wes for disposal. This, of course, leads to Wes giving the ball back to the kids.
At Ransik's Playhouse, the big guy himself is trying to enjoy a message, but it turns out that Cyclobots suck at Shia-Tsu. Nadira walks in to announce a new plan, it involves kidnapping some one and holding them for ransom. She trots out the monster of the week, Tentaclaw, who once kidnapped some mayor in the year 3000.
Tentaclaw immediately kidnaps a busload of children...meh, it's not the worst idea I suppose. Circuit alerts the Rangers to the kidnapping and they head out. The Rangers use the Vector Cycles, but get picked off by Tentaclaw, who leaves behind a ransom note. Apparently a busload of kids is worth ten million dollars.
At stately Wes Manor, Mr. Collins is busy buying out companies when Wes shows up to request the ransom money. Mr. Collins, heartless cretin that he is, wants to call the police. What an asshole, shifting the burden of dealing with crime to the municipal agency expressly given the authority over such matters. Of course, it turns out that the companies that Mr. Collins are buying are worth exactly ten million dollars. This leads Wes to have a moronic conversation with the butler about "finding your own path" or some bullshit like that.
Elsewhere, Nadira is upset that the children are relatively worthless as hostages. Back at the mansion, Wes has an idea: Wire Fraud! He lies to the businessmen his dad was meeting with in order to get the check and then runs off. Er...unless the check was made out to cash, I don't think he's thought this plan through.
But, in fact, the check somehow clears, and Wes brings the money to meeting point. He hands over the cash to Nadira who promptly orders the children murdered. I think Mr. Collins may have been onto something when he suggested calling the police. Fortunately, the other Rangers are able to find the kids at that exact moment, and Wes is able to steal the money back from Nadira.
Wes rejoins the other Rangers and is able to fight off Tentaclaw and rescue the children. They eventually kill Tentaclaw, and that means I get to see the zord transformation sequence...for the second time this episode. On the plus side, Mode Blue actually works this time and Tentaclaw is sent back to the horrible, horrible future.
Later, Mr. Collins isn't thrilled that Wes stole ten million dollars from him. Some reporters show up and laud Mr. Collins for providing the money to ransom the children. Mr. Collins, realizing that it probably wouldn't help anyone to explain that his fuck-up of a son stole the money from other businessmen, decides to lie and say that it was his plan all along. Because, you know, the truth would probably result in a felony conviction for Wes. Ah, but Wes, being the supreme dick that he is, decides to announce that his father is donating the money to charity, and then decides to effectively cut himself off from his father's fortune. Wes then moves into the clock tower, because finding his own path apparently involves copying other people's paths.
Next Time: I'm going to go ahead and guess that another Ranger commits a serious crime, but since they're heroes, nothing comes of it.
Original Airdate: 3-10-2001
Last Time: Lucas badly injured a man in a car accident, but he did for all of the right reasons...to save precious, precious money.
The Rangers are fighting a monster, who swiftly grows. Wes calls for the Time Force Megazord and shrinks him back into action figure mode. Show Ov-wait....Credits! Here? But the monster...
Wes is hanging out in the clock tower musing about the unpredictability of fate. Jen shows up and they do a little flirting. Er....are we absolutely sure the show isn't over? Later, Wes and Mr. Collins have a talk about Wes eventually taking over the family megacorporation. Some kids are playing baseball and accidentally ding Mr. Collins' limo. The plutocrat takes the ball as recompense. Wes protests, but Mr. Collins stands firm...and then gives the ball to Wes for disposal. This, of course, leads to Wes giving the ball back to the kids.
At Ransik's Playhouse, the big guy himself is trying to enjoy a message, but it turns out that Cyclobots suck at Shia-Tsu. Nadira walks in to announce a new plan, it involves kidnapping some one and holding them for ransom. She trots out the monster of the week, Tentaclaw, who once kidnapped some mayor in the year 3000.
Tentaclaw immediately kidnaps a busload of children...meh, it's not the worst idea I suppose. Circuit alerts the Rangers to the kidnapping and they head out. The Rangers use the Vector Cycles, but get picked off by Tentaclaw, who leaves behind a ransom note. Apparently a busload of kids is worth ten million dollars.
At stately Wes Manor, Mr. Collins is busy buying out companies when Wes shows up to request the ransom money. Mr. Collins, heartless cretin that he is, wants to call the police. What an asshole, shifting the burden of dealing with crime to the municipal agency expressly given the authority over such matters. Of course, it turns out that the companies that Mr. Collins are buying are worth exactly ten million dollars. This leads Wes to have a moronic conversation with the butler about "finding your own path" or some bullshit like that.
Elsewhere, Nadira is upset that the children are relatively worthless as hostages. Back at the mansion, Wes has an idea: Wire Fraud! He lies to the businessmen his dad was meeting with in order to get the check and then runs off. Er...unless the check was made out to cash, I don't think he's thought this plan through.
But, in fact, the check somehow clears, and Wes brings the money to meeting point. He hands over the cash to Nadira who promptly orders the children murdered. I think Mr. Collins may have been onto something when he suggested calling the police. Fortunately, the other Rangers are able to find the kids at that exact moment, and Wes is able to steal the money back from Nadira.
Wes rejoins the other Rangers and is able to fight off Tentaclaw and rescue the children. They eventually kill Tentaclaw, and that means I get to see the zord transformation sequence...for the second time this episode. On the plus side, Mode Blue actually works this time and Tentaclaw is sent back to the horrible, horrible future.
Later, Mr. Collins isn't thrilled that Wes stole ten million dollars from him. Some reporters show up and laud Mr. Collins for providing the money to ransom the children. Mr. Collins, realizing that it probably wouldn't help anyone to explain that his fuck-up of a son stole the money from other businessmen, decides to lie and say that it was his plan all along. Because, you know, the truth would probably result in a felony conviction for Wes. Ah, but Wes, being the supreme dick that he is, decides to announce that his father is donating the money to charity, and then decides to effectively cut himself off from his father's fortune. Wes then moves into the clock tower, because finding his own path apparently involves copying other people's paths.
Next Time: I'm going to go ahead and guess that another Ranger commits a serious crime, but since they're heroes, nothing comes of it.
A Blue Streak
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 5
Original Airdate: 3-3-2001
Last Time: We learned that the Rangers weren't so much heroes as they were ruthless enforcers of genetic purity.
At the clock tower, the Rangers are tidying up in front of the building when Wes drives up in his convertible. Lucas wants to go for a spin, and Wes explains to him how a car works, because he's under the impression that 1000 years in the future, transportation will be markedly different. That's not terrible logic, but it proves to be wrong because, as Trip explains to the audience, Lucas is a "championship race car driver." Really? I mean, mankind is capable of creating genetically perfect humans but some for of NASCAR is around? Lucas puts on some racing gloves and speeds off with a visibly confused Wes in the passenger seat. Credits! Sweet, merciful Credits!
Lucas starts tearing around a residential neighborhood like a madman, and a cop pulls him over for his insanely reckless driving. The officer asks for Lucas' license, and Lucas gives him his ID from the future, which identifies him as a race car driver. In the future, professional race car drivers will finally be free from the traffic laws that unfairly bring them to the level of the average driver. Understandably, the cop doesn't accept it, and gives him a ticket for all of his infractions...and then lets him go...even though he doesn't have a license.
At Ransik's Playhouse, the villains are discussing how to conquer Silver Hills. Frax suggests they starve them out, whereas Nadira suggests stealing more money. Both are terrible ideas, but Nadira's wins out because it doesn't require expensive siege engines to complete. Nadira manages to fuck up her own idea almost instantly, however, by choosing to use Mantamobile, who's a renowned car thief. Okay, I guess the villains are going to start a chop shop.
Back at the clock tower, Wes is quizzing Lucas on the meaning of street signs. Lucas is upset because he's a race car driver, and shouldn't be required to know the rules of the road. On his roads, there is only one rule: Don't get in Lucas' way. Elsewhere, Mantamobile uses his tentacles to soup up to cars to serve as getaways vehicles....even though the villains can teleport.
At the DMV, the world's worst plot continues to edge forward as Lucas prepares for his driver's test. Lucas' driving tester is a guy with thick glasses and a bowtie, just so everyone's crystal clear in understanding that he's a nerd who doesn't understand the spirit of the race. He starts talking about being "careful" because he's lame....or because he doesn't want to die in a hellish collision. Then again, only lame people are afraid of dying in firey car wrecks.
On the interstate, Nadira uses her new car to rob an armored car. Lucas observes this while finishing his driving test, and immediately speeds after them. The driving instructor freaks out, because he'd prefer not being in a deadly high-speed chase, but Lucas cares not for the lives of civilians, and presses on. Besides, the driving instructor wears glasses, and thus is not genetically perfect, therefore, not a real person in Lucas' world. Lucas eventually crashes into some boxes and has to stop the chase.
Back at the clock tower, Wes and Lucas explain the situation, and Trip pulls out the new Vector Cycles. Toys for everyone! In the city, Nadira robs a bank. You know, I'm a bit confused. The villains never actually buy anything with the money they steal, so I can't help but wonder exactly what steal vast quantities of paper money is supposed to do? I guess they're trying to create deflation by reducing the overall money supply, and thus stunt America's economic growth so much that it turns the country over to Ransik out of desperation.
Anyway, the Rangers show up in their Vector Cycles and another chase scene breaks out. They eventually stop Nadira and Mantamobile, and fight the latter. Some Cyclobots also show up to fill out the fight scene. Wes and Lucas beat the monster, but it's not enough, so the Rangers must combine their Power Weapons to finish the job.....and it's time for the bonus megazord round.
The transformation takes forever, as usual, and they choose to use Mode Blue first. Mode Blue never, ever, ever works, and is basically just a stall tactic before the Rangers go into Mode Red. They eventually do shift into Mode Red and Time Sword the monster back into its action figure form. The Rangers make a bit of small talk about why the zords also have to remain in the future when they aren't being used. It turns out that it's because the past lack the technology to maintatin.
Later, we see the cowardly driving instructor and, as a result of Lucas' driving, he now has his arm in a sling, his head bandaged and a protector around his neck. Lucas, you're basically a tremendous dick. Lucas wants to take the test again, and the driving instructor runs off because, you know, last time he was in a car with Lucas he was horribly injured. According the musical cues, however, this is a humorous situation. So, I guess the moral of today's episode is that it's wrong to driver recklessly....unless you're a race car driver, then it's mandatory at all times. Credits!
Next Time: The Rangers continue to make the city of Silver Hills a terrible place to live!
Original Airdate: 3-3-2001
Last Time: We learned that the Rangers weren't so much heroes as they were ruthless enforcers of genetic purity.
At the clock tower, the Rangers are tidying up in front of the building when Wes drives up in his convertible. Lucas wants to go for a spin, and Wes explains to him how a car works, because he's under the impression that 1000 years in the future, transportation will be markedly different. That's not terrible logic, but it proves to be wrong because, as Trip explains to the audience, Lucas is a "championship race car driver." Really? I mean, mankind is capable of creating genetically perfect humans but some for of NASCAR is around? Lucas puts on some racing gloves and speeds off with a visibly confused Wes in the passenger seat. Credits! Sweet, merciful Credits!
Lucas starts tearing around a residential neighborhood like a madman, and a cop pulls him over for his insanely reckless driving. The officer asks for Lucas' license, and Lucas gives him his ID from the future, which identifies him as a race car driver. In the future, professional race car drivers will finally be free from the traffic laws that unfairly bring them to the level of the average driver. Understandably, the cop doesn't accept it, and gives him a ticket for all of his infractions...and then lets him go...even though he doesn't have a license.
At Ransik's Playhouse, the villains are discussing how to conquer Silver Hills. Frax suggests they starve them out, whereas Nadira suggests stealing more money. Both are terrible ideas, but Nadira's wins out because it doesn't require expensive siege engines to complete. Nadira manages to fuck up her own idea almost instantly, however, by choosing to use Mantamobile, who's a renowned car thief. Okay, I guess the villains are going to start a chop shop.
Back at the clock tower, Wes is quizzing Lucas on the meaning of street signs. Lucas is upset because he's a race car driver, and shouldn't be required to know the rules of the road. On his roads, there is only one rule: Don't get in Lucas' way. Elsewhere, Mantamobile uses his tentacles to soup up to cars to serve as getaways vehicles....even though the villains can teleport.
At the DMV, the world's worst plot continues to edge forward as Lucas prepares for his driver's test. Lucas' driving tester is a guy with thick glasses and a bowtie, just so everyone's crystal clear in understanding that he's a nerd who doesn't understand the spirit of the race. He starts talking about being "careful" because he's lame....or because he doesn't want to die in a hellish collision. Then again, only lame people are afraid of dying in firey car wrecks.
On the interstate, Nadira uses her new car to rob an armored car. Lucas observes this while finishing his driving test, and immediately speeds after them. The driving instructor freaks out, because he'd prefer not being in a deadly high-speed chase, but Lucas cares not for the lives of civilians, and presses on. Besides, the driving instructor wears glasses, and thus is not genetically perfect, therefore, not a real person in Lucas' world. Lucas eventually crashes into some boxes and has to stop the chase.
