Power Rangers: Wild Force, Episode 23
Original Airdate: 7-20-2002
Last Time: Another day, another zord. Also, music bad enough to inspire future generations to go back in time and prevent the existence of humanity itself to prevent it.
Master Org has taken Jindrax and Toxica on a field trip to the spot where Nayzor, Master Org's last general, got killed. They bring him back from the dead, and the Rangers arrive to find out that he's now Super-Nayzor. Merrick is concerned that he'll have to murder Nayzor all over again. Merrick decides to attack, but well, it would be rather improper to kill a monster three minutes into an episode.
Everyone except for Merrick and Cole end up badly injured, which leads the two last Rangers standing to attack Super-Nayzor again, with predictably ruinous results. Animus shows up...again and spirits the Rangers away.
Merrick and Cole get sent back to the Animarium just in time to see that Super-Nayzor is attacking the city. They haven't had enough punishment, so they go off to attack. They even try their usual chereographed introduction, which doesn't work so well with only two Rangers. It goes about as well as last time.
Back on the Animarium, Animus has deposited the bodies of the other Rangers, and has taken their spirits into one of them shadowy dimensions of mystery. A boy comes out of a doorway and explains that the Rangers have one last chance to pull it together before Animus gives up and lets them die. It turns out that there is yet another zord that has to be collected, and the Rangers can either solve a puzzle to get it or die.
Okay, so the Rangers have to piece together some sort of jigsaw, which will give them a new zord, or they have to remain in limbo forever....and there's a running clock to make it more excitied. This is shown by having sections of the platform the Rangers are on fall into a sea of lava.
Meanwhile, Cole and Merrick are still getting the crap kicked out of them.
The puzzle of destiny continues and Animus gives the Rangers a chance to get out of limbo in exchange for abandoning Cole and Merrick to their fate. They refuse, and that turns out to be a regrettable choice as the platform immediately falls apart and they start plummeting.
Back at the fight with Super-Nayzor, Cole is about to get killed when suddenly gets a new gun out of mid-air and uses it to shoot the monster. It's apparently something the other Rangers sent, and Cole uses it to kill Super-Nayzor. Jindrax and Toxica decides to just fight Cole themselves, a fight that somehow mangles Merrick in the process. Cole gets an odd feeling in his belt buckle, and that means it's time for this season's Battilizer and Cole proclaims himself the Red Savage Warrior. Um...that name....might cause some people to get a bit upset. Anyway, the armor looks as clunky and poorly designed as ever, but it is contractually obligated to win at least one fight, and so Cole is able to use it to beat Jindrax and Toxica. Er...wasn't there a monster....and the Rangers were like half-dead? Can we get back to that? Oh, and Toxica and Jindrax are also no longer brainwashed...I guess the mental conditioning was beaten out of them.
Turning off the Battilizer somehow restores the other Rangers to life, and Master Org belatedly grows Super-Nayzor to giant size. Cole summons the new Falcon Zord and together with the Giraffe, Deer, Rhino and Armadillo form a new megazord....the Isis Megazord, so named because it sounded good at one point and no one cared enough to go back and change it. Super-Nayzor engages the new megazord in an aerial duel, which ends when the Isis Megazord makes a flying bicycle kick with the Armadillo Zord. Super-Nayzor then dies at the inanity of it all.
Master Org is depressed and realizes that Toxica and Jindrax have abandoned him. The pair start to plot against Master Org as well. Later, the Rangers relate their tale of the magical dimension and the puzzle of doom in the most inarticulate way possible. Show Over!
Next Time: The gap in acting talent between this and last season becomes all too hideously clear during the annual crossover. On the plus side, twenty-three episodes of this season has made me all the happier to see those knuckleheads from Time Force again.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Sing Song
Power Rangers: Wild Force, Episode 22
Original Airdate: 7-13-2002
Last Time: Filler and filler and filler.
Jindrax and Toxica are digging up some graves, more specifically, the grave of Dr. Viktor Adler. Who's that? Why it's the secret identity of Master Org and it's time for a flashback, because there haven't been nearly enough of those the last few days. Anyway, Adler was a man who worked with Cole's parents. Jindrax and Toxica bring him his own tombstone, and Master Org chuckles at the misunderstanding. He then turns his own tombstone into the Tombstone Org by jamming it full of the spirits of dead Orgs.
But wait, there's something much more terrifying on the horizon and Shayla walks around the Animarium humming. It begins.....
The Tombstone Org attacks and the Rangers fight him, Merrick included. Cole blows him up and Toxica makes him grow. For some reason, the Rangers just can't handle him until the Deer Zord shows up. Fuck, you know this season has too many zords when they have to reach down and come up with something like the Deer Zord. Anyway, as a deer, the Deer Zord is skittish and runs off. Merrick blames himself for reasons that will become clear later, albeit that will not be good reasons. Anyway, the Tombstone Org is about half-dead, and the Rangers' zords are too damaged to finish him off. Master Org relates that the Org will get ever more powerful as he loses and comes back to life.
Later, Merrick refuses to explain the deal with the Deer Zord, because that would require spending more time with the Rangers. Fair enough. The Rangers then ask Shayla what's going on. Shayla didn't even know that the Deer Zord was still around, and decides to tell a story. Oh, for Christ's sake! Apparently Shayla used to sing for it, and I choose to immortalize the worst lyrics on Earth:
From your skies the snow gently falls to the earth
From your trees the birds nest and play
From your oceans the fish spool(?) and travel the world
Oh, nature, please don't ever go away!
Apparently the Deer Zord really dug that song, accompanied by Merrick on the flute. The Deer Zord is mad at Merrick for not playing for him for 3000 years, and that's why he ran away. Merrick decides to try and make peace with the Deer Zord by means of flute playing, but the zord just doesn't go for instrumentals. Merrick tries to explain the dire circumstances that led to him putting the princess to sleep and using the cursed mask.
Back on the Animarium, Shayla appears to be in some sort of drug-induced haze when Cole suggests singing for the Deer Zord with Merrick. But that couldn't work because the episode's only half over. Also, the Tombstone Org comes back to life. Animus pops into the magic pool to tell Shayla to just go and play with Merrick so that the episode can get a move on.
Merrick finds the Deer Zord, which is good because the Rangers are having a hell of a time beating the Tombstone Org. Merrick argues his case to the Deer Zord, but it's all for nothing until Shayla shows up so that they can get the band back together. Incidentally, the whole Merrick/Shayla pairing is kind of creepy if only because the actress playing Shayla looks a decade or more older than the guy who plays Merrick. But no time for such ramblings now, there's another verse to the crappy folk song from before:
Each day when the sun rises I hurry from my sleep
I can't wait to greet you with my song
You are every kind of flower, every animal I need
You are nature full of grace and majesty
(reprise of the first verse)
Also, there's a cheap green screen effect throughout Shayla's singing that looks like the world's cheapest music video. Anyway, that...song, inspires the Deer Zord to help the Rangers. Back in the fight, the Rangers have an oddly extended conversation about zord management that ends with Cole thanking the Rangers for their support of his decisions regarding megazord configuration. They knock the Org spirits out of the Tombstone Org, which allows them to use the new Deer Zord as a weapon to kill the Tombstone Org for good.