Back at the clock tower, Wes and Lucas explain the situation, and Trip pulls out the new Vector Cycles. Toys for everyone! In the city, Nadira robs a bank. You know, I'm a bit confused. The villains never actually buy anything with the money they steal, so I can't help but wonder exactly what steal vast quantities of paper money is supposed to do? I guess they're trying to create deflation by reducing the overall money supply, and thus stunt America's economic growth so much that it turns the country over to Ransik out of desperation.
Anyway, the Rangers show up in their Vector Cycles and another chase scene breaks out. They eventually stop Nadira and Mantamobile, and fight the latter. Some Cyclobots also show up to fill out the fight scene. Wes and Lucas beat the monster, but it's not enough, so the Rangers must combine their Power Weapons to finish the job.....and it's time for the bonus megazord round.
The transformation takes forever, as usual, and they choose to use Mode Blue first. Mode Blue never, ever, ever works, and is basically just a stall tactic before the Rangers go into Mode Red. They eventually do shift into Mode Red and Time Sword the monster back into its action figure form. The Rangers make a bit of small talk about why the zords also have to remain in the future when they aren't being used. It turns out that it's because the past lack the technology to maintatin.
Later, we see the cowardly driving instructor and, as a result of Lucas' driving, he now has his arm in a sling, his head bandaged and a protector around his neck. Lucas, you're basically a tremendous dick. Lucas wants to take the test again, and the driving instructor runs off because, you know, last time he was in a car with Lucas he was horribly injured. According the musical cues, however, this is a humorous situation. So, I guess the moral of today's episode is that it's wrong to driver recklessly....unless you're a race car driver, then it's mandatory at all times. Credits!
Next Time: The Rangers continue to make the city of Silver Hills a terrible place to live!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Ransik Lives
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 4
Original Airdate: 2-24-01
Last Time: The Rangers got some new toys, but nothing terribly exciting. Also, we learned Jen is not exactly a people person.
At the ruins of the time ship, the Rangers realize they have no food or shelter. Fortunately, Wes shows up to offer a helping hand. Unfortunately, Wes is completely fucking insane. He's gotten them an old clock tower. Damn it, Wes, think before you act! Oh, and the clock tower is many stories tall yet features no elevator. They eventually reach some living quarters at the top that is filled with trash...and rats....and pigeons. Jen, being as nuts as Wes, thinks that it's perfect because from up there "we can see everyone, but no one can see us." That....doesn't sound right. Credits!
In the Tower of Poor Real Estate Planning, the Rangers are cleaning up. In Ransik's Playhouse, Nadira is watching TV until Ransik shows up to explain his new plan to announce his arrival to the world, but is unsure how. Then he notices Nadira watching TV and has a brilliant plan...try and guess what it is. Ransik also orders another monster be thawed to help.
Back in the clock tower, Katie uses her super-strength to to hang a bell....in the middle of where they'll be living. Brilliant! Wes shows up with some clothes to replace their white jumpsuits. Unsurpisingly, Jen's outfit includes a tight, short plaid miniskirt. Oh, Wes, never change. Trip is hungry and starts hallucinating about eating a pigeon. Wes and Jen decide to get some food. On their way out, though, they're stopped by some elderly gentleman. Apparently the clock tower used to be the home of an odd job agency, and the old man wants to hire them to paint a television studio. Jen agrees, and really? Is that how we're going to do things show? The next person who says that this episode is a cut above other Power Rangers seasons is a fucking liar. That means you, Linkara! (Note: Linkara had not actually posted his review of this season as of the time I wrote this recap, but I'm reasonably sure that he'll give it a positive review, despite the fact that the heroes are eugenicists from the future who want to send genetic rejects to prison camps.)
And a-painting the Rangers go! Wes kind of sucks at it, due to being rich, and thus out of touch with blue-collar work. Jen doesn't suck, even though she is from the year 3000, when such work is exclusively the province of space-day-laborers from Ragner VII. Jen goes off to get some paint just in time for the Cyclobots to invade the station. To their credits, they swiftly capture Wes and Nadira taunts Wes for a bit. (A word on Nadira's abilites: Remember that episode of Family Guy where the Griffins got superpowers? (Subnote: I won't judge you for watching Family Guy as when I was a teenager, I thought it was brilliant too.) Well, the joke was that everyone else got awesome superpowers except Meg, who could only grow out her fingernails superfast. Well, that's also Nadira's mutant power.)
Anyway, Ransik takes control of the TV station and informs the people of Silver Hills that he now owns everything and everyone in the city, and that the city has one hour to surrender before he blows it up...even though he just said it all already belonged to him. Wes is brought before Ransik, and the villain is pleased. Meanwhile, the other Rangers, having seen the broadcast, begin to converge on the studio.
But before we get to the fight, it's time for Storytime with Mr. R! In the future, mankind will find a way to ensure that each baby is genetically perfect, and their attributes are hand-picked by their parents. Yes, that's right, the future is going to be exactly like Gattaca, except this time we're supposed to root for the genetic supermen. But then something went wrong and Ransik, the world's first mutant was born. Unfortunately, Ransik didn't mix well with the genetically perfect men of his age and was rejected by society, so he gathered all of the mutants to help uplift them from the underclass. Unfortunately, Time Force got involved and here we are. Er...I think I kind of want to root for Ransik. Also, if everyone in the future is genetically perfect, and Wes is genetically identical to Alex, then isn't Wes genetically perfect as well? That can't be right.
Anyway, the Rangers, now known as Purity Squad Prime, assemble at the studio and Ransik decides to leave. The monster gets left behind to fight the Rangers, and the fight quickly escalates to giant-size. One thing I miss about earlier episode was their superior background music. This season's stuff sounds like the music from a JRPG in 2001...and not a good JRPG. The monster gets reduced back into its shrunken state so it can spend eternity on ice.
Later, the old man from before is pleased with how the painting went. Oh, he's probably not quite as happy that his studio was invaded by monsters, but the paint looks great! Later, Wes decides to ask Jen about the horrible, horrible future. Jen explains that Ransik is intrinsically evil and rejected the help of others. Why do I have the feeling that the "help" in question was a merciful purging of his life. Anyway, the Purity Squad enjoys some pizza. Show Over!
Next Time: Lucas gets his own episode....and we learn just how much of a mistake that is.
Original Airdate: 2-24-01
Last Time: The Rangers got some new toys, but nothing terribly exciting. Also, we learned Jen is not exactly a people person.
At the ruins of the time ship, the Rangers realize they have no food or shelter. Fortunately, Wes shows up to offer a helping hand. Unfortunately, Wes is completely fucking insane. He's gotten them an old clock tower. Damn it, Wes, think before you act! Oh, and the clock tower is many stories tall yet features no elevator. They eventually reach some living quarters at the top that is filled with trash...and rats....and pigeons. Jen, being as nuts as Wes, thinks that it's perfect because from up there "we can see everyone, but no one can see us." That....doesn't sound right. Credits!
In the Tower of Poor Real Estate Planning, the Rangers are cleaning up. In Ransik's Playhouse, Nadira is watching TV until Ransik shows up to explain his new plan to announce his arrival to the world, but is unsure how. Then he notices Nadira watching TV and has a brilliant plan...try and guess what it is. Ransik also orders another monster be thawed to help.
Back in the clock tower, Katie uses her super-strength to to hang a bell....in the middle of where they'll be living. Brilliant! Wes shows up with some clothes to replace their white jumpsuits. Unsurpisingly, Jen's outfit includes a tight, short plaid miniskirt. Oh, Wes, never change. Trip is hungry and starts hallucinating about eating a pigeon. Wes and Jen decide to get some food. On their way out, though, they're stopped by some elderly gentleman. Apparently the clock tower used to be the home of an odd job agency, and the old man wants to hire them to paint a television studio. Jen agrees, and really? Is that how we're going to do things show? The next person who says that this episode is a cut above other Power Rangers seasons is a fucking liar. That means you, Linkara! (Note: Linkara had not actually posted his review of this season as of the time I wrote this recap, but I'm reasonably sure that he'll give it a positive review, despite the fact that the heroes are eugenicists from the future who want to send genetic rejects to prison camps.)
And a-painting the Rangers go! Wes kind of sucks at it, due to being rich, and thus out of touch with blue-collar work. Jen doesn't suck, even though she is from the year 3000, when such work is exclusively the province of space-day-laborers from Ragner VII. Jen goes off to get some paint just in time for the Cyclobots to invade the station. To their credits, they swiftly capture Wes and Nadira taunts Wes for a bit. (A word on Nadira's abilites: Remember that episode of Family Guy where the Griffins got superpowers? (Subnote: I won't judge you for watching Family Guy as when I was a teenager, I thought it was brilliant too.) Well, the joke was that everyone else got awesome superpowers except Meg, who could only grow out her fingernails superfast. Well, that's also Nadira's mutant power.)
Anyway, Ransik takes control of the TV station and informs the people of Silver Hills that he now owns everything and everyone in the city, and that the city has one hour to surrender before he blows it up...even though he just said it all already belonged to him. Wes is brought before Ransik, and the villain is pleased. Meanwhile, the other Rangers, having seen the broadcast, begin to converge on the studio.
But before we get to the fight, it's time for Storytime with Mr. R! In the future, mankind will find a way to ensure that each baby is genetically perfect, and their attributes are hand-picked by their parents. Yes, that's right, the future is going to be exactly like Gattaca, except this time we're supposed to root for the genetic supermen. But then something went wrong and Ransik, the world's first mutant was born. Unfortunately, Ransik didn't mix well with the genetically perfect men of his age and was rejected by society, so he gathered all of the mutants to help uplift them from the underclass. Unfortunately, Time Force got involved and here we are. Er...I think I kind of want to root for Ransik. Also, if everyone in the future is genetically perfect, and Wes is genetically identical to Alex, then isn't Wes genetically perfect as well? That can't be right.
Anyway, the Rangers, now known as Purity Squad Prime, assemble at the studio and Ransik decides to leave. The monster gets left behind to fight the Rangers, and the fight quickly escalates to giant-size. One thing I miss about earlier episode was their superior background music. This season's stuff sounds like the music from a JRPG in 2001...and not a good JRPG. The monster gets reduced back into its shrunken state so it can spend eternity on ice.
Later, the old man from before is pleased with how the painting went. Oh, he's probably not quite as happy that his studio was invaded by monsters, but the paint looks great! Later, Wes decides to ask Jen about the horrible, horrible future. Jen explains that Ransik is intrinsically evil and rejected the help of others. Why do I have the feeling that the "help" in question was a merciful purging of his life. Anyway, the Purity Squad enjoys some pizza. Show Over!
Next Time: Lucas gets his own episode....and we learn just how much of a mistake that is.
Something to Fight For
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 3
Original Airdate: 2-17-2001
Last Time: Jen led the Rangers into the past, but her womanly nature almost caused the destruction of the team. Fortunately, Wes showed up and saved them all with his virility.
In Ransik's Playhouse, Ransik is suffering from some sort of skin-bubbling ailment. Fortunately, he drinks some potion and immediately returns to normal. He decides to plan another attack.
Elsewhere, the Rangers are trying to salvage what they can from their wrecked time ship. Jen receives a message from Captain Logan, who informs them that the Rangers, fuck-ups that they are, destroyed the only time ship Time force had. On the plus side, that means that the Rangers won't be court-martialed for their crimes. So, it's up to them to stop Ransik. Well, that just about does it for the future, then. Credits!
Wes is being chaffeured through town when he sees Nadira robbing a bank. Wes decides to take her on because he wants to blow off a meeting he was supposed to go to. He gets his ass kicked in short order. Jen saves Wes....which would seem to even out the gender issue of last time, but she saves him by breaking one of Nadira's nails...so...it's a wash. Jen tells Wes off because she's basically a bitch, she insults Wes some more by claiming that he's never had to "fight for anything in his life." Wes is taken aback, and Jen decides to pile on a bit more. Wes doesn't have an answer, so Jen smugly walks away.
Back at the Playhouse, Ransik decides to release one of the monsters on Silver Hills. Meanwhile, as Wes Manor, Mr. Collins introduces Wes to some businessmen. Wes goes out to his elegant balcony and broods on Jen's numerous insults. His angst is cut short by Trip, who has realized that, given that the other Rangers have no homes or supplies, that it might not be a great idea to burn their bridge with a wealthy heir. Trip explains that he can read minds, and then explains that Wes looks exactly the same as Alex, which is the reason that Jen seems to hate him. Wes also decides to take this opportunity to ditch another meeting.
Later, Wes goes to the time ship ruins and offers to help the Rangers. But, before we see the back half of this thirlling conversation, Frax thaws a monster and Ransik sends him in out in as melodramatic way as possible. The Rangers go after the monster and Jen gives Wes his morpher back. Trip realizes that it's never to early to merchandize, and introduces the Time Jet, a device that can fly the Rangers to the scene of a monster attack and is much more marketable than the Rangers teleporting around.
The fight doesn't last long as Wes accidentally hits a panel on the monster's chest that, once broken, plays a mildly unpleasant animation of something mutating, and thus makes the monster grow to skyscraper size. The monster starts wrecking the city, so Circuit calls for the Time Force Megazord, which takes a buttload of time to actually arrive, because first a giant robot has to transform part of himself into a time gate, then he has to launch the individual zords into the portal, and then the zords have to merge. For the sake of saving time, the zords immediately go into the Mode Blue Megazord. Oddly enough, the control room has no controls other than pendulums the Rangers can swing to move the giant robot. Anyway, this megazord fight is notable for the megazord somehow literally bouncing off a cloud, and the first use of Matrix-type effects during a battle. Neither are particulary promising developments, actually.
Anyway, the Rangers then decide to go into Mode Red, or, as I call it, the mode that actually accomplishes shit. This mode features the Time Sword finisher, which freezes time and causes a giant clock to appear that eventually hits midnight and kills the monster. It's kind of hard to describe, especially since clocks don't really work that way. Jen recaptures the monster, and that's one for the prison camps.
Jen allows Wes to keep his morpher and Katie celebrates by nearly caving in his chest cavity. Show Over!
Next Time: The Rangers learn only too late that Wes is an eccentric millionaire.
Original Airdate: 2-17-2001
Last Time: Jen led the Rangers into the past, but her womanly nature almost caused the destruction of the team. Fortunately, Wes showed up and saved them all with his virility.
In Ransik's Playhouse, Ransik is suffering from some sort of skin-bubbling ailment. Fortunately, he drinks some potion and immediately returns to normal. He decides to plan another attack.
Elsewhere, the Rangers are trying to salvage what they can from their wrecked time ship. Jen receives a message from Captain Logan, who informs them that the Rangers, fuck-ups that they are, destroyed the only time ship Time force had. On the plus side, that means that the Rangers won't be court-martialed for their crimes. So, it's up to them to stop Ransik. Well, that just about does it for the future, then. Credits!
Wes is being chaffeured through town when he sees Nadira robbing a bank. Wes decides to take her on because he wants to blow off a meeting he was supposed to go to. He gets his ass kicked in short order. Jen saves Wes....which would seem to even out the gender issue of last time, but she saves him by breaking one of Nadira's nails...so...it's a wash. Jen tells Wes off because she's basically a bitch, she insults Wes some more by claiming that he's never had to "fight for anything in his life." Wes is taken aback, and Jen decides to pile on a bit more. Wes doesn't have an answer, so Jen smugly walks away.
Back at the Playhouse, Ransik decides to release one of the monsters on Silver Hills. Meanwhile, as Wes Manor, Mr. Collins introduces Wes to some businessmen. Wes goes out to his elegant balcony and broods on Jen's numerous insults. His angst is cut short by Trip, who has realized that, given that the other Rangers have no homes or supplies, that it might not be a great idea to burn their bridge with a wealthy heir. Trip explains that he can read minds, and then explains that Wes looks exactly the same as Alex, which is the reason that Jen seems to hate him. Wes also decides to take this opportunity to ditch another meeting.
Later, Wes goes to the time ship ruins and offers to help the Rangers. But, before we see the back half of this thirlling conversation, Frax thaws a monster and Ransik sends him in out in as melodramatic way as possible. The Rangers go after the monster and Jen gives Wes his morpher back. Trip realizes that it's never to early to merchandize, and introduces the Time Jet, a device that can fly the Rangers to the scene of a monster attack and is much more marketable than the Rangers teleporting around.
The fight doesn't last long as Wes accidentally hits a panel on the monster's chest that, once broken, plays a mildly unpleasant animation of something mutating, and thus makes the monster grow to skyscraper size. The monster starts wrecking the city, so Circuit calls for the Time Force Megazord, which takes a buttload of time to actually arrive, because first a giant robot has to transform part of himself into a time gate, then he has to launch the individual zords into the portal, and then the zords have to merge. For the sake of saving time, the zords immediately go into the Mode Blue Megazord. Oddly enough, the control room has no controls other than pendulums the Rangers can swing to move the giant robot. Anyway, this megazord fight is notable for the megazord somehow literally bouncing off a cloud, and the first use of Matrix-type effects during a battle. Neither are particulary promising developments, actually.
Anyway, the Rangers then decide to go into Mode Red, or, as I call it, the mode that actually accomplishes shit. This mode features the Time Sword finisher, which freezes time and causes a giant clock to appear that eventually hits midnight and kills the monster. It's kind of hard to describe, especially since clocks don't really work that way. Jen recaptures the monster, and that's one for the prison camps.
Jen allows Wes to keep his morpher and Katie celebrates by nearly caving in his chest cavity. Show Over!
Next Time: The Rangers learn only too late that Wes is an eccentric millionaire.
Force From the Future, Part II
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 2
Original Airdate: 2-10-2001
Last Time: Ransik stole a time machine and some evil mutants, killed the Red Ranger, and then went back in time to terrorize the present. Sadly, it's all downhill from here.
It's now 2001, the present, and an unlucky security runs into Ransik and his goons, who inquire as to the year. This is apparently satisfactory for Ransik who does some more evil laughing. Credits!
Elsewhere, the Rangers' time ship has also crash-landed in the year 2001, and the Rangers get out just before the entire ship explodes. Circuit helpfully relates that they're near the city of Silver Hills. Jen wants to fight Ransik, but Tripp is understandably skittish, as the last person they saw try to fight the mutant was brutally murdered...in front of them. Jen argues that with their morphers, they should be able to put up more of a fight, but, well, I don't think Alex would agree with that assessment. They set off to find him, and, unsurprisingly, people start to notice the white-jumpsuited Rangers walking through town.
Soon enough, Jen runs into Wes, whose wearing a motorcycle helmet. It's the beginning of a deeply boring relationship that will assault my senses all season long. At the local jewelry store, Nadira unleashes some robotic goons to help her rob the place. The Rangers show up to stop her and give out the morphing call of the season "Time for Time Force." Clever in theory...but in practice it usually sounds more like "Time Force Time Force." The morpher don't work, though, and Nadira sends in her Cyclobots at the Rangers. Jen manages to get captured, only to be saved by Wes. Now, you could say that there's something mildly sexist about Jen needing to be saved here by some random guy off the street, but, well, I choose to believe that it's not really about Jen being a woman so much as completely and utterly incompetent. I mean, over the course of an episode and a half Jen:
1. Let Ransik Escape.
2. Stole a guy's car.
3. Watched as Alex got killed.
4. Watched as Ransik went back in time.
5. Stole a time ship.
6. Managed to destroy the time ship.
7. Handed out morphers that didn't work.
I mean, shit, that's more fuck-ups than Carter had all of last season. Anyway, Wes saves Jen and introduces himself, and Jen freaks out when she notices that Wes looks exactly like Alex. Jen tells Wes to leave, and Wes, being the most easygoing Red Ranger in history, does so. Later, Circuit announces that the problem with the morphers is that the red morpher needs to be unlocked to make the others work....and the red morpher is set to Alex....who's dead. The other Rangers, who, I'm going to guess didn't do particularly well in biology, suggest that Wes, because he looks like Alex, has the exact same DNA as the dead Red Ranger. Jen dissents, not because she realizes the scientific impossibility of such a plan succeeding, but because of her own hang-ups over Alex. She's....not a spectacular leader.
Later, at stately Wes Manor, we learn that Wes is actually some rich trust-fund asshole who habitually tries to get out of the few responsibilities he has. Mr. Collins saunters by so that the viewers have a chance to see good acting this episode, and Jen arrives to ask Wes for help. Wes takes advantage of the situation to pretend that Jen is his date, and thus he can't go to his father's board meeting. Jen asks Wes to help the team unlock the morphers, but Wes wants more of an explanation. Jen recapitulates the premise of the show, and Wes decides Jen's completely fucking nuts. And, in fairness, Jen's response is to comment on how Wes is "nothing like him," which must seem like a bizarre non-sequitur to Wes. Tripp calls in to announce that Ransik is attacking the city and Jen rushes off.
Jen tries to arrest Ransik, who applauds her for her bravery, and then blasts the team good. Wes arrives just in time to save Jen again...and okay, this might be a bit crypto-sexist. Wes is concerned that the villains are commenting on having already killed him, but Jen declines to explain the situation because she's basically useless. They morph and Ransik orders his Cyclobots to attack, but well, the time when they were effective has come and gone. The Rangers pull out their Power Weapons and Ransik decides to call it a day and leave. The other villains are driven off and Jen is still pissy about Ransik's murder of Alex.
Later, the Rangers celebrate and neither Lucas nor Jen particularly like Wes. Jen takes Wes's morpher because she decides that the team doesn't need his help. Wes seems reasonably okay with this decision and leaves. I guess the writers asked themselves, "Hey, what would it be like if the Red Ranger was completely spineless?" Anyway, Jen assures the other Rangers that they'll be fine without Wes, but it's only a matter of time before she rethinks that position. But how long? Show Over!
Next Time: Wes joins the team.
Original Airdate: 2-10-2001
Last Time: Ransik stole a time machine and some evil mutants, killed the Red Ranger, and then went back in time to terrorize the present. Sadly, it's all downhill from here.
It's now 2001, the present, and an unlucky security runs into Ransik and his goons, who inquire as to the year. This is apparently satisfactory for Ransik who does some more evil laughing. Credits!
Elsewhere, the Rangers' time ship has also crash-landed in the year 2001, and the Rangers get out just before the entire ship explodes. Circuit helpfully relates that they're near the city of Silver Hills. Jen wants to fight Ransik, but Tripp is understandably skittish, as the last person they saw try to fight the mutant was brutally murdered...in front of them. Jen argues that with their morphers, they should be able to put up more of a fight, but, well, I don't think Alex would agree with that assessment. They set off to find him, and, unsurprisingly, people start to notice the white-jumpsuited Rangers walking through town.
Soon enough, Jen runs into Wes, whose wearing a motorcycle helmet. It's the beginning of a deeply boring relationship that will assault my senses all season long. At the local jewelry store, Nadira unleashes some robotic goons to help her rob the place. The Rangers show up to stop her and give out the morphing call of the season "Time for Time Force." Clever in theory...but in practice it usually sounds more like "Time Force Time Force." The morpher don't work, though, and Nadira sends in her Cyclobots at the Rangers. Jen manages to get captured, only to be saved by Wes. Now, you could say that there's something mildly sexist about Jen needing to be saved here by some random guy off the street, but, well, I choose to believe that it's not really about Jen being a woman so much as completely and utterly incompetent. I mean, over the course of an episode and a half Jen:
1. Let Ransik Escape.
2. Stole a guy's car.
3. Watched as Alex got killed.
4. Watched as Ransik went back in time.
5. Stole a time ship.
6. Managed to destroy the time ship.
7. Handed out morphers that didn't work.
I mean, shit, that's more fuck-ups than Carter had all of last season. Anyway, Wes saves Jen and introduces himself, and Jen freaks out when she notices that Wes looks exactly like Alex. Jen tells Wes to leave, and Wes, being the most easygoing Red Ranger in history, does so. Later, Circuit announces that the problem with the morphers is that the red morpher needs to be unlocked to make the others work....and the red morpher is set to Alex....who's dead. The other Rangers, who, I'm going to guess didn't do particularly well in biology, suggest that Wes, because he looks like Alex, has the exact same DNA as the dead Red Ranger. Jen dissents, not because she realizes the scientific impossibility of such a plan succeeding, but because of her own hang-ups over Alex. She's....not a spectacular leader.
Later, at stately Wes Manor, we learn that Wes is actually some rich trust-fund asshole who habitually tries to get out of the few responsibilities he has. Mr. Collins saunters by so that the viewers have a chance to see good acting this episode, and Jen arrives to ask Wes for help. Wes takes advantage of the situation to pretend that Jen is his date, and thus he can't go to his father's board meeting. Jen asks Wes to help the team unlock the morphers, but Wes wants more of an explanation. Jen recapitulates the premise of the show, and Wes decides Jen's completely fucking nuts. And, in fairness, Jen's response is to comment on how Wes is "nothing like him," which must seem like a bizarre non-sequitur to Wes. Tripp calls in to announce that Ransik is attacking the city and Jen rushes off.
Jen tries to arrest Ransik, who applauds her for her bravery, and then blasts the team good. Wes arrives just in time to save Jen again...and okay, this might be a bit crypto-sexist. Wes is concerned that the villains are commenting on having already killed him, but Jen declines to explain the situation because she's basically useless. They morph and Ransik orders his Cyclobots to attack, but well, the time when they were effective has come and gone. The Rangers pull out their Power Weapons and Ransik decides to call it a day and leave. The other villains are driven off and Jen is still pissy about Ransik's murder of Alex.
Later, the Rangers celebrate and neither Lucas nor Jen particularly like Wes. Jen takes Wes's morpher because she decides that the team doesn't need his help. Wes seems reasonably okay with this decision and leaves. I guess the writers asked themselves, "Hey, what would it be like if the Red Ranger was completely spineless?" Anyway, Jen assures the other Rangers that they'll be fine without Wes, but it's only a matter of time before she rethinks that position. But how long? Show Over!