Later, Animus shows up in the sky to look down at the Rangers, and Merrick reveals that he and Animus used to be buds back in the day. Shayla declares that Merrick now has to come with her and make music for the Deer Zord every morning, and Merrick reluctantly agrees. The other problem with the Merrick/Shayla relationship is that Merrick never really seems to be in love with Shaya so much as he's trying to protect her from getting killed by a world that her brain just doesn't have the wherewithal to comprehend. Show Over!
Next Time: Holy fuck, there are even more fucking zords, and I don't even know how that's possible at this point.
Original Airdate: 7-13-2002
Last Time: Filler and filler and filler.
Jindrax and Toxica are digging up some graves, more specifically, the grave of Dr. Viktor Adler. Who's that? Why it's the secret identity of Master Org and it's time for a flashback, because there haven't been nearly enough of those the last few days. Anyway, Adler was a man who worked with Cole's parents. Jindrax and Toxica bring him his own tombstone, and Master Org chuckles at the misunderstanding. He then turns his own tombstone into the Tombstone Org by jamming it full of the spirits of dead Orgs.
But wait, there's something much more terrifying on the horizon and Shayla walks around the Animarium humming. It begins.....
The Tombstone Org attacks and the Rangers fight him, Merrick included. Cole blows him up and Toxica makes him grow. For some reason, the Rangers just can't handle him until the Deer Zord shows up. Fuck, you know this season has too many zords when they have to reach down and come up with something like the Deer Zord. Anyway, as a deer, the Deer Zord is skittish and runs off. Merrick blames himself for reasons that will become clear later, albeit that will not be good reasons. Anyway, the Tombstone Org is about half-dead, and the Rangers' zords are too damaged to finish him off. Master Org relates that the Org will get ever more powerful as he loses and comes back to life.
Later, Merrick refuses to explain the deal with the Deer Zord, because that would require spending more time with the Rangers. Fair enough. The Rangers then ask Shayla what's going on. Shayla didn't even know that the Deer Zord was still around, and decides to tell a story. Oh, for Christ's sake! Apparently Shayla used to sing for it, and I choose to immortalize the worst lyrics on Earth:
From your skies the snow gently falls to the earth
From your trees the birds nest and play
From your oceans the fish spool(?) and travel the world
Oh, nature, please don't ever go away!
Apparently the Deer Zord really dug that song, accompanied by Merrick on the flute. The Deer Zord is mad at Merrick for not playing for him for 3000 years, and that's why he ran away. Merrick decides to try and make peace with the Deer Zord by means of flute playing, but the zord just doesn't go for instrumentals. Merrick tries to explain the dire circumstances that led to him putting the princess to sleep and using the cursed mask.
Back on the Animarium, Shayla appears to be in some sort of drug-induced haze when Cole suggests singing for the Deer Zord with Merrick. But that couldn't work because the episode's only half over. Also, the Tombstone Org comes back to life. Animus pops into the magic pool to tell Shayla to just go and play with Merrick so that the episode can get a move on.
Merrick finds the Deer Zord, which is good because the Rangers are having a hell of a time beating the Tombstone Org. Merrick argues his case to the Deer Zord, but it's all for nothing until Shayla shows up so that they can get the band back together. Incidentally, the whole Merrick/Shayla pairing is kind of creepy if only because the actress playing Shayla looks a decade or more older than the guy who plays Merrick. But no time for such ramblings now, there's another verse to the crappy folk song from before:
Each day when the sun rises I hurry from my sleep
I can't wait to greet you with my song
You are every kind of flower, every animal I need
You are nature full of grace and majesty
(reprise of the first verse)
Also, there's a cheap green screen effect throughout Shayla's singing that looks like the world's cheapest music video. Anyway, that...song, inspires the Deer Zord to help the Rangers. Back in the fight, the Rangers have an oddly extended conversation about zord management that ends with Cole thanking the Rangers for their support of his decisions regarding megazord configuration. They knock the Org spirits out of the Tombstone Org, which allows them to use the new Deer Zord as a weapon to kill the Tombstone Org for good.
Later, Animus shows up in the sky to look down at the Rangers, and Merrick reveals that he and Animus used to be buds back in the day. Shayla declares that Merrick now has to come with her and make music for the Deer Zord every morning, and Merrick reluctantly agrees. The other problem with the Merrick/Shayla relationship is that Merrick never really seems to be in love with Shaya so much as he's trying to protect her from getting killed by a world that her brain just doesn't have the wherewithal to comprehend. Show Over!
Next Time: Holy fuck, there are even more fucking zords, and I don't even know how that's possible at this point.
A Father's Footsteps
Power Rangers: Wild Force, Episode 21
Original Airdate: 7-6-2002
Last Time: Danny managed to win Kendall's heart, but Danny being Danny, she still broke up with him.
Some martial artist is practicing in front of a shrine, when the Samurai armor inside that shrine comes to life as the Samurai Org. Yes, it's going to be one of those episodes. He challenges the martial artist to mortal combat, and wins. Jindrax and Toxica show up to give him a sword and orders to kill the Rangers.
Meanwhile, Alyssa uses her superior martial arts skills to beat up Danny and Max in a sparring session. Now, you're probably saying to yourself, "Wait a minute, since when does Alyssa have any martial arts skills?" And I promise you that this episode will go easier for all of us if you just accept that Alyssa is, and always has been, great at that sort of thing. Also, it's Danny and Max, not Bruce Lee. Alyssa explains that she was taught by her dad. This will prove less innocuous a bit later.
Later, Alyssa makes the team some pancakes, because she's also a great cook. But wait, it gets better! Taylor shows Danny and Max that Taylor just won a scholarship for maintaining a perfect grade point average. Holy fuck, at the rate this episode is going, Alyssa is going to evolve into a god-like being and create world peace by the fifteen minute mark. Anyway, Alyssa gets a call from her dad, who is in town on business and wants to meet her. She agrees to meet him after her biology class.
It's time for a montage of Alyssa's day because, I don't know, I guess we haven't properly been informed of Alyssa's greatness. She gets an A+ on a test! She studies....presumably perfectly! She does some aerobics!
Elsewhere, some guys are fighting with each other. Alyssa's dad shows up to meet with the sensei of the dojo. Back at the university, Alyssa sees a flier for a karate club, and that means that it's time for a flashback. The scene progression here is rather odd, to say the least. In the past, Alyssa was her father's prize pupil and was capable of beating up four guys at a time. Alyssa then tells her father that she wants to go to college instead of following in her father's footsteps as some sort of all=purpose karate guru. Her father doesn't take it well, and that's the end of the flashback.