Next Time: Wes joins the team.
Force From the Future, Part I
Power Rangers: Time Force, Episode 1
Original Airdate: 2-3-2001
Last Time: The Lightspeed Rangers...did something. I don't know, I can't quite remember them. Weren't they based on a submarine or something?
It's the year 3000, so says the voiceover, and all criminals have been arrested, because, well, that's just how futuristic utopias work. All criminals, that is, except for Ransik, our new supervillain who is about ten minutes away from becoming the most successful big bad in Power Rangers history. Anyway, Ransik's holed up in some sort of industrial building, loudly announcing, to no one in particular, that he intends to go back in time and conquer the past. Unfortunately, the Red Ranger immediately shows up to stop him. Ransik should have used his inside voice. Credits! Incidentally, the credits may be the most misleading opening sequence in Ranger history.
Back in the suspiciously unfuturistic future, the Red Ranger is still fighting Ransik. The Red Ranger pulls out a sword so Ransik rips a sword right out of his leg. Shit, Ransik doesn't fuck around. Jen shows up outside the warehouse where the fight is taking place and...doesn't really do much of anything. A bit later, the Red Ranger, who is named Alex, captures Ransik and takes him to a paddywagon....of the future! Okay, well, season over then? Alex and Jen embrace.
Later, in the courtroom of tomorrow, Ransik is being sentenced. A girl with bright pink hair winks at him. Lucas, Tripp and Katie make a little small talk....which is really all they're qualified to do. We're also introduced to Circuit, a robotic owl whose creation is the result of mankind's inhumanity to man. Outside the courtroom, Alex proposes to Jen. Anyway, the judges sentence Ransik to cryogenic imprisoment "for life." Er....I'm pretty sure that's just an incredibly slow death sentence. Everyone applauds, because the future people are basically assholes.
Ransik gets loaded into a prison transport, and the future Rangers are assigned to guard him. You'll be delighted to know that in the future year 3000, vans and motorcycles are still the vehicles of choice. In the van, Ransik makes some vague threats, and then the van stops. The Rangers find the pink haired woman lying in the street. It turns out to be Ransik's daughter, Nadira, and the Rangers come under attack from some sort of futuristic horizotal rotary craft. Ransik escapres with Nadira and his other henchman Frax, who's a robot. Jen tries to stop him, but collapses instead. Ransik laughs evilly, as he will be doing quite often throughout this season.
The Rangers call in to headquarters and get reamed for letting Ransik escape. They are also suspended. Lucas remembers that Tripp is supposed to be telepathic, and probably should have been able to see this coming. Tripp claims that "he can't read every thought." Not the most muscular of defenses.
Later, Ransik decides to break into the cryogenic prison and break a bunch of prisoners out, because he really, really liked Demolition Man and wanted to do a homage. It turns out that the cryogenic process turns monsters into action figures....okay, let's go with it. The guards all get shot by Nadira, but not before the alarm is raised. Alex decides to go and help. Elsewhere, Lucas is kind of upset about being fired, and Tripp uses his plot-dependent psychic powers to find out that Ransik is taking all of the shrunken prisoners fron the cryo-prison. The Rangers decide that if they failed once, they might as well fail again and steal some guy's future car in order to go fuck up again.
Anyway, Ransik is about to go back in time when he sees the Red Ranger coming and decides to kill him before going back in time. Now, when most villains undertake such an action, it ultimately foils there plans. But Ransik does not fuck around, so he beats the fuck out of Alex, waits until Jen and the other Rangers get a nice view, and then kills the Red Ranger. Alex, mortally wounded, gives Jen the Time Force morphers and tells her to stop Ransik, and then dies. Then Jen watches as Ransik and his minions go back in time.
Jen decides, despite her historic amount of suckitude thus far, to steal a time ship and go back in time to pursue Ransik. The time ship is launched by a giant robot hitting so hard that it goes flying through a portal. You know, the future kind of sucks. To Be Continued!
Next Time: Identical Grandchildren! Unappealing Ancillary Characters! Another Generic City in California!
Original Airdate: 2-3-2001
Last Time: The Lightspeed Rangers...did something. I don't know, I can't quite remember them. Weren't they based on a submarine or something?
It's the year 3000, so says the voiceover, and all criminals have been arrested, because, well, that's just how futuristic utopias work. All criminals, that is, except for Ransik, our new supervillain who is about ten minutes away from becoming the most successful big bad in Power Rangers history. Anyway, Ransik's holed up in some sort of industrial building, loudly announcing, to no one in particular, that he intends to go back in time and conquer the past. Unfortunately, the Red Ranger immediately shows up to stop him. Ransik should have used his inside voice. Credits! Incidentally, the credits may be the most misleading opening sequence in Ranger history.
Back in the suspiciously unfuturistic future, the Red Ranger is still fighting Ransik. The Red Ranger pulls out a sword so Ransik rips a sword right out of his leg. Shit, Ransik doesn't fuck around. Jen shows up outside the warehouse where the fight is taking place and...doesn't really do much of anything. A bit later, the Red Ranger, who is named Alex, captures Ransik and takes him to a paddywagon....of the future! Okay, well, season over then? Alex and Jen embrace.
Later, in the courtroom of tomorrow, Ransik is being sentenced. A girl with bright pink hair winks at him. Lucas, Tripp and Katie make a little small talk....which is really all they're qualified to do. We're also introduced to Circuit, a robotic owl whose creation is the result of mankind's inhumanity to man. Outside the courtroom, Alex proposes to Jen. Anyway, the judges sentence Ransik to cryogenic imprisoment "for life." Er....I'm pretty sure that's just an incredibly slow death sentence. Everyone applauds, because the future people are basically assholes.
Ransik gets loaded into a prison transport, and the future Rangers are assigned to guard him. You'll be delighted to know that in the future year 3000, vans and motorcycles are still the vehicles of choice. In the van, Ransik makes some vague threats, and then the van stops. The Rangers find the pink haired woman lying in the street. It turns out to be Ransik's daughter, Nadira, and the Rangers come under attack from some sort of futuristic horizotal rotary craft. Ransik escapres with Nadira and his other henchman Frax, who's a robot. Jen tries to stop him, but collapses instead. Ransik laughs evilly, as he will be doing quite often throughout this season.
The Rangers call in to headquarters and get reamed for letting Ransik escape. They are also suspended. Lucas remembers that Tripp is supposed to be telepathic, and probably should have been able to see this coming. Tripp claims that "he can't read every thought." Not the most muscular of defenses.
Later, Ransik decides to break into the cryogenic prison and break a bunch of prisoners out, because he really, really liked Demolition Man and wanted to do a homage. It turns out that the cryogenic process turns monsters into action figures....okay, let's go with it. The guards all get shot by Nadira, but not before the alarm is raised. Alex decides to go and help. Elsewhere, Lucas is kind of upset about being fired, and Tripp uses his plot-dependent psychic powers to find out that Ransik is taking all of the shrunken prisoners fron the cryo-prison. The Rangers decide that if they failed once, they might as well fail again and steal some guy's future car in order to go fuck up again.
Anyway, Ransik is about to go back in time when he sees the Red Ranger coming and decides to kill him before going back in time. Now, when most villains undertake such an action, it ultimately foils there plans. But Ransik does not fuck around, so he beats the fuck out of Alex, waits until Jen and the other Rangers get a nice view, and then kills the Red Ranger. Alex, mortally wounded, gives Jen the Time Force morphers and tells her to stop Ransik, and then dies. Then Jen watches as Ransik and his minions go back in time.
Jen decides, despite her historic amount of suckitude thus far, to steal a time ship and go back in time to pursue Ransik. The time ship is launched by a giant robot hitting so hard that it goes flying through a portal. You know, the future kind of sucks. To Be Continued!
Next Time: Identical Grandchildren! Unappealing Ancillary Characters! Another Generic City in California!
Power Rangers: Time Force 101
Before I turn it over to Saban and Lynn, let me clear one thing up: Saying that Time Force is a good season is like saying that the Hindenburg was comparatively light disaster. Oh, don't get me wrong, this season has a relatively decent corps of actors, but, well, as will become apparent, it's terrible in its own way.
Saban: Judd, we're in trouble, if we can't get this ship turned around over the next season, I'll have no choice but to scuttle the franchise and run her aground.
Lynn: That's....a lot of nautical metaphors. You're not going to make the Rangers have an aquabase again, are you?
Saban: I don't know, what's the source material about.
Lynn: Time travel.
Saban: (excited) Time travel? Now that is motherfucking outstanding. We could have an episode were the Rangers go back in time and kick Genghis Khan's ass, or maybe-
Lynn: Um....actually, the Rangers only go back in time once...and it's to the present.
Saban: (dejected) Fucking Japan....okay, what ideas do you have this time?
Lynn: Okay, I was thinking that the Rangers could be mutant refugees from the future who go back in time to escape a police state where the genetically impure are put in prison camps. Now, I know that this is a bit different than what we usually do, but I think-
Saban: Judd, I'm going to stop you right there, now, I like the idea of genetically perfect humans hunting fown mutants and putting them in camps, but I don't see why the Rangers can't be the perfect ones.
Lynn: Um...well...eugenics is....a bit unpopular nowadays, and so people might not be entirely happy with....Have you even seen Gattaca?
Saban: Yeah, mankind had built an awesome society and Ethan Hawke had to go around fucking it up with his inferior genes.
Lynn: Right....I....this is my two weeks' notice.
Saban: Ah, Judd, you kidder, now, we're going need some characters. Red Ranger, what do you got for me?
Lynn: Well, I mean, I don't know, I guess he's some Aryan ubermensch from the future who-
Saban: Nah, we need a viewpoint character, so make him from the present.
Lynn: Okay, so he's from the present and the Rangers recruit him because....I don't know, their morphers will only work if he unlocks them, because he's genetically identical to some douche from the future.
Saban: See, Judd? That wasn't so hard. Now, Blue Ranger! Go!
Lynn: Uh....I guess he's some hotshot hovercar racer from the future...or something.
Saban: Nah...hovercars sound expensive, let's just make him a regular racecar driver.
Lynn: But, he comes from a thousand years in the future!
Saban: Eh...I don't really care.
Lynn: Of course not.
Saban: Now, then the green Ranger...I was thinking an alien.
Lynn: Wait, an alien, I thought you were all about cutting costs.
Saban: When I say alien I mean dyed hair and some cheap forehead decoration. Yeah, an alien...and he has telepathy.
Lynn: Why would an alien be able to read human minds? Er, okay, he's a alien, but since he's also the quirky comic relief character of the team. Now for name-
Saban: Tripp, his name is Tripp.
Lynn: He's.....he's an alien, why would his name be Tripp?
Saban: Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job.
Lynn: But....naming character is part of my job....
Saban: Don't worry about it, now, as per the footage we received, we need a Yellow Ranger, and looking at the focus groups results from last season, it's clear that we receive a lot less complaints from those damn feminists if one of the girls looks ripped or physically imposing or something. So, work with that.
Lynn: Okay....well, the cast as is isn't particularly tall, so it might be possible to find an actress that would be the tallest on the team.
Saban: Beautiful, and give her super-strength too, let's load the dice here, we really can't afford to take another hit.
Lynn: Is this about Maya's outfit from Lost Galaxy? Because I told you that-
Saban: Hey, I made a command decision and I stand by it!
Lynn: Wait, why would she have super-strength, I thought the Rangers were supposed to be genetically perfect or something.
Saban: I'm sure you'll work something out. Now, Pink Ranger, I was thinking that she could wear a miniskirt at all times.
Lynn: Okay, well, how about she's from the future and her fiance gets killed in the first episode, so she takes the team and comes back in time to avenge him.
Saban: And then Wes is identical to her dead fiance, so she falls in love with him.
Lynn: Wait....wait....wait, that doesn't make sense. Also, I didn't know we were allowed to kill people, because if we are, I have this-
Saban: Eh, the fiance isn't really dead.
Lynn: Of course. Is Jen a good name for her?
Saban: Yeah, that's fine. Now, as for background characters...let's just say Papa Saban has taken care of everything.
Lynn: That does not sound promising.
Saban: As our starting villain, I got one of the villains from Mad Max and Commando.
Lynn: How did you get him?
Saban: Part of the deal for him agreeing to be on the show is that I don't talk about why he agreed to be on Power Rangers.
Lynn: Right. Okay, so I'm thinking that he could be a supermutant from the future who wants to go back in time and loot the place...no, to ransack the place...yeah, his name is Ransik! That'll work.
Saban: Yeah, whatever, anyway for the part of Wes' industrialist father, I was able to get Golden Globe Winner, Edward Laurence Albert.
Lynn: I don't know who that is.
Saban: Yeah, well, the important thing is that he has a SAG card, so they'll stop threatening me for "not hiring real actors" and some other stuff.
Lynn: What other stuff?
Saban: Well, you see, a couple of years ago
-Recording Ends-
Lynn: Um....actually, the Rangers only go back in time once...and it's to the present.
Saban: (dejected) Fucking Japan....okay, what ideas do you have this time?
Lynn: Okay, I was thinking that the Rangers could be mutant refugees from the future who go back in time to escape a police state where the genetically impure are put in prison camps. Now, I know that this is a bit different than what we usually do, but I think-
Saban: Judd, I'm going to stop you right there, now, I like the idea of genetically perfect humans hunting fown mutants and putting them in camps, but I don't see why the Rangers can't be the perfect ones.
Lynn: Um...well...eugenics is....a bit unpopular nowadays, and so people might not be entirely happy with....Have you even seen Gattaca?
Saban: Yeah, mankind had built an awesome society and Ethan Hawke had to go around fucking it up with his inferior genes.
Lynn: Right....I....this is my two weeks' notice.
Saban: Ah, Judd, you kidder, now, we're going need some characters. Red Ranger, what do you got for me?
Lynn: Well, I mean, I don't know, I guess he's some Aryan ubermensch from the future who-
Saban: Nah, we need a viewpoint character, so make him from the present.
Lynn: Okay, so he's from the present and the Rangers recruit him because....I don't know, their morphers will only work if he unlocks them, because he's genetically identical to some douche from the future.
Saban: See, Judd? That wasn't so hard. Now, Blue Ranger! Go!Lynn: Uh....I guess he's some hotshot hovercar racer from the future...or something.
Saban: Nah...hovercars sound expensive, let's just make him a regular racecar driver.
Lynn: But, he comes from a thousand years in the future!
Saban: Eh...I don't really care.
Lynn: Of course not.Saban: Now, then the green Ranger...I was thinking an alien.
Lynn: Wait, an alien, I thought you were all about cutting costs.
Saban: When I say alien I mean dyed hair and some cheap forehead decoration. Yeah, an alien...and he has telepathy.
Lynn: Why would an alien be able to read human minds? Er, okay, he's a alien, but since he's also the quirky comic relief character of the team. Now for name-
Saban: Tripp, his name is Tripp.
Lynn: He's.....he's an alien, why would his name be Tripp?
Saban: Hey, I don't tell you how to do your job.Lynn: But....naming character is part of my job....
Saban: Don't worry about it, now, as per the footage we received, we need a Yellow Ranger, and looking at the focus groups results from last season, it's clear that we receive a lot less complaints from those damn feminists if one of the girls looks ripped or physically imposing or something. So, work with that.
Lynn: Okay....well, the cast as is isn't particularly tall, so it might be possible to find an actress that would be the tallest on the team.
Saban: Beautiful, and give her super-strength too, let's load the dice here, we really can't afford to take another hit.
Lynn: Is this about Maya's outfit from Lost Galaxy? Because I told you that-
Saban: Hey, I made a command decision and I stand by it!
Lynn: Wait, why would she have super-strength, I thought the Rangers were supposed to be genetically perfect or something.Saban: I'm sure you'll work something out. Now, Pink Ranger, I was thinking that she could wear a miniskirt at all times.
Lynn: Okay, well, how about she's from the future and her fiance gets killed in the first episode, so she takes the team and comes back in time to avenge him.
Saban: And then Wes is identical to her dead fiance, so she falls in love with him.
Lynn: Wait....wait....wait, that doesn't make sense. Also, I didn't know we were allowed to kill people, because if we are, I have this-
Saban: Eh, the fiance isn't really dead.
Lynn: Of course. Is Jen a good name for her?
Saban: Yeah, that's fine. Now, as for background characters...let's just say Papa Saban has taken care of everything.Lynn: That does not sound promising.
Saban: As our starting villain, I got one of the villains from Mad Max and Commando.
Lynn: How did you get him?
Saban: Part of the deal for him agreeing to be on the show is that I don't talk about why he agreed to be on Power Rangers.
Lynn: Right. Okay, so I'm thinking that he could be a supermutant from the future who wants to go back in time and loot the place...no, to ransack the place...yeah, his name is Ransik! That'll work.
Saban: Yeah, whatever, anyway for the part of Wes' industrialist father, I was able to get Golden Globe Winner, Edward Laurence Albert.
Lynn: I don't know who that is.Saban: Yeah, well, the important thing is that he has a SAG card, so they'll stop threatening me for "not hiring real actors" and some other stuff.
Lynn: What other stuff?
Saban: Well, you see, a couple of years ago
-Recording Ends-
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The Fate of Lightspeed, Part II
Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 40
Original Airdate: 11-18-2000
Last Time: The villains managed to beat the Rangers handily by destroying all of the Rangers' megazords except for two, which they took control of. Captain Mitchell broke down for a while when he realized what that said about his captaining abilities.
The Omega Megazord is still hauling stones, and the Lifeforce Megazord is still smashing up the aquabase. On the bridge, the Rangers are trapped. Only Neptune, God of the Seas, can save them now....but he doesn't like the way Chad looks at his daughter, so that's out. Ms. Fairweather finally agrees to go on a date with Joel, banking heavily on them all dying relatively soon. The Rangers also see the Omega Megazord wrecking the city on the monitors. Final Credits!
Joel finds a maintenance shaft leading to the submarine bay. Well, that's one problem solved. Unfortunately, the shaft is flooded. Chad figures they can probably swim for it...and since they have emergency oxygen tanks, it's not a bad bet.
Bansheera move the ziggurat o' joke over to the center of Mariner Bay as part of her endgame. Under the sea, the Rangers make it to the submarine and start it up, but it gets a bit dicey as Batlings and the Lifeforce Megazord interrupt the process. Joel, having one last insane idea, decides to fire a torpedo into the side of the sub pen to allow the submarine to escape. The team then fires a few more torpedoes at the Lifespeed Megazord, which destroys both the megazord and the aquabase. I guess that counts as a win for the Rangers, even though all they managed to accomplish was blowing up their base of operations and most powerful weapon.
Up in the heavens, the solar eclipse begins, which, as is dramatic tradition requires, means some serious shit is about to go down. Ryan and Carter, recovered from last episode's beating, are trying to destroy the Omega Megazord. The other Rangers make it back to the shore and rush off to help. Carter, asking himself "What would T.J. do?" decides to ram his jet thing into the Omega Megazord, destroying both....and the last stone still gets put into its proper position. So, to recapitulate, so far the only things that the Rangers have managed to succeed at are destroying their own weaponry. Outstanding.
Bansheera begins the ritual and the Rangers bust in to stop her. Some Batlings are called, and we're treated to one last Batling fight for old time's sake. Bansheera then opens the tomb containing all of the demons and Carter moves to intercept, managing to get his helmet blasted off in the process. He does manage to knock Bansheera into the tomb however and give the team a thumbs up...prematurely, as Bansheera is able to grab onto him with some sort of whip and drag him in with her. Carter is able to grab a ledge on the inside of the tomb, but has no way of getting out. He orders the tomb sealed regardless, because, well, there's not much else to do.
The ghost of Diabolico, however, doesn't believe in the no-win scenario, and emerges from the underworld to free Carter and send Bansheera to hell, where she gets ripped apart by demonic spirits. Carter escapes, the tomb is sealed, and that'll about wrap things up. The stones and the ziggurat turn to dust.
Later, the Rangers turn in their morphers and Captain Mitchell realizes that he now has to get a real job. Ms. Fairweather shows up and seems willing to honor the agreement she had made with Joel. Some fire engines rush by, and the Rangers decide to go help because...I don't know, there heroes or some bullshit like that. It doesn't matter, though because....Show Over! Season Over!
Next Time: Saban asks America, "Why can't there be show where genetically perfect humans from the future travel back in time in order to hunt the impure and put them in prison camps?"
Original Airdate: 11-18-2000
Last Time: The villains managed to beat the Rangers handily by destroying all of the Rangers' megazords except for two, which they took control of. Captain Mitchell broke down for a while when he realized what that said about his captaining abilities.
The Omega Megazord is still hauling stones, and the Lifeforce Megazord is still smashing up the aquabase. On the bridge, the Rangers are trapped. Only Neptune, God of the Seas, can save them now....but he doesn't like the way Chad looks at his daughter, so that's out. Ms. Fairweather finally agrees to go on a date with Joel, banking heavily on them all dying relatively soon. The Rangers also see the Omega Megazord wrecking the city on the monitors. Final Credits!
Joel finds a maintenance shaft leading to the submarine bay. Well, that's one problem solved. Unfortunately, the shaft is flooded. Chad figures they can probably swim for it...and since they have emergency oxygen tanks, it's not a bad bet.
Bansheera move the ziggurat o' joke over to the center of Mariner Bay as part of her endgame. Under the sea, the Rangers make it to the submarine and start it up, but it gets a bit dicey as Batlings and the Lifeforce Megazord interrupt the process. Joel, having one last insane idea, decides to fire a torpedo into the side of the sub pen to allow the submarine to escape. The team then fires a few more torpedoes at the Lifespeed Megazord, which destroys both the megazord and the aquabase. I guess that counts as a win for the Rangers, even though all they managed to accomplish was blowing up their base of operations and most powerful weapon.
Up in the heavens, the solar eclipse begins, which, as is dramatic tradition requires, means some serious shit is about to go down. Ryan and Carter, recovered from last episode's beating, are trying to destroy the Omega Megazord. The other Rangers make it back to the shore and rush off to help. Carter, asking himself "What would T.J. do?" decides to ram his jet thing into the Omega Megazord, destroying both....and the last stone still gets put into its proper position. So, to recapitulate, so far the only things that the Rangers have managed to succeed at are destroying their own weaponry. Outstanding.
Bansheera begins the ritual and the Rangers bust in to stop her. Some Batlings are called, and we're treated to one last Batling fight for old time's sake. Bansheera then opens the tomb containing all of the demons and Carter moves to intercept, managing to get his helmet blasted off in the process. He does manage to knock Bansheera into the tomb however and give the team a thumbs up...prematurely, as Bansheera is able to grab onto him with some sort of whip and drag him in with her. Carter is able to grab a ledge on the inside of the tomb, but has no way of getting out. He orders the tomb sealed regardless, because, well, there's not much else to do.
The ghost of Diabolico, however, doesn't believe in the no-win scenario, and emerges from the underworld to free Carter and send Bansheera to hell, where she gets ripped apart by demonic spirits. Carter escapes, the tomb is sealed, and that'll about wrap things up. The stones and the ziggurat turn to dust.
Later, the Rangers turn in their morphers and Captain Mitchell realizes that he now has to get a real job. Ms. Fairweather shows up and seems willing to honor the agreement she had made with Joel. Some fire engines rush by, and the Rangers decide to go help because...I don't know, there heroes or some bullshit like that. It doesn't matter, though because....Show Over! Season Over!
Next Time: Saban asks America, "Why can't there be show where genetically perfect humans from the future travel back in time in order to hunt the impure and put them in prison camps?"
The Fate of Lightspeed, Part I
Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 39
Original Airdate: 11-16-2000
Last Time: House cleaning! Diabolico: Dead! Olympius: Dead! The Supertrain and Lightspeed Megazords: Destroyed!
At the ancient ruins, Ryan finds that key glyph from last episode which turns back into an actual key. Then Ryan reminds us that the key is important to beating the demons for some reason.
In the aquabase, Ms. Fairweather is explaining that the only working megazord is the Lifeforce, because of the unfortunate business last episode. Ryan cuts in to tell the Rangers that Bansheera plans to resurrect all of the monsters they killed this season, but his communication breaks up before he can give the Rangers any helpful details. Ah, yes, sixth Rangers...they're always tricky to deal with once footage of them runs out. Ryan gets captured by Bansheera, as does the all-important MacGuffin Key. Credits!
The Rangers aren't thrilled by Ryan's capture, and Carter proposes going to rescue Ryan by himself. Everyone else thinks it's a suicide mission, but take no steps to stop him. At the ziggurat o' Season Finality, Ryan is locked up and Bansheera orders Jinxer use his Batling card from last episode to take control of the Lifeforce Megazord. Meanwhile, Carter is still preparing to rescue Ryan alone and no one really seems to want to stop him.
In the megazord hangar, the Batlings have taken control of the Lifeforce Megazord and are poised to destroy the aquabase. Captain Mitchell decides to go to red alert, because all of his captaining skills were learned from old episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Some Batlings are also trying to invade the aquabase, and the Rangers try to fight them off with the help of the aquabase's legendarily incomptent security staff, who appear to be armed only with riot shields. No guns, no nightsticks, just riot shields. They fight them off until Dana sees the Batling-controlld Lifeforce Megazord starts taking out entire components of the aquabase with one hit. That...kind of makes fighting off the invasion a moot point, and the Rangers all retreat to the bridge. The Batlings get some battering rams from....I don't know, let's say that the aquabase had a medieval smithy on board, and start pounding on the doors.
All of this has caused Captain Mitchell to have a complete nervous breakdown and he shuts down. Ms. Fairweather takes command and orders an evacuation.
Elsewhere, Carter has once again trekked up to the ziggurat o' good times. The Rangers, meanwhile, are evacuating the aquabase and find Captain Mitchell staring into space on the bridge. Dana talks him down, and he decides to leave just in time for one of the Lifeforce Megazord's attacks to trap them all on the bridge....and then the windows start cracking under the pressure.