Alyssa's dad talks to his fellow sensei. The sensei's son is willing to take his father's place at the dojo, but as for Alyssa's dad....well, I guess his martial arts discipline dies with him. That would be tragic if it didn't come out of nowhere.
Anyway, the Samurai Org is attacking town to try to get this episode back on track. Alyssa's in class, but gets a call from Shayla to go and fight the damn Org, and Alyssa's in a bind because she has to meet her father soon. But, well, the monster fight goes long and she inadvertently ditches her dad, and can't explain the truth because....wait, are they doing the secret identity thing this season? At any rate, her dad decides to go to the scene of her last class to find her. He ends up meeting with Alyssa's professor, who explains that she left class early. This revelation sends us right back into another flashback. Alyssa explains to her dad that she wants to go to college, and her dad will let her go if she can block a bamboo stick swung by her father. She fails, but hitting his daughter with the rod makes Alyssa's dad relent and let her go to college. Er...wait, so this has all been settled?
The fight between the Rangers and Samurai Org continues, and Alyssa's dad hears sounds of the struggle and runs off to investigate. And...wouldn't you know, Alyssa finds herself in a situation where she has to stop the Samurai Org's sword. Alyssa's dad realizes, based on the distinctive style, that the White Ranger is Alyssa. He's delighted and strolls off. Samurai Org gets Savage Slashed.
But wait, there's still five minutes left in the episode! Megazord Time Killer Strike! The Rangers go for variety and call out the Kongazord. Alyssa then calls on the Tiger Zord to destroy the Samurai Org's sword, and that about does it for the monster.
Time for one more flashback! Alyssa remembers overhearing her dad explaining to her mother that he accepts Alyssa's decision to go to college. In the present, Alyssa catches up to her dad, just in time for him to leave. He tells her how proud he is. We're done? We're done! Show Over!
Next Time: You think you've seen the worst this season has to offer, don't you? But how can you say that when you haven't even heard Shayla sing?
Original Airdate: 7-6-2002
Last Time: Danny managed to win Kendall's heart, but Danny being Danny, she still broke up with him.
Some martial artist is practicing in front of a shrine, when the Samurai armor inside that shrine comes to life as the Samurai Org. Yes, it's going to be one of those episodes. He challenges the martial artist to mortal combat, and wins. Jindrax and Toxica show up to give him a sword and orders to kill the Rangers.
Meanwhile, Alyssa uses her superior martial arts skills to beat up Danny and Max in a sparring session. Now, you're probably saying to yourself, "Wait a minute, since when does Alyssa have any martial arts skills?" And I promise you that this episode will go easier for all of us if you just accept that Alyssa is, and always has been, great at that sort of thing. Also, it's Danny and Max, not Bruce Lee. Alyssa explains that she was taught by her dad. This will prove less innocuous a bit later.
Later, Alyssa makes the team some pancakes, because she's also a great cook. But wait, it gets better! Taylor shows Danny and Max that Taylor just won a scholarship for maintaining a perfect grade point average. Holy fuck, at the rate this episode is going, Alyssa is going to evolve into a god-like being and create world peace by the fifteen minute mark. Anyway, Alyssa gets a call from her dad, who is in town on business and wants to meet her. She agrees to meet him after her biology class.
It's time for a montage of Alyssa's day because, I don't know, I guess we haven't properly been informed of Alyssa's greatness. She gets an A+ on a test! She studies....presumably perfectly! She does some aerobics!
Elsewhere, some guys are fighting with each other. Alyssa's dad shows up to meet with the sensei of the dojo. Back at the university, Alyssa sees a flier for a karate club, and that means that it's time for a flashback. The scene progression here is rather odd, to say the least. In the past, Alyssa was her father's prize pupil and was capable of beating up four guys at a time. Alyssa then tells her father that she wants to go to college instead of following in her father's footsteps as some sort of all=purpose karate guru. Her father doesn't take it well, and that's the end of the flashback.
Alyssa's dad talks to his fellow sensei. The sensei's son is willing to take his father's place at the dojo, but as for Alyssa's dad....well, I guess his martial arts discipline dies with him. That would be tragic if it didn't come out of nowhere.
Anyway, the Samurai Org is attacking town to try to get this episode back on track. Alyssa's in class, but gets a call from Shayla to go and fight the damn Org, and Alyssa's in a bind because she has to meet her father soon. But, well, the monster fight goes long and she inadvertently ditches her dad, and can't explain the truth because....wait, are they doing the secret identity thing this season? At any rate, her dad decides to go to the scene of her last class to find her. He ends up meeting with Alyssa's professor, who explains that she left class early. This revelation sends us right back into another flashback. Alyssa explains to her dad that she wants to go to college, and her dad will let her go if she can block a bamboo stick swung by her father. She fails, but hitting his daughter with the rod makes Alyssa's dad relent and let her go to college. Er...wait, so this has all been settled?
The fight between the Rangers and Samurai Org continues, and Alyssa's dad hears sounds of the struggle and runs off to investigate. And...wouldn't you know, Alyssa finds herself in a situation where she has to stop the Samurai Org's sword. Alyssa's dad realizes, based on the distinctive style, that the White Ranger is Alyssa. He's delighted and strolls off. Samurai Org gets Savage Slashed.
But wait, there's still five minutes left in the episode! Megazord Time Killer Strike! The Rangers go for variety and call out the Kongazord. Alyssa then calls on the Tiger Zord to destroy the Samurai Org's sword, and that about does it for the monster.
Time for one more flashback! Alyssa remembers overhearing her dad explaining to her mother that he accepts Alyssa's decision to go to college. In the present, Alyssa catches up to her dad, just in time for him to leave. He tells her how proud he is. We're done? We're done! Show Over!
Next Time: You think you've seen the worst this season has to offer, don't you? But how can you say that when you haven't even heard Shayla sing?
Three's A Crowd
Power Rangers: Wild Force, Episode 20
Original Airdate: 6-29-2002
Last Time: Max was forced to come to terms with the regrets of his past so that he could make a better future. This season being what it is, this involved bowling.
On the Animarium, the new Org is set up....it's a Wedding Dress Org. Okay, full-stop! That's the dumbest villain ever, and, having done over 200 of these recaps, I've seen some pretty bad monsters, but a wedding dress-themed monster? Really? What the fuck? Anyway, this leads Danny to start blathering about the nature of love. Fortunately, the monster attacks so I don't have to listen to them anymore.
Now, it just so happens that the Wedding Dress Org's M.O. is to kidnap brides for whatever reason, and so the Rangers are forced to chase him through a wedding chapel. Danny runs into Kendall, Danny's love interest, which leads to Danny losing whatever composue he normally has. That's unfortunate, because the monster uses the opportunity to turn another bride into a mannequin.