Carter has found Bansheera giving a rousing speech to her legions of Batlings, and soon after is able to locate and free Ryan, who explains that Bansheera is about to perform some sort of ritual that will pretty much doom mankind. Bansheera heads to Ryan's cell and Ryan pretends to be locked up, which works for about two seconds until Carter's communicator goes off. Carter and Ryan fight some Batlings, which is as thrilling as ever.
Back in Mariner Bay, Jinxer and some Batlings steal the Omega Megazord. Christ, I mean, I could understand getting one megazord stolen, but Lightspeed has got to have the worst security in the universe. Fuck. Anyway, Carter and Ryan get captured and are forced to watch Jinxer use the Omega Megazord to move some giant stones for Bansheera's ritual. Bansheera celebrates by blasting Ryan and Carter so hard that they fly out of the ziggurat o' excitement. Oh, and water starts rushing into the bridge of the aquabase...good times. To Be Continued!
Next Time: Goodbye Joel, goodbye Chad, goodbye Ryan, the useless cad....
Original Airdate: 11-16-2000
Last Time: House cleaning! Diabolico: Dead! Olympius: Dead! The Supertrain and Lightspeed Megazords: Destroyed!
At the ancient ruins, Ryan finds that key glyph from last episode which turns back into an actual key. Then Ryan reminds us that the key is important to beating the demons for some reason.
In the aquabase, Ms. Fairweather is explaining that the only working megazord is the Lifeforce, because of the unfortunate business last episode. Ryan cuts in to tell the Rangers that Bansheera plans to resurrect all of the monsters they killed this season, but his communication breaks up before he can give the Rangers any helpful details. Ah, yes, sixth Rangers...they're always tricky to deal with once footage of them runs out. Ryan gets captured by Bansheera, as does the all-important MacGuffin Key. Credits!
The Rangers aren't thrilled by Ryan's capture, and Carter proposes going to rescue Ryan by himself. Everyone else thinks it's a suicide mission, but take no steps to stop him. At the ziggurat o' Season Finality, Ryan is locked up and Bansheera orders Jinxer use his Batling card from last episode to take control of the Lifeforce Megazord. Meanwhile, Carter is still preparing to rescue Ryan alone and no one really seems to want to stop him.
In the megazord hangar, the Batlings have taken control of the Lifeforce Megazord and are poised to destroy the aquabase. Captain Mitchell decides to go to red alert, because all of his captaining skills were learned from old episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Some Batlings are also trying to invade the aquabase, and the Rangers try to fight them off with the help of the aquabase's legendarily incomptent security staff, who appear to be armed only with riot shields. No guns, no nightsticks, just riot shields. They fight them off until Dana sees the Batling-controlld Lifeforce Megazord starts taking out entire components of the aquabase with one hit. That...kind of makes fighting off the invasion a moot point, and the Rangers all retreat to the bridge. The Batlings get some battering rams from....I don't know, let's say that the aquabase had a medieval smithy on board, and start pounding on the doors.
All of this has caused Captain Mitchell to have a complete nervous breakdown and he shuts down. Ms. Fairweather takes command and orders an evacuation.
Elsewhere, Carter has once again trekked up to the ziggurat o' good times. The Rangers, meanwhile, are evacuating the aquabase and find Captain Mitchell staring into space on the bridge. Dana talks him down, and he decides to leave just in time for one of the Lifeforce Megazord's attacks to trap them all on the bridge....and then the windows start cracking under the pressure.
Carter has found Bansheera giving a rousing speech to her legions of Batlings, and soon after is able to locate and free Ryan, who explains that Bansheera is about to perform some sort of ritual that will pretty much doom mankind. Bansheera heads to Ryan's cell and Ryan pretends to be locked up, which works for about two seconds until Carter's communicator goes off. Carter and Ryan fight some Batlings, which is as thrilling as ever.
Back in Mariner Bay, Jinxer and some Batlings steal the Omega Megazord. Christ, I mean, I could understand getting one megazord stolen, but Lightspeed has got to have the worst security in the universe. Fuck. Anyway, Carter and Ryan get captured and are forced to watch Jinxer use the Omega Megazord to move some giant stones for Bansheera's ritual. Bansheera celebrates by blasting Ryan and Carter so hard that they fly out of the ziggurat o' excitement. Oh, and water starts rushing into the bridge of the aquabase...good times. To Be Continued!
Next Time: Goodbye Joel, goodbye Chad, goodbye Ryan, the useless cad....
Rise of the Super Demons
Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 38
Original Airdate: 11-16-2000
Last Time: Vypra Died! Oh, and some other stuff happened, but it all kind of pales in significance in comparison to the end of Vypra.
In the aquabase, the Rangers are testing Ms. Fairweather's most idiotic invention yet: a megazord that runs off the Rangers' very life force. I call it the Kamikaze Megazord. Testing goes poorly as it's apparently hard to make a giant robot fueled by the human spirit. Captain Mitchell decides to discontinue testing, what with the insane level of risk involved in perfecting the process. The Rangers, however, don't quite understand what's going on, and demand to keep on trying to make the thing work. Credits!
In the woods, Diabolico is still talking about all of the awesome vengeance he is going to have on Bansheera for killing Loki. Olympius shows up to finally put an end to their rivalry in a fight to the death. They duel for a while, and it becomes obvious that it's not exactly easy to move around in the costumes.
Olympius wins the fight and delivers Diabolico to Bansheera in chains. She puts some sort of mind control on Diabolico and sics him on Mariner Bay. The Rangers head to the site of the carnage and are confused as to why Diabolico is completely out of it. Olympius explains the situation and the Rangers start fighting both demons. Carter is able to get through to Diabolico, who starts fighting Olympius again. He also gives Carter some sort of magic key right before he's blown up by Olympius. The Rangers respond by blasting Olympius to bits with their Battilizers.
Bansheera decides to double down and makes both Olympius and Diabolico grow to giant-size, an act that also puts Diabolico under her mind control again for no real good reason. The Rangers decide to not waste time by summoning the Omega Megazord, Supertrain, and Lightspeed Solarzord immediately. It proves to be not enough, so Dana and Kelsey decide to retrieve the Lifeforce Megazord, you know, the megazord that runs on the life force of the Rangers. This proves to be wise as the Omega Megazord and Supertrain are badly damaged, and the Lightspeed Solarzord completely destroyed. Bansheera celebrates by causing a solar eclipse and giving her two giant monsters even more power.
Carter decides to stall the demons by firing at them with his blaster...which goes about as well as you'd think. But then the Lifeforce Megazord shows up and....it's a repainted Lightspeed Solarzord. Then again, the season finale is next episode, so I suppose it wouldn't make a ton of sense to make a brand new megazord that's only going to be in two and a half episodes. Carter starts draining the life energy of the Rangers to power up the new megazord, which seems stupid, but still kills both Olympius and Diabolico in one hit.
Elsewhere, the key Diabolico gave Carter flies to some ancient ruins and imprints itself on a wall. Uh...sure. Back in the evil lair, Bansheera wants another monster, but Jinxer's out, but he did plant a Batling card on the Lifeforce Megazord, which is apparently bad. Show Over!
Next Time: Season Finale!
Original Airdate: 11-16-2000
Last Time: Vypra Died! Oh, and some other stuff happened, but it all kind of pales in significance in comparison to the end of Vypra.
In the aquabase, the Rangers are testing Ms. Fairweather's most idiotic invention yet: a megazord that runs off the Rangers' very life force. I call it the Kamikaze Megazord. Testing goes poorly as it's apparently hard to make a giant robot fueled by the human spirit. Captain Mitchell decides to discontinue testing, what with the insane level of risk involved in perfecting the process. The Rangers, however, don't quite understand what's going on, and demand to keep on trying to make the thing work. Credits!
In the woods, Diabolico is still talking about all of the awesome vengeance he is going to have on Bansheera for killing Loki. Olympius shows up to finally put an end to their rivalry in a fight to the death. They duel for a while, and it becomes obvious that it's not exactly easy to move around in the costumes.
Olympius wins the fight and delivers Diabolico to Bansheera in chains. She puts some sort of mind control on Diabolico and sics him on Mariner Bay. The Rangers head to the site of the carnage and are confused as to why Diabolico is completely out of it. Olympius explains the situation and the Rangers start fighting both demons. Carter is able to get through to Diabolico, who starts fighting Olympius again. He also gives Carter some sort of magic key right before he's blown up by Olympius. The Rangers respond by blasting Olympius to bits with their Battilizers.
Bansheera decides to double down and makes both Olympius and Diabolico grow to giant-size, an act that also puts Diabolico under her mind control again for no real good reason. The Rangers decide to not waste time by summoning the Omega Megazord, Supertrain, and Lightspeed Solarzord immediately. It proves to be not enough, so Dana and Kelsey decide to retrieve the Lifeforce Megazord, you know, the megazord that runs on the life force of the Rangers. This proves to be wise as the Omega Megazord and Supertrain are badly damaged, and the Lightspeed Solarzord completely destroyed. Bansheera celebrates by causing a solar eclipse and giving her two giant monsters even more power.
Carter decides to stall the demons by firing at them with his blaster...which goes about as well as you'd think. But then the Lifeforce Megazord shows up and....it's a repainted Lightspeed Solarzord. Then again, the season finale is next episode, so I suppose it wouldn't make a ton of sense to make a brand new megazord that's only going to be in two and a half episodes. Carter starts draining the life energy of the Rangers to power up the new megazord, which seems stupid, but still kills both Olympius and Diabolico in one hit.
Elsewhere, the key Diabolico gave Carter flies to some ancient ruins and imprints itself on a wall. Uh...sure. Back in the evil lair, Bansheera wants another monster, but Jinxer's out, but he did plant a Batling card on the Lifeforce Megazord, which is apparently bad. Show Over!
Next Time: Season Finale!
Wrath of the Queen
Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 37
Original Airdate: 11-15-2000
Last Time: Dana learned that there was an evil force far more powerful than the demons: fashion.
At the ziggurat o' ENDENDEND, Jinxer is looking for Vypra, but finds himself in a room with a wall of fire with the demoness herself. Bansheera shows up and has decided to kill Vypra for her life energy. I heartily approve of this endeavor. And, proving herself to be the greatest heroine this season, Bansheera actually pulls it off. Huzzah! Bansheera also now has a bodily form. Credits!
Later, Loki and Diabolico have a meeting where Loki gives the big D some sort of power gem. Loki then goes to have a meeting with Bansheera where she okays his request to lead a mission to kill the Rangers. Loki leaves, and Bansheera claims that all of the demons are expendable, which irritates the eavesdropping Diabolico.
Carter is doing some running when he sees Jinxer running to cave where Olympius is convalescing. Captain Mitchell then calls him in to investigate some energy distortion at the local stadium. Unfortunately, Carter gets stopped by Olympius. The other Rangers start looking through the stadium where Loki immediately fucks up his plan, but still traps the Rangers in some sort of hell dimension anyway. It's soon revealed that the Rangers have ended up in front of the ziggurat o' convenient location. Diabolico realizes that something's not quite right here and tries to stop Loki from fighting the Rangers, but is unable to. Loki ends up fighting the Rangers in close combat, and Bansheera orders Diabolico to shoot at the Rangers, which would kill Loki. Diabolico refuses. Bansheera then takes control of his mind and makes him fire, killing Loki and subduing the Rangers. Diabolico swears some more vengeance. Bansheera is unthreatened and blasts both Diabolico and the Rangers.
Meanwhile, Carter is still fighting Olympius, until he decides to escape via that jet thing that once traveled through time. Captain Mitchell calls Carter to update the Red Ranger, and Carter decides to immediately plunge into the portal. He finds the other Rangers trapped behind a wall of fire, and Diabolico pops up to inform Carter that he needs to strike Bansheera exactly in the heart to kill her. That's...not a terribly specific weakness. I mean, where was Carter going to stab her? In the kidney?
Carter storms into the ziggurat o' fightening and runs around for a while before finding Bansheera. The fight goes poorly for Carter until he shoots her in the heart....and then gives a speech about the importance of heart, followed by him punching the demon queen through the chest. The Rangers are all transported back to Mariner Bay and celebrate....for about ten seconds before a giant Bansheera shows up, eager to continue the fight. The Rangers trot out the Lightspeed Megazord, and then Bansheera decides to split after a bit of fighting. Uh....great.
Elsewhere, Olympius is brooding until he realizes that Bansheera is still alive. Diabolico re-swears vengeance against Bansheera. On the plus side, Vypra is really, truly dead, and I should be grateful for that. Show Over!
Next Time: Carter goes to the T.J. Academy of Zord Management!
Original Airdate: 11-15-2000
Last Time: Dana learned that there was an evil force far more powerful than the demons: fashion.
At the ziggurat o' ENDENDEND, Jinxer is looking for Vypra, but finds himself in a room with a wall of fire with the demoness herself. Bansheera shows up and has decided to kill Vypra for her life energy. I heartily approve of this endeavor. And, proving herself to be the greatest heroine this season, Bansheera actually pulls it off. Huzzah! Bansheera also now has a bodily form. Credits!
Later, Loki and Diabolico have a meeting where Loki gives the big D some sort of power gem. Loki then goes to have a meeting with Bansheera where she okays his request to lead a mission to kill the Rangers. Loki leaves, and Bansheera claims that all of the demons are expendable, which irritates the eavesdropping Diabolico.
Carter is doing some running when he sees Jinxer running to cave where Olympius is convalescing. Captain Mitchell then calls him in to investigate some energy distortion at the local stadium. Unfortunately, Carter gets stopped by Olympius. The other Rangers start looking through the stadium where Loki immediately fucks up his plan, but still traps the Rangers in some sort of hell dimension anyway. It's soon revealed that the Rangers have ended up in front of the ziggurat o' convenient location. Diabolico realizes that something's not quite right here and tries to stop Loki from fighting the Rangers, but is unable to. Loki ends up fighting the Rangers in close combat, and Bansheera orders Diabolico to shoot at the Rangers, which would kill Loki. Diabolico refuses. Bansheera then takes control of his mind and makes him fire, killing Loki and subduing the Rangers. Diabolico swears some more vengeance. Bansheera is unthreatened and blasts both Diabolico and the Rangers.
Meanwhile, Carter is still fighting Olympius, until he decides to escape via that jet thing that once traveled through time. Captain Mitchell calls Carter to update the Red Ranger, and Carter decides to immediately plunge into the portal. He finds the other Rangers trapped behind a wall of fire, and Diabolico pops up to inform Carter that he needs to strike Bansheera exactly in the heart to kill her. That's...not a terribly specific weakness. I mean, where was Carter going to stab her? In the kidney?
Carter storms into the ziggurat o' fightening and runs around for a while before finding Bansheera. The fight goes poorly for Carter until he shoots her in the heart....and then gives a speech about the importance of heart, followed by him punching the demon queen through the chest. The Rangers are all transported back to Mariner Bay and celebrate....for about ten seconds before a giant Bansheera shows up, eager to continue the fight. The Rangers trot out the Lightspeed Megazord, and then Bansheera decides to split after a bit of fighting. Uh....great.
Elsewhere, Olympius is brooding until he realizes that Bansheera is still alive. Diabolico re-swears vengeance against Bansheera. On the plus side, Vypra is really, truly dead, and I should be grateful for that. Show Over!
Next Time: Carter goes to the T.J. Academy of Zord Management!
In the Limelight
Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 36
Original Airdate: 11-14-2000
Last Time: Carter merged with his motorcycle to become CyClarter, a being neither wholly man nor machine. (Note: This may not have happened)
In the ziggurat o' wrapping up, Bansheera is finally doing something to enter the real world. Vypra, seeing this, pulls Jinxer aside and asks him to make her a monster. Jinxer creates a tree monster named Treevil and I'm already sick of this episode. Credits!
In the aquabase, Dana is practicing her knowledge of the human skeleton. Kelsey says she'd make a great doctor, but Dana is worried about paying for medical school. Her dad owns a fucking aquabase, I'm sure he work something out for her like, "Hey, if you don't give my daughter a scholarship, I'll hold you hostage in my aquabase far beyond the reach of the law of man or God." Treevil attacks and they have to go fight him. Unfortunately, since we're only four minutes into the episode, they can't actually beat him yet. Dana finds a child trapped under some debris and immediately grabs her and starts running around with the child looking for a medic, exactly the way you aren't supposed to treat people with possible spinal injuries. Looks like Captain Mitchell won't have to imprison medical school admissions officers after all, because I don't think Dana is going to pass the MCAT. Some photographers snaps a few photos of Dana to set up a wholly ridiculous plot that will start.....NOW!
At some fashion office, the broadest stereotype of a person involved in the fashion industry is displeased with the headshots she's been given. Her name is Coco Cashmere, and she finds one of the photos of Dana that was taken earlier and knows that she's found her next great model.
Coco approaches Dana outside of some building and tries to recruit Dana. Oh, Dana resists for a bit, but this show's only twenty-two minutes long, so Dana changes her mind immediately after Coco points out that the money from Dana's modelling career can go towards medical school. Dana agrees and goes to a photo shoot where Coco makes Dana remove her morpher because it's not really a great fashion accessory. Then it's time for a montage showing Dana trying on lots of outfits. Show Over? Please? I'll be your friend...
Treevil decides that he really ought to get back to destroying Mariner Bay, and starts attacking the city again, only Captain Mitchell can't call in Dana because she took off her morpher. The fight does not go well, as Treevil rips a small tree out of the ground and starts beating the Rangers with it. They can't beat Treevil without Dana, but the monster decides to leave instead of capitilizing on this opportunity because he obviously hates me, and thus wants me to have to recap the next few scenes.
The Rangers return to the aquabase and wonder where Dana was. Kelsey tracks Dana down in her quarters and Dana has become fully entranced in the fashion industry in the course of her three hours of work. Dana apologizes. Show Over now? No? Damn it.
Kelsey and Dana go to the local amusement park and find a magazine with Dana's picture in it. Soon enough, people all flock around Dana looking for her autograph. A thought occurs. Shouldn't the Rangers already be being mobbed wherever they go? They don't have secret identities and they save the city roughly every other day. Seems like something people would notice. Anyway, Coco calls in to inform her that Dana has more modelling work lined up and thus Dana ditches Kelsey and her duties for the sake of fame.
Time for another montage! Dana poses! Dana gets her pitcure on more magazine covers! Dana is mobbed by aquabase staffers for an autograph! Kelsey is pissed that her unconventional good looks aren't as popular. Later, Dana sucks at training because she's afraid to break her nails or otherwise get dirty. Eventually, she accidentally drops Kelsey into a pit of mud when she gets a call as she's spotting the other girl. Anyway, Dana is now super-conceited and stuff, and apparently that's bad. Meanwhile, Treevil is still theoretically menacing the city. Captain Mitchell lets Dana leave training early to go to her photo shoot because, much like me, he's just marking time until the end of this season.
Elsewhere, Treevil has once again remembered that he's supposed to be blowing up Mariner Bay and engages the Rangers in another fight. Dana gets called in, but can't go to because she has a modelling gig. For no real good reason, this is the exact moment that she realizes that she should get back to full-time Rangering and quit the fashion business. The Rangers once more get beaten down by Treevil until Dana shows up to save them. Treevil gets blown up, gets grown to giant-size and is then blown up for good by the Lightspeed Megazord.
Later, Dana is walking out of a building when Coco drives up in her limo. Oh God, this is some sort of moebius episode that will never end, looping back in on itself for eternity! Actually, Dana has decided to pay for medical school with her "brains." I guess Captain Mitchell is going to have to start cross-training his loyal techs in kidnapping after all. Show Over!
Next Time: Vypra Dies! Vypra Dies! Vypra Dies! Vypra Dies! Vypra Dies!
Original Airdate: 11-14-2000
Last Time: Carter merged with his motorcycle to become CyClarter, a being neither wholly man nor machine. (Note: This may not have happened)
In the ziggurat o' wrapping up, Bansheera is finally doing something to enter the real world. Vypra, seeing this, pulls Jinxer aside and asks him to make her a monster. Jinxer creates a tree monster named Treevil and I'm already sick of this episode. Credits!
In the aquabase, Dana is practicing her knowledge of the human skeleton. Kelsey says she'd make a great doctor, but Dana is worried about paying for medical school. Her dad owns a fucking aquabase, I'm sure he work something out for her like, "Hey, if you don't give my daughter a scholarship, I'll hold you hostage in my aquabase far beyond the reach of the law of man or God." Treevil attacks and they have to go fight him. Unfortunately, since we're only four minutes into the episode, they can't actually beat him yet. Dana finds a child trapped under some debris and immediately grabs her and starts running around with the child looking for a medic, exactly the way you aren't supposed to treat people with possible spinal injuries. Looks like Captain Mitchell won't have to imprison medical school admissions officers after all, because I don't think Dana is going to pass the MCAT. Some photographers snaps a few photos of Dana to set up a wholly ridiculous plot that will start.....NOW!
At some fashion office, the broadest stereotype of a person involved in the fashion industry is displeased with the headshots she's been given. Her name is Coco Cashmere, and she finds one of the photos of Dana that was taken earlier and knows that she's found her next great model.
Coco approaches Dana outside of some building and tries to recruit Dana. Oh, Dana resists for a bit, but this show's only twenty-two minutes long, so Dana changes her mind immediately after Coco points out that the money from Dana's modelling career can go towards medical school. Dana agrees and goes to a photo shoot where Coco makes Dana remove her morpher because it's not really a great fashion accessory. Then it's time for a montage showing Dana trying on lots of outfits. Show Over? Please? I'll be your friend...
Treevil decides that he really ought to get back to destroying Mariner Bay, and starts attacking the city again, only Captain Mitchell can't call in Dana because she took off her morpher. The fight does not go well, as Treevil rips a small tree out of the ground and starts beating the Rangers with it. They can't beat Treevil without Dana, but the monster decides to leave instead of capitilizing on this opportunity because he obviously hates me, and thus wants me to have to recap the next few scenes.
The Rangers return to the aquabase and wonder where Dana was. Kelsey tracks Dana down in her quarters and Dana has become fully entranced in the fashion industry in the course of her three hours of work. Dana apologizes. Show Over now? No? Damn it.
Kelsey and Dana go to the local amusement park and find a magazine with Dana's picture in it. Soon enough, people all flock around Dana looking for her autograph. A thought occurs. Shouldn't the Rangers already be being mobbed wherever they go? They don't have secret identities and they save the city roughly every other day. Seems like something people would notice. Anyway, Coco calls in to inform her that Dana has more modelling work lined up and thus Dana ditches Kelsey and her duties for the sake of fame.
Time for another montage! Dana poses! Dana gets her pitcure on more magazine covers! Dana is mobbed by aquabase staffers for an autograph! Kelsey is pissed that her unconventional good looks aren't as popular. Later, Dana sucks at training because she's afraid to break her nails or otherwise get dirty. Eventually, she accidentally drops Kelsey into a pit of mud when she gets a call as she's spotting the other girl. Anyway, Dana is now super-conceited and stuff, and apparently that's bad. Meanwhile, Treevil is still theoretically menacing the city. Captain Mitchell lets Dana leave training early to go to her photo shoot because, much like me, he's just marking time until the end of this season.
Elsewhere, Treevil has once again remembered that he's supposed to be blowing up Mariner Bay and engages the Rangers in another fight. Dana gets called in, but can't go to because she has a modelling gig. For no real good reason, this is the exact moment that she realizes that she should get back to full-time Rangering and quit the fashion business. The Rangers once more get beaten down by Treevil until Dana shows up to save them. Treevil gets blown up, gets grown to giant-size and is then blown up for good by the Lightspeed Megazord.
Later, Dana is walking out of a building when Coco drives up in her limo. Oh God, this is some sort of moebius episode that will never end, looping back in on itself for eternity! Actually, Dana has decided to pay for medical school with her "brains." I guess Captain Mitchell is going to have to start cross-training his loyal techs in kidnapping after all. Show Over!
Next Time: Vypra Dies! Vypra Dies! Vypra Dies! Vypra Dies! Vypra Dies!
Web War
Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 35
Original Airdate: 11-13-2000
Last Time: Chad's quest to bone a mermaid got even more difficult when her father turned out to be Neptune.
Carter is testing out a new dirtbike armed with lasers. Ms. Fairweather informs us that this new Transarmor Cycle can also transform into clunky, poorly-designed armor. However, when Carter tries it out, he ends up getting badly injured and the bike explodes. You know, given that the last invention Carter tried out ended up shooting him backwards in time, I'm starting to doubt Ms. Fairweather's engineering abilities. Credits! Incidentally, the title sequence lasts exactly 58 seconds....it's the sort of thing you pick up when you have to go through the entire season in a short amount of time.
In the ziggurat o' goodtimes, Diabolico is looking for Jinxer, because he needs a new monster to use as cannon fodder. A spider monster, likely suicidal, comes out of nowhere and volunteers for the job. Apparently Arachnor wants to fight the Rangers in order to provide for his many, many spider-children, who are about to hatch. Oh, and Olympius and Jinxer have a talk about revenge or something.
In the city, Arachnor constructs a giant web and and starts capturing people. The Rangers show up and start fighting him, but Arachnor is able to scan their weapons, and thus be able to evade them. The Rangers decide to give up and head back to the aquabase, where Captain Mitchell promptly sends them back out to try whatever weapons they haven't used yet on the monster. Ms. Fairweather pushes for more testing on the Transarmor Cycle, and Captain Mitchell agrees.
Later, Carter once again tests the Transarmor Cycle, but can't get it to work right. Elsewhere, the Rangers fight Arachnor again. Okay, it's time for a basic Power Ranger Plot Comprehension Quiz!
1. If a new, but untested, weapon is mentioned at the beginning of the episode then:
A) The Rangers will be able to muster on without it.
B) The weapon will be rushed into service and fail catastrophically.