Later, the Rangers regroup and Danny starts fantasizing about Kendall. You know, it's a good thing that the Rangers are going up against the worst villain in this franchise's history, because otherwise they'd be totally dead. Anyway, Danny sucks even in his own daydreams and dreamKendall gets kidnapped by the Wedding Dress Org. Danny then makes up an excuse to go see Kendall, but gets cut off by some blonde douche who also has his eyes on Danny's girl. Where this guy came from is unknown, and there's a case to be made that he's actually just a manifestation of Danny's fears and self-doubts....I shall call him Anti-Danny. Anyway, Danny remembers that he was supposed to warn Kendall not to go to set up any weddings, but Anti-Danny offers to give her a ride in his luxury convertible. I'm pretty sure Anti-Danny is a guy, but he might actually just be a very butch lesbian. Danny tries to follow them, but Anti-Danny just speeds off.
At the church, Kendall is setting up while Danny and Anti-Danny compete for her heart. Hijinks ensue as they turn it into a competition. The Wedding Dress Org attacks, and it's Danny time to shine...right up until Kendall manages to get knocked through a pyramid of wine glasses. Kendall and Anti-Danny catch Danny morphing into the Black Ranger...and doesn't that mean that he loses his powers? No....damn it. The other Rangers show and the Wedding Dress Org flees.
Later, the Rangers celebrates before they realize that the kidnapped brides are still missing. Danny makes a friendship bracelet for Kendall in his latest, slightly pathetic, bid to woo her. He heads over to the florist's shop and learns that Kendall is in the hospital. He rushes over and Anti-Danny confronts him. As Anti-Danny is everything that Danny is not, he uses his superior self-confidence and rhetoric to convince Danny that, as the Black Ranger, he cannot have a mate, else she be slain by a vengeful monster, and further, that Danny must focus him mind on the saving of mankind rather than but a tiny member of that race. Ergo, he must step aside and allow Anti-Danny to give her a good life. Anti-Danny then further loads the dice by showing that he has the wealth to be able to give Kendall a diamond bracelet....and then the Wedding Dress Org attacks, driving Anti-Danny's points home. And thus did Anti-Danny lay Danny low on the battlefield of love. Danny surrenders and asks Anti-Danny to give Kendall his friendship bracelet.
Anti-Danny seizes the day and gives Kendall his diamond bracelet, and makes his pitch to Kendall. Apparently he went to Harvard Business School and was smart enough to avoid the dot-com bubble. Unfortunately, Anti-Danny actually stealing Kendall from Danny, while realistic, would be slow-crushingly depressing. Well, soul-crushingly depressing in the abstract. In reality, Danny is so unlikable that his exact opposite isn't any less likable than him, but, well, here we are. Kendall decides to sneak out of the hospital so that she can....I have no idea why, actually.
Danny, of course, has the mental fortitude of an especially weak-willed gerbil, and so gets distracted in his latest fight with the Wedding Dress Org. Kendall apparently knows this, and that was the reason she left the hospital. Merrick gets called in so that he can find the missing brides and tie up any other loose ends. The Rangers then Savage Slash the Wedding Dress Org to death.
Round dos! The Rangers kill it with the Elephant Zord and Merrick takes a good long time looking for the brides....where he realizes that they've been turned into mannequins, which he somehow cures by shooting at them. I'm not actually sure why this plot thread existed, to be honest.
Anyway, it's time to wrap up things up with Danny and Kendall. Kendall explains that she can't go out with him because it would distract him from his Rangering duties. Awesome, so Danny ends up not getting girl after all that. It sucks to be Danny. Show Over!
Next Time: Hey, remember the episode where we learned Max's origin story, and it was so very, very stupid. I bet you think that it would be impossible to come up with anything worse than that. Well, let's just say that you're about to lose that bet....also, your sanity.
Original Airdate: 6-29-2002
Last Time: Max was forced to come to terms with the regrets of his past so that he could make a better future. This season being what it is, this involved bowling.
On the Animarium, the new Org is set up....it's a Wedding Dress Org. Okay, full-stop! That's the dumbest villain ever, and, having done over 200 of these recaps, I've seen some pretty bad monsters, but a wedding dress-themed monster? Really? What the fuck? Anyway, this leads Danny to start blathering about the nature of love. Fortunately, the monster attacks so I don't have to listen to them anymore.
Now, it just so happens that the Wedding Dress Org's M.O. is to kidnap brides for whatever reason, and so the Rangers are forced to chase him through a wedding chapel. Danny runs into Kendall, Danny's love interest, which leads to Danny losing whatever composue he normally has. That's unfortunate, because the monster uses the opportunity to turn another bride into a mannequin.
Later, the Rangers regroup and Danny starts fantasizing about Kendall. You know, it's a good thing that the Rangers are going up against the worst villain in this franchise's history, because otherwise they'd be totally dead. Anyway, Danny sucks even in his own daydreams and dreamKendall gets kidnapped by the Wedding Dress Org. Danny then makes up an excuse to go see Kendall, but gets cut off by some blonde douche who also has his eyes on Danny's girl. Where this guy came from is unknown, and there's a case to be made that he's actually just a manifestation of Danny's fears and self-doubts....I shall call him Anti-Danny. Anyway, Danny remembers that he was supposed to warn Kendall not to go to set up any weddings, but Anti-Danny offers to give her a ride in his luxury convertible. I'm pretty sure Anti-Danny is a guy, but he might actually just be a very butch lesbian. Danny tries to follow them, but Anti-Danny just speeds off.
At the church, Kendall is setting up while Danny and Anti-Danny compete for her heart. Hijinks ensue as they turn it into a competition. The Wedding Dress Org attacks, and it's Danny time to shine...right up until Kendall manages to get knocked through a pyramid of wine glasses. Kendall and Anti-Danny catch Danny morphing into the Black Ranger...and doesn't that mean that he loses his powers? No....damn it. The other Rangers show and the Wedding Dress Org flees.
Later, the Rangers celebrates before they realize that the kidnapped brides are still missing. Danny makes a friendship bracelet for Kendall in his latest, slightly pathetic, bid to woo her. He heads over to the florist's shop and learns that Kendall is in the hospital. He rushes over and Anti-Danny confronts him. As Anti-Danny is everything that Danny is not, he uses his superior self-confidence and rhetoric to convince Danny that, as the Black Ranger, he cannot have a mate, else she be slain by a vengeful monster, and further, that Danny must focus him mind on the saving of mankind rather than but a tiny member of that race. Ergo, he must step aside and allow Anti-Danny to give her a good life. Anti-Danny then further loads the dice by showing that he has the wealth to be able to give Kendall a diamond bracelet....and then the Wedding Dress Org attacks, driving Anti-Danny's points home. And thus did Anti-Danny lay Danny low on the battlefield of love. Danny surrenders and asks Anti-Danny to give Kendall his friendship bracelet.