C) The Rangers will only be able to be saved by the new weapon, which, no matter how often it didn't work earlier in the episode, will perform flawlessly.
D) Leo sucks!
The answer, of course, is C, although D would have gotten partial credit. This being the case, the other Rangers are all captured. Carter shows up and can't find the others, but Arachnor turns into a normal spider and sneaks onto Leo's jacket in order to infiltrate the aquabase. Meanwhile, Diabolico cheerfully informs the captured Rangers that they're about to be eaten by baby spider monsters.
Anyway, Carter makes it back to the aquabase, and Ms. Fairweather wants him to test the Transarmor Cycle again. Arachnor sneaks out of Carter's jacket and starts webbing everyone and everything in the aquabase, as base security once again catastrophically fails. Carter makes the expert deduction that the aquabase should not be completely covered in webbing, and tries to warn everyone. Of course, Carter's brain works so slowly that by the time he's pieced it together, only Ms. Fairweather is still on the aquabase, and she only lasts long enough to give him the keycard to the Transarmor Plot Device.
Carter takes the keycard and activates the special motorcycles. From her lair, Vypra watches this and vows to stop Carter....oh, no....they wouldn't...Oh, yes, the Vypari is back in all of its demonic go-kart glory. Some Batlings also commandeer a couple of SUVs to prevent Carter from saving his friends, but nothing can stop him now, not even poorly shot stunt sequences.
At Arachnor's lair, the spider eggs are starting to hatch, but Carter arrives just in time to prevent the other Rangers from dying gruesome deaths. Carter fights Arachnor for a while, and eventually decides to use the armor mode. It works, but makes Carter look like a guy lugging a motorcycle on his back. Now that may seem stupid in theory, but in practice it's even dumber, as proven by Carter launching the tires of the motorcycle at the monster as an attack. Anyway, he eventually kills Arachnor.
Back at the lair, Bansheera threatens the demons some more for their failures. No wonder the demons keep failing, their boss is abusive and has created a hostile work environment. Elsewhere, the Rangers scare Carter with a plastic spider. Show Over!
Next Time: They saved the best filler episode for last...
Original Airdate: 11-13-2000
Last Time: Chad's quest to bone a mermaid got even more difficult when her father turned out to be Neptune.
Carter is testing out a new dirtbike armed with lasers. Ms. Fairweather informs us that this new Transarmor Cycle can also transform into clunky, poorly-designed armor. However, when Carter tries it out, he ends up getting badly injured and the bike explodes. You know, given that the last invention Carter tried out ended up shooting him backwards in time, I'm starting to doubt Ms. Fairweather's engineering abilities. Credits! Incidentally, the title sequence lasts exactly 58 seconds....it's the sort of thing you pick up when you have to go through the entire season in a short amount of time.
In the ziggurat o' goodtimes, Diabolico is looking for Jinxer, because he needs a new monster to use as cannon fodder. A spider monster, likely suicidal, comes out of nowhere and volunteers for the job. Apparently Arachnor wants to fight the Rangers in order to provide for his many, many spider-children, who are about to hatch. Oh, and Olympius and Jinxer have a talk about revenge or something.
In the city, Arachnor constructs a giant web and and starts capturing people. The Rangers show up and start fighting him, but Arachnor is able to scan their weapons, and thus be able to evade them. The Rangers decide to give up and head back to the aquabase, where Captain Mitchell promptly sends them back out to try whatever weapons they haven't used yet on the monster. Ms. Fairweather pushes for more testing on the Transarmor Cycle, and Captain Mitchell agrees.
Later, Carter once again tests the Transarmor Cycle, but can't get it to work right. Elsewhere, the Rangers fight Arachnor again. Okay, it's time for a basic Power Ranger Plot Comprehension Quiz!
1. If a new, but untested, weapon is mentioned at the beginning of the episode then:
A) The Rangers will be able to muster on without it.
B) The weapon will be rushed into service and fail catastrophically.
C) The Rangers will only be able to be saved by the new weapon, which, no matter how often it didn't work earlier in the episode, will perform flawlessly.
D) Leo sucks!
The answer, of course, is C, although D would have gotten partial credit. This being the case, the other Rangers are all captured. Carter shows up and can't find the others, but Arachnor turns into a normal spider and sneaks onto Leo's jacket in order to infiltrate the aquabase. Meanwhile, Diabolico cheerfully informs the captured Rangers that they're about to be eaten by baby spider monsters.
Anyway, Carter makes it back to the aquabase, and Ms. Fairweather wants him to test the Transarmor Cycle again. Arachnor sneaks out of Carter's jacket and starts webbing everyone and everything in the aquabase, as base security once again catastrophically fails. Carter makes the expert deduction that the aquabase should not be completely covered in webbing, and tries to warn everyone. Of course, Carter's brain works so slowly that by the time he's pieced it together, only Ms. Fairweather is still on the aquabase, and she only lasts long enough to give him the keycard to the Transarmor Plot Device.
Carter takes the keycard and activates the special motorcycles. From her lair, Vypra watches this and vows to stop Carter....oh, no....they wouldn't...Oh, yes, the Vypari is back in all of its demonic go-kart glory. Some Batlings also commandeer a couple of SUVs to prevent Carter from saving his friends, but nothing can stop him now, not even poorly shot stunt sequences.
At Arachnor's lair, the spider eggs are starting to hatch, but Carter arrives just in time to prevent the other Rangers from dying gruesome deaths. Carter fights Arachnor for a while, and eventually decides to use the armor mode. It works, but makes Carter look like a guy lugging a motorcycle on his back. Now that may seem stupid in theory, but in practice it's even dumber, as proven by Carter launching the tires of the motorcycle at the monster as an attack. Anyway, he eventually kills Arachnor.
Back at the lair, Bansheera threatens the demons some more for their failures. No wonder the demons keep failing, their boss is abusive and has created a hostile work environment. Elsewhere, the Rangers scare Carter with a plastic spider. Show Over!
Next Time: They saved the best filler episode for last...
Monday, July 26, 2010
Neptune's Daughter
Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue, Episode 34
Original Airdate: 11-11-2000
Last Time: Olympius returned from hell just in time to get the crap kicked out of him by the Rangers.
The Rangers hit the beach again, and Chad is still thinking about that time he almost fucked a half-fish. Chad misses her, and I don't like where this is headed. Under the sea, the producers anticipate my dread, and decide to push this episode to the limit. Marina swims up to her father, Neptune, god of the seas, who announces that he's retiring and passing his duties to his daughter. Yeah, that's right, a god has decided to retire....because he's too old....even though he's immortal....and a god. You know what, fine, let's just go with it. Man, that would be an awkward situation for Chad, though, "Bring my daughter home by ten or I shall dash thee upon the rocks as I did Ajax the Lesser for his blasphemies!" Credits!
At the ziggurat o' indifference, Diabolico has decided to steal Neptune's trident. Loki points out that there was that one episode that established that demons can't go in the water, so Diabolico decides to recruit a monster that can. Jinxer observes and reports back to the still injured Olympius. Oh, good, I'd hate for this stupid subplot to be cut short.
Diabolico summons the monster of the episode, Aquafiend to steal the trident of Neptune....and he does because this version of Neptune is just too old and sleepy to stop him. This may be the most depressing vision of a Greek god in history. Neptune wakes up later and notices that the trident is missing, and summons Marina to find it. I think it's time for Neptune to be sent to an assisted-living facility. Marina wants to get Chad involved, but needs to go on land to do so, and can only survive for a short time out of the water.
Meanwhile, Chad is moping until he sees Marina walking out of the water with legs...and, more importantly for Chad's purposes, the thing between legs! Marina explains the situation: the demons are going to use the trident to drain the water from Mariner Bay so they can sack the aquabase, which will no longer have its protective water coating.
Marina leads Chad to where the monsters are using the trident, but starts feeling the effects dehydration. Chad realizes that he's got a limited timetable to retrieve the trident and still have time to take care of business, shall we say, with Marina. He dives into a nearby lake and has to fight Aquafiend for a while. Elsewhere, Vypra finds the weakened Marina.
Chad finally manages to retrieve the trident, but he and the other Rangers must now fight some Batlings. They prove to be no real obstacle, and the Rangers blow Aquafiend to bits with the Thermo Blasters. Vypra, of course, now demands that the Rangers trade the trident for Marina's life. Chad's all for giving it back until Marina reveals that Vypra could destroy the entire world with it. Showing an uncommon amount of common sense, that makes Chad reconsider, because he realizes that Marina lives in the world, and thus if the world were destroyed, then she would also die. Vypra decides to kill a bit of time by making Aquafiend grow, which somehow makes the trident grow as well. No, I don't know why either.
Chad pulls out his Mega Battle, which is still a terrible name for...anything, really, and drives Vypra off. Chad then takes Marina back to the sea while Carter and the others kill Aquafiend again with the Omega Megazord. Carter, getting frustrated by the constant need to kill his enemies twice, grabs Aquafiend by his beak and headbutts him a few times, and then finishes his dazed opponent off. This restores the water to Mariner Bay.
Later, Marina has been put in a pool of water in the aquabase, but Ms. Fairweather really has no idea how to treat a mermaid, so Marina still isn't doing too well. Then Neptune shows up in water form to retrieve his daughter and trident. Huh....wouldn't the sudden appearance of a Greek god have grave theological ramifications for the Power Rangers Universe?
Chad goes back to the beach to mope some more, and Marina once again walks up to him and explains she can't stay long. Chad wants to pursue their relationship under the sea...where Marina has a fishtail. I think Chad saw Splash one too many times as a kid. Show Over!
Next Time: Spiders!
Original Airdate: 11-11-2000
Last Time: Olympius returned from hell just in time to get the crap kicked out of him by the Rangers.
The Rangers hit the beach again, and Chad is still thinking about that time he almost fucked a half-fish. Chad misses her, and I don't like where this is headed. Under the sea, the producers anticipate my dread, and decide to push this episode to the limit. Marina swims up to her father, Neptune, god of the seas, who announces that he's retiring and passing his duties to his daughter. Yeah, that's right, a god has decided to retire....because he's too old....even though he's immortal....and a god. You know what, fine, let's just go with it. Man, that would be an awkward situation for Chad, though, "Bring my daughter home by ten or I shall dash thee upon the rocks as I did Ajax the Lesser for his blasphemies!" Credits!
At the ziggurat o' indifference, Diabolico has decided to steal Neptune's trident. Loki points out that there was that one episode that established that demons can't go in the water, so Diabolico decides to recruit a monster that can. Jinxer observes and reports back to the still injured Olympius. Oh, good, I'd hate for this stupid subplot to be cut short.
Diabolico summons the monster of the episode, Aquafiend to steal the trident of Neptune....and he does because this version of Neptune is just too old and sleepy to stop him. This may be the most depressing vision of a Greek god in history. Neptune wakes up later and notices that the trident is missing, and summons Marina to find it. I think it's time for Neptune to be sent to an assisted-living facility. Marina wants to get Chad involved, but needs to go on land to do so, and can only survive for a short time out of the water.
Meanwhile, Chad is moping until he sees Marina walking out of the water with legs...and, more importantly for Chad's purposes, the thing between legs! Marina explains the situation: the demons are going to use the trident to drain the water from Mariner Bay so they can sack the aquabase, which will no longer have its protective water coating.
Marina leads Chad to where the monsters are using the trident, but starts feeling the effects dehydration. Chad realizes that he's got a limited timetable to retrieve the trident and still have time to take care of business, shall we say, with Marina. He dives into a nearby lake and has to fight Aquafiend for a while. Elsewhere, Vypra finds the weakened Marina.
Chad finally manages to retrieve the trident, but he and the other Rangers must now fight some Batlings. They prove to be no real obstacle, and the Rangers blow Aquafiend to bits with the Thermo Blasters. Vypra, of course, now demands that the Rangers trade the trident for Marina's life. Chad's all for giving it back until Marina reveals that Vypra could destroy the entire world with it. Showing an uncommon amount of common sense, that makes Chad reconsider, because he realizes that Marina lives in the world, and thus if the world were destroyed, then she would also die. Vypra decides to kill a bit of time by making Aquafiend grow, which somehow makes the trident grow as well. No, I don't know why either.
Chad pulls out his Mega Battle, which is still a terrible name for...anything, really, and drives Vypra off. Chad then takes Marina back to the sea while Carter and the others kill Aquafiend again with the Omega Megazord. Carter, getting frustrated by the constant need to kill his enemies twice, grabs Aquafiend by his beak and headbutts him a few times, and then finishes his dazed opponent off. This restores the water to Mariner Bay.
Later, Marina has been put in a pool of water in the aquabase, but Ms. Fairweather really has no idea how to treat a mermaid, so Marina still isn't doing too well. Then Neptune shows up in water form to retrieve his daughter and trident. Huh....wouldn't the sudden appearance of a Greek god have grave theological ramifications for the Power Rangers Universe?
Chad goes back to the beach to mope some more, and Marina once again walks up to him and explains she can't stay long. Chad wants to pursue their relationship under the sea...where Marina has a fishtail. I think Chad saw Splash one too many times as a kid. Show Over!
Next Time: Spiders!
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