Anti-Danny seizes the day and gives Kendall his diamond bracelet, and makes his pitch to Kendall. Apparently he went to Harvard Business School and was smart enough to avoid the dot-com bubble. Unfortunately, Anti-Danny actually stealing Kendall from Danny, while realistic, would be slow-crushingly depressing. Well, soul-crushingly depressing in the abstract. In reality, Danny is so unlikable that his exact opposite isn't any less likable than him, but, well, here we are. Kendall decides to sneak out of the hospital so that she can....I have no idea why, actually.
Danny, of course, has the mental fortitude of an especially weak-willed gerbil, and so gets distracted in his latest fight with the Wedding Dress Org. Kendall apparently knows this, and that was the reason she left the hospital. Merrick gets called in so that he can find the missing brides and tie up any other loose ends. The Rangers then Savage Slash the Wedding Dress Org to death.
Round dos! The Rangers kill it with the Elephant Zord and Merrick takes a good long time looking for the brides....where he realizes that they've been turned into mannequins, which he somehow cures by shooting at them. I'm not actually sure why this plot thread existed, to be honest.
Anyway, it's time to wrap up things up with Danny and Kendall. Kendall explains that she can't go out with him because it would distract him from his Rangering duties. Awesome, so Danny ends up not getting girl after all that. It sucks to be Danny. Show Over!
Next Time: Hey, remember the episode where we learned Max's origin story, and it was so very, very stupid. I bet you think that it would be impossible to come up with anything worse than that. Well, let's just say that you're about to lose that bet....also, your sanity.
The Tornado Spin
Power Rangers: Wild Force, Episode 19
Original Airdate: 6-15-2002
Last Time: Cole lost his memory and went to live on a farm upstate....which made sense because Alyssa found out that Cole had been declared dead twenty years ago.
In the chamber of evil, Master Org makes the brainwashed Toxica and Jindrax fight each other. He eventually gets bored and decides to send the two to get another Org and fight the Rangers. He then looks at his picture of Cole's parents some more.
On the Animarium, Max is getting rid of some old stuff and Danny finds a bowling trophy. It turns out that Max used to be a championship bowler, but Max doesn't want to talk about it.
Elsewhere, Jindrax and Toxica catastrophically misinterpret Master Org's instruction to "strike hard" at the Rangers and summon the Bowling Org. This leads the monster attacking the people of Turtle Cove with bowling balls. The Rangers, presumably rather confused, show up and start fighting him, but the monster blows them all away with a well-placed throw.
The Rangers recover and Max realizes that there's only one way to beat a Bowling Org: with Bowling! The Rangers head down the local bowling alley to meet Max's bowling mentor, whose name is Don....that's rather disappointing, I mean, if you're going to have a bowling-themed episode, you might as well give the Max's old coach a name like Gutterball McGee or something. Anyway, Don wants nothing to do with Max, as when Max abandoned his training, it broke Don's heart and left him unable to bowl.
Flashback Time! Max remembers when Don taught him to bowl, but one day when Max was walking home from bowling practice, he ran into an Org. Alyssa and Taylor, who were already Rangers by that point, showed up and saved him. This somehow led to Max suddenly getting the Blue Ranger powers. Anyway, as a Ranger, he could bowl any more because....I don't he just couldn't so he had to quit. Flashback Over!
Max tries to convince Don to train him again so that he can beat the Bowling Org. Cole attempts to barter services for the training. Alyssa can cook for Don! Taylor can organize Don's apartment! Danny can....wash Don's bowling balls! Don wants none of those things, as he hates quitters more than anything. Danny tries to reason with Don, but to no avail.
Max decides that he'll have to train by himself, and tries to remember how to bowl, because for some unknowable reason that's the only way to beat the Org of the week. Oh, it may seem completely insane that that's how the episode is going, but, well, what are you going to do? Max is depressed and reveals that only the power of the Tornado Spin can defeat the monster. Don, realizing that this episode is going nowhere fast, relents and agrees to instruct Max in his secret technique of bowling devastation. In fairness, the Tornado Spin is rather impressive as it leaves a trail of fire behind and utterly destroys the pins it hits. I don't know that it's tournament legal, though. Well, having learned all this, it is time for Max to reach his bowling destiny and defeat all thouse who stand as pins before him.
Meanwhile, Merrick stalls by trying to use his weapon as a pool cue to stop the Bowling Org's deadly, deadly rampage. Obviously, however, a pool cue cannot stop a bowling ball, magic or not, and his attempt fails. But that doesn't really matter, as Max shows up with Don's lucky ball and the final confrontation is ready to begin! The monster and Max roll bowling balls at each other, and Max defeats the Bowling Org. The monster then gets killed by the Savage Slash.
Unfortunately, like most monsters, Bowling Org has to be killed again as a giant in order to really be killed. Being grown gives Bowling Org his ball back, which allows him to break apart the Wild Force Megazord with one good roll. The Predazord also is beaten. The Rangers decide to cobble together pieces of their and Merrick's megazords to form a new configuration. They then call the Armadillo Zord to act as a Bowling Ball, and are finally able to kill the Bowling Org.
Later, Don has somehow been inspired to return to coaching bowling and Max returns his ball, and Don accepts that Max has something to do that prevents him from becoming a pro bowler. And with that, the madness finally stops. Show Over!
Next Time: The punishment train keeps a-rolling as it's time for another Danny episode. This time, Danny must face off against the doucheiest man alive in order to win his girl's heart.
Original Airdate: 6-15-2002
Last Time: Cole lost his memory and went to live on a farm upstate....which made sense because Alyssa found out that Cole had been declared dead twenty years ago.
In the chamber of evil, Master Org makes the brainwashed Toxica and Jindrax fight each other. He eventually gets bored and decides to send the two to get another Org and fight the Rangers. He then looks at his picture of Cole's parents some more.
On the Animarium, Max is getting rid of some old stuff and Danny finds a bowling trophy. It turns out that Max used to be a championship bowler, but Max doesn't want to talk about it.
Elsewhere, Jindrax and Toxica catastrophically misinterpret Master Org's instruction to "strike hard" at the Rangers and summon the Bowling Org. This leads the monster attacking the people of Turtle Cove with bowling balls. The Rangers, presumably rather confused, show up and start fighting him, but the monster blows them all away with a well-placed throw.
The Rangers recover and Max realizes that there's only one way to beat a Bowling Org: with Bowling! The Rangers head down the local bowling alley to meet Max's bowling mentor, whose name is Don....that's rather disappointing, I mean, if you're going to have a bowling-themed episode, you might as well give the Max's old coach a name like Gutterball McGee or something. Anyway, Don wants nothing to do with Max, as when Max abandoned his training, it broke Don's heart and left him unable to bowl.
Flashback Time! Max remembers when Don taught him to bowl, but one day when Max was walking home from bowling practice, he ran into an Org. Alyssa and Taylor, who were already Rangers by that point, showed up and saved him. This somehow led to Max suddenly getting the Blue Ranger powers. Anyway, as a Ranger, he could bowl any more because....I don't he just couldn't so he had to quit. Flashback Over!
Max tries to convince Don to train him again so that he can beat the Bowling Org. Cole attempts to barter services for the training. Alyssa can cook for Don! Taylor can organize Don's apartment! Danny can....wash Don's bowling balls! Don wants none of those things, as he hates quitters more than anything. Danny tries to reason with Don, but to no avail.
Max decides that he'll have to train by himself, and tries to remember how to bowl, because for some unknowable reason that's the only way to beat the Org of the week. Oh, it may seem completely insane that that's how the episode is going, but, well, what are you going to do? Max is depressed and reveals that only the power of the Tornado Spin can defeat the monster. Don, realizing that this episode is going nowhere fast, relents and agrees to instruct Max in his secret technique of bowling devastation. In fairness, the Tornado Spin is rather impressive as it leaves a trail of fire behind and utterly destroys the pins it hits. I don't know that it's tournament legal, though. Well, having learned all this, it is time for Max to reach his bowling destiny and defeat all thouse who stand as pins before him.
Meanwhile, Merrick stalls by trying to use his weapon as a pool cue to stop the Bowling Org's deadly, deadly rampage. Obviously, however, a pool cue cannot stop a bowling ball, magic or not, and his attempt fails. But that doesn't really matter, as Max shows up with Don's lucky ball and the final confrontation is ready to begin! The monster and Max roll bowling balls at each other, and Max defeats the Bowling Org. The monster then gets killed by the Savage Slash.
Unfortunately, like most monsters, Bowling Org has to be killed again as a giant in order to really be killed. Being grown gives Bowling Org his ball back, which allows him to break apart the Wild Force Megazord with one good roll. The Predazord also is beaten. The Rangers decide to cobble together pieces of their and Merrick's megazords to form a new configuration. They then call the Armadillo Zord to act as a Bowling Ball, and are finally able to kill the Bowling Org.
Later, Don has somehow been inspired to return to coaching bowling and Max returns his ball, and Don accepts that Max has something to do that prevents him from becoming a pro bowler. And with that, the madness finally stops. Show Over!
Next Time: The punishment train keeps a-rolling as it's time for another Danny episode. This time, Danny must face off against the doucheiest man alive in order to win his girl's heart.
Secrets and Lies
Power Rangers: Wild Force, Episode 18
Original Airdate: 6-8-2002
Last Time: Merrick hung out at the Double Deuce and got a new motorcycle.
In the evil lair of evil, Jindrax catches Master Org interrogating Toxica with the help of some force electricity. Jindrax steps in to save them, and Master Org sends them out to get a new Org.
In town, Alyssa sees Cole looking for his parents....by talking to local dogs. Now that seems stupid, but when you consider that given Cole's age as well as the fact that he was a baby when his parents died, it turns out that the dogs weren't even alive when Cole's parents were murdered. Of course, then again, he was talking to dogs, which isn't the sort of plan that really needs nit-picking.
Alyssa decides to help out the moron by using the power of microfiche to find Cole's parents. She finds something in about ten seconds but has to wait for the printer to print it out before reading the information because....er, I have no idea. But it has to be printed, and since the writers are just putting up all sorts of arbitrary roadblocks to finding out the truth, the printer is apparently from roughly 1985 and therefore takes forever to print. And yet, that's not enough for the writers, so an Org attacks before the printing is completed and Alyssa and Cole have to deal with that.
The Org of the week is Signal Org, who has all of the mighty power of a traffic signal. Now, you probably didn't know this, but traffic signals have specials beams that can cause amnesia and thus Cole loses his memory. The monster then decides to ensure that the revelation about Cole's parents' fate is delayed even further by knocking him into a river.
The rest of the Rangers eventually find Alyssa, but Cole is still missing. The missing Ranger turns up on a farm where he wakes up to find that he's in the home of some Real Americans. The kind who work hard on their family farms, but worry about the future because of the terrible burden that the estate tax will put on their daughter. Won't you write your Congressman about making sure that the death tax stays dead?
Wait, where was I? Oh, yeah, Cole is an amnesiac on a farm. Ma and Pa Whitebread let him stay and work on the farm.
On the Animarium, Alyssa is still depressed and the Rangers search for Cole in the least helpful ways imaginable, including Max and Danny standing out in the middle of nowhere yelling 'Cole.' Alyssa gets the phone call that the article about Cole's parent has finally finished printing, and that took, what, like a day and a half or something? Alyssa looks at paper and sees an unpleasant truth about Cole's parents.
Somehow, Max and Danny's wandering have led them right to Cole. On the farm, Cole's ability to talk to the animals has allowed him to be super-efficient at cow management. The Rangers show up and Taylor has no patience for this nonsense and wants to get Cole back to work. Alyssa disagrees because she's knows the truth about Coles' parents...and it's not pleasant. She shows the Rangers the article, which manages to have a typo in the headline. Anyway, it turns out that Cole's parents, another scientist, and Cole himself are all presumed dead. So, Cole's a zombie? Taylor isn't particularly concerned, and still wants to drag Cole back into the fight against the Orgs. The other Rangers, having but .56 of a spine between the three of them, cave instantly.
They introduce themselves to Cole and the hot farmer chick that he's been hanging out with, and try to take him back. The farmer girl wants him to stay, but Cole, despite not remembering these people at all, instantly decides to go. But enough of that, it's time for another fight with Signal Org. Cole doesn't remember how to fight, so he can't help, and the Rangers gets beaten, and Cole insist the he can help. Taylor, realizing that the worst that could happen is Cole getting killed and her becoming leader of the Rangers again, gives Cole his morpher back. Lamentably, Cole doesn't die and instead leads the Rangers to victory over Signal Org.
And this somehow causes Cole's memory to come back. Eh, I guess that plot thread did need to get disposed of. Okay, time for the megazord battle. Come on, no soccer, no soccer, no soccer....and yes, the Rangers go with the Giraffe Spear! Signal Org dies again and is sent to perdition.
Later, Toxica, having learned nothing from Master Org frying her at the beginning of the episode, decides to investigate Master Org further. She finds a picture of a human-looking Master Org hanging out with Cole's parents....just in time for Master Org to come in. Toxica knocks off Master Org's horn and...yep, he's human. Unfortunately, that revelation does them no good as Master Org entwines the pair in vines and places them under his mental control.
At the local graveyard, Shayla and the Rangers find Cole's parents' graves....also, Cole's grave. He's on the verge of tears, although since the graves are empty, and they mistakenly put up a grave for Cole himself, I don't know that this proves that they're actually dead. Then again, Cole probably thinks that finding his own grave means that he's dead and is sad that he died without getting a chance to say goodbye to himself. Taylor points out this obvious discrepancy, which cheers Cole up, albeit not enough to get him to dance on his own grave, which would have been funny. Show Over!
Next Time: Hey, remember that episode of Turbo where T.J. had to learn to hit a curveball or else everyone would die? No? Well, it happened. Anyway, it took the producers five years, but they finally managed to figure out a way to make that plot even dumber.
Original Airdate: 6-8-2002
Last Time: Merrick hung out at the Double Deuce and got a new motorcycle.
In the evil lair of evil, Jindrax catches Master Org interrogating Toxica with the help of some force electricity. Jindrax steps in to save them, and Master Org sends them out to get a new Org.
In town, Alyssa sees Cole looking for his parents....by talking to local dogs. Now that seems stupid, but when you consider that given Cole's age as well as the fact that he was a baby when his parents died, it turns out that the dogs weren't even alive when Cole's parents were murdered. Of course, then again, he was talking to dogs, which isn't the sort of plan that really needs nit-picking.
Alyssa decides to help out the moron by using the power of microfiche to find Cole's parents. She finds something in about ten seconds but has to wait for the printer to print it out before reading the information because....er, I have no idea. But it has to be printed, and since the writers are just putting up all sorts of arbitrary roadblocks to finding out the truth, the printer is apparently from roughly 1985 and therefore takes forever to print. And yet, that's not enough for the writers, so an Org attacks before the printing is completed and Alyssa and Cole have to deal with that.
The Org of the week is Signal Org, who has all of the mighty power of a traffic signal. Now, you probably didn't know this, but traffic signals have specials beams that can cause amnesia and thus Cole loses his memory. The monster then decides to ensure that the revelation about Cole's parents' fate is delayed even further by knocking him into a river.
The rest of the Rangers eventually find Alyssa, but Cole is still missing. The missing Ranger turns up on a farm where he wakes up to find that he's in the home of some Real Americans. The kind who work hard on their family farms, but worry about the future because of the terrible burden that the estate tax will put on their daughter. Won't you write your Congressman about making sure that the death tax stays dead?
Wait, where was I? Oh, yeah, Cole is an amnesiac on a farm. Ma and Pa Whitebread let him stay and work on the farm.
On the Animarium, Alyssa is still depressed and the Rangers search for Cole in the least helpful ways imaginable, including Max and Danny standing out in the middle of nowhere yelling 'Cole.' Alyssa gets the phone call that the article about Cole's parent has finally finished printing, and that took, what, like a day and a half or something? Alyssa looks at paper and sees an unpleasant truth about Cole's parents.
Somehow, Max and Danny's wandering have led them right to Cole. On the farm, Cole's ability to talk to the animals has allowed him to be super-efficient at cow management. The Rangers show up and Taylor has no patience for this nonsense and wants to get Cole back to work. Alyssa disagrees because she's knows the truth about Coles' parents...and it's not pleasant. She shows the Rangers the article, which manages to have a typo in the headline. Anyway, it turns out that Cole's parents, another scientist, and Cole himself are all presumed dead. So, Cole's a zombie? Taylor isn't particularly concerned, and still wants to drag Cole back into the fight against the Orgs. The other Rangers, having but .56 of a spine between the three of them, cave instantly.
They introduce themselves to Cole and the hot farmer chick that he's been hanging out with, and try to take him back. The farmer girl wants him to stay, but Cole, despite not remembering these people at all, instantly decides to go. But enough of that, it's time for another fight with Signal Org. Cole doesn't remember how to fight, so he can't help, and the Rangers gets beaten, and Cole insist the he can help. Taylor, realizing that the worst that could happen is Cole getting killed and her becoming leader of the Rangers again, gives Cole his morpher back. Lamentably, Cole doesn't die and instead leads the Rangers to victory over Signal Org.
And this somehow causes Cole's memory to come back. Eh, I guess that plot thread did need to get disposed of. Okay, time for the megazord battle. Come on, no soccer, no soccer, no soccer....and yes, the Rangers go with the Giraffe Spear! Signal Org dies again and is sent to perdition.
Later, Toxica, having learned nothing from Master Org frying her at the beginning of the episode, decides to investigate Master Org further. She finds a picture of a human-looking Master Org hanging out with Cole's parents....just in time for Master Org to come in. Toxica knocks off Master Org's horn and...yep, he's human. Unfortunately, that revelation does them no good as Master Org entwines the pair in vines and places them under his mental control.
At the local graveyard, Shayla and the Rangers find Cole's parents' graves....also, Cole's grave. He's on the verge of tears, although since the graves are empty, and they mistakenly put up a grave for Cole himself, I don't know that this proves that they're actually dead. Then again, Cole probably thinks that finding his own grave means that he's dead and is sad that he died without getting a chance to say goodbye to himself. Taylor points out this obvious discrepancy, which cheers Cole up, albeit not enough to get him to dance on his own grave, which would have been funny. Show Over!
Next Time: Hey, remember that episode of Turbo where T.J. had to learn to hit a curveball or else everyone would die? No? Well, it happened. Anyway, it took the producers five years, but they finally managed to figure out a way to make that plot even dumber.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Power Play
Power Rangers: Wild Force, Episode 17
Original Airdate: 6-1-2002
Last Time: Merrick became the Wolf Ranger and proved to be more competent than the rest of the team combined. Realizing that he was way too awesome to hang out with those losers, he then refused to join the team.
3000 years ago, Merrick gave Shayla her necklace, and later explained that Shayla had to go sleep on the Animarium while he went off to fight Master Org. In the present, Alyssa wants to know how many more generals Master Org has at his disposal, and Shayla answers that she's glad Merrick's back. Well, at least she didn't say "I don't know."
Meanwhile, everyone's favorite be-goateed Ranger has decided to go to a bar and play some pool, or, as the British know it snooker. You know, this is one of those cases where both sides of the pond have come up with equally odd names for something. Some Bikers show up and start hassling the owner, an elderly black man with lots of earthy wisdom to share. He tells the bikers to leave, and Merrick decides to annihilate the bikers for sport. It doesn't take long. The owner, Willie, offers Merrick some food and a place to stay...also his bar is called Willie's roadhouse. Merrick quickly agrees to become Willie's cooler, and it's only a matter of time before he rips out the throat of an Org.
Down in the villain hideout whose name I can't remember, Master Org is looking for Toxica and Jindrax doesn't know where she is. Jindrax volunteers himself to be the next general, but Master Org leaves during his presentation.
Back on the Animarium, the Rangers get alerted to some Putrids led by Jindrax who are storming the city. The Rangers can't believe that Jindrax is any kind of threat, and both he and the Rangers are surprised when a new general named Necronomica shows up. Fuck, an Org that is powered by the Old Ones? That'd be awesome. This....isn't that.
At the roadhouse, Merrick is changing into some contemporary clothes and realizes that the useless Rangers are about to get the shit beaten out of them. He shows up and saves them and Necronomica flees. The fight over, the Rangers try to get Merrick to hang out with them, but he really doesn't want to, and leaves. Alyssa tries to prove him wrong by showing evidence of the time that Zen-Aku bandaged Alyssa's leg. Yeah, and Zen-Aku also tried to kill Alyssa a bunch of time too.
Later, the Wolf Zord shows up on the Animarium and takes Shayla away. The other Rangers speculate on what this means. Shayla shows up at the Roadhouse, and Merrick is happy that Shayla is alive, but doesn't want a relationship with her because it's taboo to go out with women with mental illnesses....or because Merrick has a mission to destroy the Orgs.
Time for a new Org! Jindrax shows off Stereo Org, who assaults the Rangers with the worst rap ever created. Shit...there's no way the Rangers can stand up to that kind of abuse. Merrick once again saves the day, bringing the number of time the Rangers would have died but for an act of Merrick/Zen-Aku to roughly 94. The Org responds with a hail of CDs, and Merrick responds by using his deadly Billiard Break Smasher to kill the enemy. Necronomica shows up again and only Merrick can stop her....again. The Wolf Zord gives Merrick a bike to help him kill Necronomica, and he does in the most brutal fashion that he can think of. The rest of the Rangers finish her off with the Savage Slash....
And it turns out that Necronomica was Toxica all along, as she'd used a piece of Nayzor's corpse to give her more power, which the Rangers just beat out of her. Oh, well, easy come, easy go. Toxica explains that she's rather sure that Master Org isn't really an Org, and wanted some extra power so that he didn't end up killing them for some reason. This exposition completed, she then decides to make the Stereo Org grow. Cole insists on using the Rhino Soccer Mode, and I'll just add that to the ever-growing list of reasons that I hate Cole.
Speaking of hateful things, the Stereo Org lets loose another rap that is technically prohibited under the Toxic Substances Control Act of 1974. In response, the Rangers use the mighty power of soccer or futbol to defeat the monster.
Later, the Rangers are still trying to get Merrick to hang out with them on the Animarium. Merrick points out that just because they're on the same team doesn't mean they have to spend every fucking minute of the day together. That's.....actually a good point. Taylor tosses him a jacket much like the other Rangers have with Merrick's Wolf symbol on it. It's the sort of jacket that looks awkward zippered up....which is unfortunate because Merrick will never, ever, ever leave the damn thing open to the point where it becomes a legitimate question whether or not he knows how to unzipper a jacket. Show Over!
Next Time: It turns out that Cole was actually dead all along....at least according to the State.
Original Airdate: 6-1-2002
Last Time: Merrick became the Wolf Ranger and proved to be more competent than the rest of the team combined. Realizing that he was way too awesome to hang out with those losers, he then refused to join the team.
3000 years ago, Merrick gave Shayla her necklace, and later explained that Shayla had to go sleep on the Animarium while he went off to fight Master Org. In the present, Alyssa wants to know how many more generals Master Org has at his disposal, and Shayla answers that she's glad Merrick's back. Well, at least she didn't say "I don't know."
Meanwhile, everyone's favorite be-goateed Ranger has decided to go to a bar and play some pool, or, as the British know it snooker. You know, this is one of those cases where both sides of the pond have come up with equally odd names for something. Some Bikers show up and start hassling the owner, an elderly black man with lots of earthy wisdom to share. He tells the bikers to leave, and Merrick decides to annihilate the bikers for sport. It doesn't take long. The owner, Willie, offers Merrick some food and a place to stay...also his bar is called Willie's roadhouse. Merrick quickly agrees to become Willie's cooler, and it's only a matter of time before he rips out the throat of an Org.
Down in the villain hideout whose name I can't remember, Master Org is looking for Toxica and Jindrax doesn't know where she is. Jindrax volunteers himself to be the next general, but Master Org leaves during his presentation.
Back on the Animarium, the Rangers get alerted to some Putrids led by Jindrax who are storming the city. The Rangers can't believe that Jindrax is any kind of threat, and both he and the Rangers are surprised when a new general named Necronomica shows up. Fuck, an Org that is powered by the Old Ones? That'd be awesome. This....isn't that.
At the roadhouse, Merrick is changing into some contemporary clothes and realizes that the useless Rangers are about to get the shit beaten out of them. He shows up and saves them and Necronomica flees. The fight over, the Rangers try to get Merrick to hang out with them, but he really doesn't want to, and leaves. Alyssa tries to prove him wrong by showing evidence of the time that Zen-Aku bandaged Alyssa's leg. Yeah, and Zen-Aku also tried to kill Alyssa a bunch of time too.
Later, the Wolf Zord shows up on the Animarium and takes Shayla away. The other Rangers speculate on what this means. Shayla shows up at the Roadhouse, and Merrick is happy that Shayla is alive, but doesn't want a relationship with her because it's taboo to go out with women with mental illnesses....or because Merrick has a mission to destroy the Orgs.
Time for a new Org! Jindrax shows off Stereo Org, who assaults the Rangers with the worst rap ever created. Shit...there's no way the Rangers can stand up to that kind of abuse. Merrick once again saves the day, bringing the number of time the Rangers would have died but for an act of Merrick/Zen-Aku to roughly 94. The Org responds with a hail of CDs, and Merrick responds by using his deadly Billiard Break Smasher to kill the enemy. Necronomica shows up again and only Merrick can stop her....again. The Wolf Zord gives Merrick a bike to help him kill Necronomica, and he does in the most brutal fashion that he can think of. The rest of the Rangers finish her off with the Savage Slash....
And it turns out that Necronomica was Toxica all along, as she'd used a piece of Nayzor's corpse to give her more power, which the Rangers just beat out of her. Oh, well, easy come, easy go. Toxica explains that she's rather sure that Master Org isn't really an Org, and wanted some extra power so that he didn't end up killing them for some reason. This exposition completed, she then decides to make the Stereo Org grow. Cole insists on using the Rhino Soccer Mode, and I'll just add that to the ever-growing list of reasons that I hate Cole.
Speaking of hateful things, the Stereo Org lets loose another rap that is technically prohibited under the Toxic Substances Control Act of 1974. In response, the Rangers use the mighty power of soccer or futbol to defeat the monster.
Later, the Rangers are still trying to get Merrick to hang out with them on the Animarium. Merrick points out that just because they're on the same team doesn't mean they have to spend every fucking minute of the day together. That's.....actually a good point. Taylor tosses him a jacket much like the other Rangers have with Merrick's Wolf symbol on it. It's the sort of jacket that looks awkward zippered up....which is unfortunate because Merrick will never, ever, ever leave the damn thing open to the point where it becomes a legitimate question whether or not he knows how to unzipper a jacket. Show Over!
Next Time: It turns out that Cole was actually dead all along....at least according to the State.
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